Showing posts from July, 2016

How Sociopaths Deceive Others

By: Christine Hammond
Ever wonder how a person was able to earn trust so quickly and then exploit it for their own benefit? Perhaps they stole money, took over a business, or openly violated ethical conduct codes. One day they were a best friend and now for no apparent reason, they make themselves an enemy. Even now, it is hard to imagine that they were not the person they presented. How were they able to be so deceptive? Anti-Social Personality Disorder (ASPD) is the technical definition for sociopathic and psychopathic behavior. Imagine ASPD as a spectrum where there is evidence of subtle to extreme versions of the behavioral dysfunction. Sociopaths are generally thought of as a milder type than psychopaths. This makes them harder to recognize in the average work environment. So how do they do it?
1.Survey - Sociopaths begin their deception by carefully observing their new environment. Since most sociopath burn up relationships fast, they are frequently forced into new surroundings in …

Living Someone Who Has Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder

By: Christine Hammond
From the outside looking in, things look perfect. That is precisely the impression a person with Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder (OCPD) intends to give. They seem to be the model spouse, parent, friend, and most especially employee. And they have many rewards, honors, recognitions, and promotions to prove it. But things are not what they seem from the inside looking out. OCPD is not the same thing as Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD). This article explains the difference: For those living with a person who has OCPD, life is frustrating. There is a sense that nothing the spouse or children can do is ever good enough for the OCPD. The constant nitpicking, exactness, narrowmindedness, and rigidity over insignificant matters can cause family members to feel as though they were going crazy. Here are twelve ways …

What Narcissists and People Pleasers Have in Common

By: Christine Hammond, LMHC
Narcissists and people pleasers seem to be drawn towards each other. While opposites do attract, there are some similarities that keep the connection powerful.
Priorities. Narcissists think of themselves first and very little of others; people pleasers think of others and very little of themselves. Both however believe that their way of prioritizing is right. It is not. The neglect of others (narcissism) is selfish and causes unnecessary distance, confrontation and lack of intimacy. The neglect of self (people pleasing) creates unwanted exhaustion, increased anxiety and also contributes to a lack of intimacy. Without a balance of self and others, a person cannot be fully intimate.
Rescuing. Narcissists and people pleasers love to rescue others however, they do it for very different reasons. Narcissists gain a sense of superiority from saving others because they were able to solve something the other person could not do on their own. In exchange for the help, …

7 Tactics Narcissists Use to Escape Responsibility

By: Christine Hammond, LMHC
Ask a narcissist if they are dependable and they will say, “I’m the most responsible person you know, you can always count on me.” And they can be. But when the rubber meets the road (an old saying about being put to the test), narcissists seem to wiggle out of accountability. Why? Narcissists will gladly be responsible for the things they deem worthy, especially when it provides an opportunity to be the center of attention. However, when others place responsibility on the narcissist, the narcissist sees this as an attempt to control them. This violates one of their personal mantras: no one will have power over them. So they escape from all liability. How?
1.Intimidate/Blame. The narcissist begins by bullying the person endeavoring to hold them accountable. Frequently they resort to name calling and belittling to assert dominance over the other person. Once a subordinate position has been established, they blame the person for attempting to make the narcissi…

The 7 Steps of Accepting Responsibility for Wrongdoing

By: Christine Hammond, LMHC
Everyone does something wrong. It could be gossiping about a friend, belittling a spouse, inappropriate punishment of a kid, lying to a neighbor, or stealing from work. Regardless of the offense, there are steps that a person must take to demonstrate they have accepted responsibility for their wrongdoing.
1.Acknowledge Internally. The first step a person takes is to admit what they did was wrong internally. This is the most critical step because it is not about what others see rather it is a condition of the heart. The person must recognize that their behavior was wrong or hurtful to another person and then choose to amend. Many people fake this first step in order to look good in front of others but without it, no real positive change can occur.  2.Confess to Another. This step can be embarrassing and is often skipped for that reason. When a person has done wrong to a victim, confessing their behavior to another person allows there to be a level of accountab…

How to Confront an Abusive Person

By: Christine Hammond, LMHC
It is hard to confront an abusive person, especially when it is a spouse, parent, employer, or child and the relationship is not easily banished. Sometimes the abuse is so intense, that the relationship must be dissolved for the safety of the victim. Other times, the abuse may be mild but nonetheless is hurtful and harmful in several ways. Here are some suggestions for handling abusive people:

1.See it. There are seven main ways a person can be abused: physically, mentally, verbally, emotionally, financially, spiritually, and sexually. Begin to see the different types of abuse for what they are. At the beginning, this is done long after the abuse has occurred. Eventually, awareness can happen while it is occurring. Here are a few examples from each category. a.Physical abuse includes: intimidating body language, isolating person from others, restraining to keep from leaving, being aggressive and endangering another life. b.Mental abuse includes: gaslighting (c…