Tuesday, March 17, 2015

FREE 3 Hour CEU Presentation

“How to have that difficult conversation you’ve been avoiding with your family, coworkers, parents, partner or children.”

Presented by: Dwight Bain, LMHC, NCC, CLC

Objectives:

  1. Identify the most common family secrets and dysfunction to confront.
  2. Gain a strategic approach to confront secrets or addictions with confidence.
  3. Role Play a family confrontation without a conflict to achieve therapeutic goals.
  4. Discover when to challenge, when to confront, and when to refer for inpatient care.
  5. Identify the key elements necessary to re-write a family story.


Date:  Friday, March 20, 2015
 
Time:  9am – 12pm
Registration and breakfast begin at 8am
 
Location:  6601 Central Florida Parkway, Orlando FL 32821
Central Florida Behavioral Hospital tours will be available after presentation.
 

 
Email Rich Rodriguez by 3/16/15 to register.  Rich.Rodriguez@uhsinc.com

Class size is limited.

 

Central Florida Behavioral Hospital is an approved CEU provider by Florida Department of Health BAP#1030 for the Florida Board of Licensed Clinical Social Workers, Licensed Marriage & Family Therapists and Licensed Mental Health Counselors and the Florida Board of Nursing Provider # 50-11351 for Registered Nurses, Licensed Practical Nurses and ARNPs.  Florida Board of Psychology Provider #: 50-3120 Attendance to the entire program and completion of program evaluation required for contact hour credit.

Friday, March 06, 2015

10 Bad Marriage Communication Habits By: Christine Hammond, LMHC


How would you rate communication with your spouse? Are you a 10: interaction is perfect and both of you feel understood? Are you a 1: there is no exchange? Or are you a 5: there is some discussion but a lot of confusion?
Where ever your score (unless you are a perfect 10), your communication can be improved. The quickest way to move up the scale is to stop some bad communication habits.
  1. Lying – Even small lies have consequences and a pattern of lying breeds mistrust.
  2. Not listening – Thinking about what you are going to say instead of what is being said.
  3. Interrupting – Causes frustration and demonstrates a lack of respect.
  4. Getting distracted – Other things/people are more important than your spouse.
  5. Failing to prioritize – Produces a “Chicken Little” situation – “The sky is falling.”
  6. Taking things personally – Not all comments (direct or indirect) are about you.
  7. Assuming – This makes an “ass out of you and me”.
  8. Name calling / yelling – Borders on abusive or controlling tactics.
  9. Over-explaining – More is not better when it comes to explaining.
  10. Bringing up the past – Some things are better left in the past where they belong.
For optimal results, focus on your bad habits first before highlighting your spouse’s bad habits. Once you have made a noticeable improvement, it will be far easier to discuss your concerns with your spouse.

Thursday, March 05, 2015

Dating in the Millennial Era By: Emily Long

Flash back: You just got home from a date that you know went exceptionally well. There was a chemistry, the other person had just the right amount of everything you’re looking for. In the two days following you wait by the phone. After two days, if you haven’t heard from them, you start going through the notions of hurt, rejection, and confusion. Fast forward to the present: The time limit on the “call back” has drastically changed. With the evolution of technology, the “call back” has now turned into a “text back” and normally it’s within an hour of the person leaving. Something simple like “I had a great time tonight.” The conversation goes on for a little bit and you think you really have a connection with this person. Then the day comes, whether it be before or after your second date, that they disappear. Your life turns into a front-row magic show where you’re left wondering what happened. The psychological torture of the hurt, rejection, and confusion becomes more intense due to the fact that it takes 30 seconds to send a text message. Instead of jumping every time a phone rang loudly next to you like back in the day, you now jump every time your text message alert goes off. You never come to a full conclusion of what went wrong and eventually you learn to let it go. What other choice do you have? But then two months later, you get that text you’ve been waiting for. The spiral of confusion begins again.

The dating game has now changed into a giant psychological game of different scenarios that in the end, mostly all have the same result: unanswered questions. The only question that really should be pending is: Why do we put each other through all of this? It should be simple; if you don’t like someone you tell them (kindly) that you weren’t feeling it or into it. In their maturity, they should be understanding. Post Korean War, a code of conduct was put into effect following the exploitation of U.S. POWs through psychological torture. Although this does not compare to what these soldiers went through, it sparks an idea: Why can’t dating have a code of conduct? With dating now at your fingertips through websites such as Match and Christian Mingle, why not establish some guidelines to save each other from the ensuing confusion? Here are a few:
 

  1. What if I’m just not feeling it?
Yes, honesty can hurt, but what hurts more? Questioning what went wrong. Of course on the first date everyone knows how to glamorize themselves or will know if it just didn’t turn out right. Getting to know the person better might take a couple of dates, but if after that you’re just not into it, tell them. If you’re afraid of hurting their feelings, think about how you’ll actually be helping them more by not leading them on. If they can’t accept the fact that you don’t feel things were going the same way that they do, then that’s a red flag and it’s probably better that you walk away now.

 

  1. How long do I have to wait to text?
When is it an acceptable amount of time to text them? The answer is very simple: whenever you feel like it.  However, 10 missed calls and 20 text messages are NOT ok! Although you’re already thinking about them non-stop, if something truly significant comes into mind and you want to text them, it’s OK. This is also the time to use your intuition on the conversations. If the other person doesn’t respond with anything to keep the conversation going, don’t try to carry it alone. They may be busy so give them time to respond. If or when they do respond, take it as a positive sign, even if they’re not carrying on a back-to-back text conversation. If they don’t respond at all, take it as a sign to move on.

 

  1. What do I call them?
You’ve been on a couple dates, or more than that, and you haven’t brought up meeting friends or family yet (way too soon!). Then it happens- you run into someone they know or used to know and courtesy demands that they introduce you. You’re all ears as to how they’re going to refer to you. In this situation, it’s perfectly acceptable to say, “This is my date, (insert name here)”. There’s also the option of being introduced by your first name with a simple explanation of what you’re doing. For example: “This is (insert name here) we’re going to see the new movie that just came out.” The friend you ran into will most likely not push it any further. The questions will come later time when you’re not there.

 

  1. What do I call us?
If you’ve made it anywhere close to the month dating mark, this question is on your mind. You are constantly questioning how they view you, and wondering if they’re questioning how you view them. Suddenly you’re keyed into anything you think would be a subtle hint as to how the relationship is progressing. If things are clearly going great, don’t be afraid to ask at this point where the relationship is headed, but leave it at that. The response to this question should simply affirm that you’re not wasting your time with this person. Do not pressure them to take it to the next level or it will make them distance themselves from you. 

 

  1. Social media
Just received a promotion? Immediate Facebook status update! Showing off your new pair of sunglasses? Instagram #selfie! Sleeping through an alarm clock made you late for work? Twitter update! It’s 2015, your whole life is on the internet, so why would you not post about your new relationship/potential relationship (depending on the conversation you had from #4)? You might really like this person and like where things are going, but consider social media as another step in the dating process. Would you introduce them to your parents after the first date? If you answered no (and hopefully you did), then understand it’s almost the same idea. Take your time and enjoy what a relationship is supposed to be about: two people getting to know each other. It’s an exciting feeling to like someone new and want to show them off to the world. The most important people that need to know most likely do at this point anyway, so don’t focus on letting all of your old high school friends know. Relationships build a better foundation when you establish yourselves in each others’ lives than on Facebook.

 
The most important thing while entering the dating stage is to remember your individuality. Everyone you date isn’t going to be “the one”, they might be one of 50 more to come on the path to finding your match. Enjoy the experience of each person you encounter and remember that they have a heart just as you do. No matter what the outcome, each person you date will be a lesson. Whether you see the lesson immediately or further down the road, have fun and enjoy the adventure!

Helicopter Parenting By: Cara Griffin-Locker, IMH

Anyone who is a parent knows it is the hardest job out there.  Being in charge of another human is the most terrifying yet rewarding experience. From the time they are babies, parents are the sole provider for this tiny life that they have created.  Being able to care for and instruct one’s children is a blessing, yet in the same respect can be a trial.  Parents are the ones they look to for guidance, the ones in control and who have things under control.  Parents control what they eat, wear and do from an early age.  That is until they start realizing that they have the ability to say yes or no and start challenging their parents’ instructions and decision-making. 

The average child’s frontal lobe does not develop until they are 25 years old, so it makes perfect sense that parents would want to remain in control of the decision-making process. Ultimately they are trying to prevent their kids from making mistakes that may alter their lives in a harmful way. Or maybe they are trying to save them from making the same mistakes they made as teens or young adults. As the parents try to remain in control, the kids push away; the parents then try to pull them in closer and soon they feel the power and control they once had slip away as their babies become teens and young adults. When parents feel like they are losing control of their child, they become over-protective. What are the signs of a controlling and/or over-protective parent? If you can answer yes to any of these questions then you may be guilty as charged:

1.       Over-scrutinizing your child’s eating, appearance or social life

2.       Violating their privacy

3.       Pressuring them to be perfect

4.       Forbidding them to question or disagree with you

5.       Being intimidating, overpowering or manipulative

6.       Discouraging them from expressing anger, fear or sadness

7.       Discouraging them from being able to express their individualism

8.       Giving them  no say in any given matter

9.       Unwillingness to admit when you are wrong

10.   Being (or accused of being) unaware of the pain your behavior is causing to your child

If you answered yes to four or more of these questions then you are guilty of helicopter parenting. Here are some helpful hints for the almost controlling (for those in denial) to controlling parent.

·         Evaluate your helpfulness. Some of the controlling things people do actually stem from a desire to be helpful. Unfortunately, in reality, such well-intended actions don’t always end up being helpful. Sit down and honestly evaluate your helping. If an action is effectively causing positive change, keep going. If not, stop doing it.

·         Perfection equals imperfection. No one is perfect, not even you. The more you try to make your child perfect, the more they will fail.  Set them up for success by allowing them to be who they are.  They will be good at some things and not so good at others.  It’s okay - no two people are the same.

·         Practice giving up control. To break the habit of being controlling, you’ll need to get out of your comfort zone and practice giving up control. Slowly working towards letting them make their own decisions will help shape them into the capable confident adult they will need to be.

·         Manage your anxiety. The need to control things comes from an internal anxiety. Turn your attention to managing your anxiety, rather than everything and everyone around you. Learn everything you can about anxiety and dealing with anxious feelings.

·         Accept. You cannot put your child in a bubble to protect them from the world.  They will make mistakes and maybe even some that you yourself have made, but that is how we grow and learn.

·         Therapy. Most of the time we are the product of how we were raised; we are our parents.  Stepping into therapy can be rather difficult but vital if you want to heal from your own wounds and not project them onto your child.

The most important job of a parent is to guide their children in such a way that prepares them for life and all it has to offer.  It is also to illustrate respect, love and understanding through actions and words.  To do this effectively takes finding the right balance between being involved in the lives of one’s children and giving them enough space to grow and express their individuality in the various scenarios that life will throw at them.

Tuesday, February 24, 2015

Do you know to lead your Community out of Crisis?

Become a Certified Trained Crisis Responder!
 
School Shooting, Co-Worker Suicide, Bombing, Terrorist Attack, Hurricane, Tornado, Fire, Flood, Multiple Car or Bus Fatality or Airline Disaster - when you hear about a major crisis do you know what to do to help someone?
 
If a community shooting or disaster happened at your workplace, school, church or neighborhood would you know what to do?
 
Would you know what to say?
 
Would you know how to protect that person you cared about from developing PTSD?
 
Would you know what do to protect yourself or those you care about from secondary trauma?
 
This 2 day crisis certification course was designed by experts after the terrorist attacks of 9/11 by the United States National Guard and the International Critical Incident Stress Foundation as a rapid psychological response to community trauma. Continuing Education Credit is offered from the University of Maryland - Baltimore Campus and an official certificate showing your accomplishment is given for those who complete both days of this intensive crisis recovery training.
 
TCR prepares you to manage a major crisis and lead a critical incident stress debriefing session, (CISD) while keeping yourself and family safe from the psychological harm.
 
There are 8 TCR training modules offered over 2 days in this intensive certification class to equip you in dealing with community crisis events. You will learn the early warning signs of PTSD, (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder), how to prevent secondary psychological trauma while working as a first responder providing psychological first aid in real life scenarios.
 
This rapid crisis stabilization process is taught by Dwight Bain, a certified crisis response instructor who worked at Ground Zero in New York City after the terrorist attacks of 9/11 and has equipped thousands with psychological survival skills to use until emergency management teams can arrive on the scene. Crisis events will come to Florida - are you going to be prepared to help or will you be a helpless bystander?

"Up to 35% of those exposed to traumatic events such as disasters and terrorism will develop significant posttraumatic psychological distress and perhaps PTSD." -U.S. National Guard
 
This course is for Pastors, Counselors, Nurses, Teachers, Lay Counselors, Administrators, Law Enforcement, Chaplains and Concerned Citizens interested in becoming a trained crisis responder to manage Community Crisis Events or the aftermath of Terrorist Attacks.
 
Space is limited.   Register now!
 
 
 
Two-Day Certification
 
March 12-13, 2015
9:00 a.m. - 5 p.m. daily
 
(must attend both days for full certification and Credit from ICISF and the University of Maryland/Baltimore Campus)
 
ICISF Instructor: Dwight Bain
 
Training Facility Location:
Florida Hospital Eustis,
Waterman Campus, Lake County, FL
 
Trained Crisis Responder Certification
Registration Form
 
March  12-13 2015   9:00 am - 5:00 pm daily
ICISF Certified Instructor Dwight Bain
Training facility: Florida Hospital Waterman Campus, Eustis, (Lake County), Florida
  
PLEASE PRINT your name clearly since it will be used for your Official TCR Certificate
 
Name________________________________________________________________
Address   _____________________________________________________________                                    
Telephone: ___________________________________________________________
E-mail   ______________________________________________________________

  ______$89.00 - early bird registration (before March 1st)
 ______ $149.00 - later registration (after March 1st - only if space is still available)
  ______ Group Registration -  4th person FREE with 3 paid registrations, ($149.00 value)
 
 (Names of 3 registered __________________________________________
___________________________________________
___________________________________________
 
Payment Options:

Make check or money order payable to:     
The LifeWorks Group
1850 Lee Road, suite 250
Winter Park, FL 32789
 
You can email this registration form with your credit card information to Sola Thompson at info@lifeworksgroup.org or fax directly to:  407-647-8874
 
Credit card number_______________________________________________________

Expiration date ___________________  three digit CVV code on back of card, ____________

Zip code for billing address of credit card _______________    
 
Refund and cancellation policy: Full refund minus $25 processing fee if notice is given 10 days before workshop.
If later cancellation, fee can be applied to future TCR crisis certifications.

Thursday, February 05, 2015

Love 365 Days a Year

By: Cara Griffin-Locker

What is Love? Is it an action? A thought? Or maybe just a feeling? According to the Bible, “Love is patient, kind, does not envy, does not boast and is not proud.  Love does not dishonor others nor is not self-seeking. Love is not easily angered or keeps no record of wrongs.  Love does not delight in evil but rejoices in truth.  It always protects, trusts, hopes, and perseveres.” (1 Cor. 13:4-7) This is something to think about as we approach the famous Hallmark Holiday.  For most of us, Valentine’s Day is a big day that includes the red carpet treatment. From flowers to cards, chocolates and dinner it is the one day to go above and beyond to show the one you love that you truly care, right? Wrong. Many of us have the wrong impression of love.  Certainly it is nice to be showered with things on Valentine’s Day but what about the other 364 days? What about showing love without using material items? Now if you are a pessimist you will say that only people who lack Valentines will say such a thing.  However, love should be expressed every day of the year, not just on the one day where everything is more expensive and expectations are highest.

Loving someone 365 days a year is not easy but worth the challenge.  Expressing love can be exhilarating and a testament of how you feel about yourself.  Here are some helpful tips to show love all year long and without using words!

·         Make time despite how busy you may be.  It is easy to get wrapped up in our own lives so making time for the person you love or simply care about is vital even if it means just going for a cup of coffee or maybe even enjoying a walk in the park.

·         Listening is one of the simplest ways to show love without using words. Listening to each word they say even when it’s boring is pertinent in showing those you love that they are important and worthy.

·         Acts of kindness are a generous and thoughtful way to show someone how much you mean to them. Doing things such as the dishes, taking out trash or preparing a nice meal may seem small but sometimes it is the small things that count.

·         The warmth of a kiss or a hug is sometimes the best and a great way to express love without using words.

·         Supporting someone is vital in any relationship. Supporting doesn’t mean you always agree with them but it shows you are reliable, trustworthy and dependable during the good, bad and ugly.

  • Random surprises are always fun and a sweet gesture of affection. When you listen to everything a person says, you learn a lot about them. Getting someone their favorite food at the store or surprising them with a special activity shows you take note of what they like and enjoy.

As you go about your life this year, don’t limit the expression of your love to Valentine’s Day. Think about these helpful hints and be mindful of the various ways you can show love without using material items or even words.

Narcissist Sexual Abuse

By: Christine Hammond
Has sex become something you just do rather than enjoy? Do you feel pressured into having sex? Is it possible to be sexually abused in a marital relationship?

Sexual abuse can happen to both men and women in and out of a marital relationship. In a relationship with a narcissist, however, that abuse becomes magnified. For the narcissist, sexual abuse is used to control your behavior, elevate their feelings of superiority, reenact their fantasies (not yours), and paralyze you. Not all narcissists use sexual abuse as a means of domination. But if you are in a relationship with one, knowing even the subtle forms of sexual abuse can be freeing.

1.       The Early Stage. A narcissist begins the abuse by grooming you. They do a mildly abusive act to see if you acquiesce. For instance, they might fondle you in front of your mother or demand sexting while you are at work. These unwanted or embarrassing sexual acts are designed to catch you off-guard and create a feeling of trepidation. It is also a subtle message to others that you belong to them. Not in a comforting way, but one that leaves you feeling like a possession. Be warned, sometimes narcissists share your sexting photos with friends further adding humiliation. When you confront the narcissist, they minimize, deny, or blame you.

1.1.    Verbal Assaults. In the beginning, the verbal comments are amazingly flattering. You are the person of their dreams. You meet all of their sexual needs. But as soon as you begin to disagree with a sexual preference, you are accused of being manipulative and controlling.  You are openly criticized for your sexual desires or lack thereof. Then the comments turn vulgar. Sexual insults or debasing comments about your body become more common. You begin to feel not good enough, being called both a whore and a prude. Narcissists do not see partners as individuals with feelings and opinions. Rather they are pieces of meat. This is apparent in the general way they talk about the opposite sex.

1.2.    Jealousy Rages. The narcissist demands that you tell them everything about your previous sexual partners and encounters. Then they use the information to call you a slut or use your encounters as rationalization for their own indiscretions. When you become jealous, they claim you are being irrational and domineering. Some narcissists want you to cover up in public while others want you to wear provocative clothing beyond your comfort level. No matter what the outfit, you are accused of being attracted to others, flirting, flaunting your body, and cheating.  The narcissist will use these accusations as justification for further sexual abuse. “You deserve this,” or “You asked for this,” are typical narcissistic responses. They can also be jealous of children or pets, basically anything that takes your attention away from them.

1.3.    Coercion Tactics. To persuade you into having sex, the narcissist uses harassment, guilt, shame, blame, or rage. For them, this is not sexual abuse. Yet it is; any coerced sexual act is abusive. For example, they insist on sex after an argument to prove your commitment. Or they will play the victim card and compel you to have sex so they feel safe, secure, or validated. They nag and insult you, become angry and disruptive, refusing to allow you to leave or sleep until you concede. When you do finally give in, you disconnect emotionally and hurry up just to get it over. It is not satisfying for you but for them.

1.4.    Threatening Infidelity. The narcissist threatens infidelity if you don’t comply with their escalating sexual desires, change your appearance, or gain weight. They might dangle another female in front of you to bully you into doing sexual acts that you are uncomfortable performing. To isolate you from friends, they might openly talk or joke about being attracted to your friend. When verbal threats fail, the narcissist will be unfaithful to prove their point. 

2.       The Pushy Stage. It’s never enough. No frequency or style of sex is ever enough. Just when you believe that you have reached your boundaries, the narcissist pushes you further and further. When you object, you are ridiculed for your stance and all of the tactics in the early stage are condensed into one rant until you concede. Just to prove their dominance, they use your opposition as an excuse for pushing you even more.

2.1.    Inciting Fear. You begin submitting to unwanted sexual acts out of fear that the narcissist will hit you, leave you, humiliate you, punish you, betray you, or withhold money. To reinforce this fear, the narcissist will do these acts, blame you for “making me do it,” and then demand you have sex to prove your loyalty. The pressure to have sex is unrelenting and unforgiving regardless of your physical condition and sexual desires.

2.2.    Selfish Appeals. A classic example of selfish sex is unprotected sex. Because intercourse is all about how the narcissist feels, they refuse to use condoms and insist you take full responsibility for birth control or STD/STI protection. It is not uncommon for a narcissist to lie about having STD/STIs, refuse to be checked, and then blame you when you contract it. Your concerns over unprotected sex are belittled and minimized. It is all about them.

2.3.    Sexual Withdraw. Some narcissists completely withdraw all sex from the relationship. Any requests you make for sex are met with ridicule, rants about your performance, and excessive excuses for abstinence. You are to blame for their lack of desire, it is never their fault. They will also oscillate between excessive sex and complete withdraw to maintain control and manipulate you into doing whatever they ask.

2.4.    Ultimatums. For the narcissist, your body is theirs and their body is theirs. Therefore they feel entitled to give ultimatums about your body. You have to lose weight or exercise more or groom yourself in a certain way to keep them satisfied. You could be in the hospital sick and if the narcissist wants to have sex, you are required to meet their needs. You are forced into pregnancy or an abortion because it is what they want, not what you want. You are not allowed to breast feed your baby because they don’t like how your breasts look.

2.5.    Destroying Principles. Prior to meeting the narcissist, you had standards of what was acceptable sexually. For instance, participating in pornography, prostitution, having multiple partners at one time, or sex with animals was completely out of the question. But now, the narcissist’s argument for bending your principles seems compelling. You begin to believe the lie that if you will submit to the act just one time, then they will be satisfied and not require more of you. So they persuade you into have sex with someone else while they watch or have you watch them having sex with someone else. They might record you having sex without your knowledge and then beg you to watch it with them. But it is not enough. If you withhold sex out of disgust over bending your principles, they become angry, belligerent and sometimes violent.

3.       The Violent Stage. Once the narcissist reaches the violent stage, sex can no longer return to an expression of mutual love or commitment. They are not able to be excited by such menial emotions or simple intimate acts. It is now about intimidation, control, domination, power, torture, and terror. Not every narcissist escalates to this level; many just remain in the pushy stage fully content. But for those who do advance, these acts are often criminal. It is the act that is criminal not the nature of your relationship. You can be married and a victim of sexual crime.

3.1.    Rape. The FBI defines rape as “Penetration, no matter how slight, of the vagina or anus with any body part or object, or oral penetration by a sex organ of another person, without the consent of the victim.” This is a good time to take a break and reflect. You might have made excuses for the narcissist’s actions in the past but rape is rape no matter what the nature of your relationship is. Take a deep breath and have a good cry before reading on.

3.2.    Degrading Acts. Degradation is in the eye of the beholder. The narcissist would not view these acts as degrading but you might. You might even be okay with some of these acts or not. Without getting into too many specifics, here are a couple of examples: urinating on you, having sex while on the toilet, or sex in public places. Degrading acts are done to humiliate you and cause you to feel trapped in the relationship. The narcissist will say, “Who would want you but me after you have done this.”

3.3.    Sadistic Sex. There are two forms of sadistic sexual acts: mild (also known as S&M) and severe which can lead to death. Mild examples include: master-slave role playing, immobilizing you through drugs or alcohol, administering pain (whipping) during sex, confining you to a cage, typing you up, blindfolding you, or clamping your sexual organs. It is important to remember that any sexual act which is not consensual is considered rape. The severe examples include: physical beatings, psychological torture, burning, cutting, stabbing, vampirism, and murder before, during or after sex. A narcissistic sadist will not stop their behavior even when it is identified as such.

4.       The Exit Stage. You can choose to exit the relationship at any of the above stages, it is all sexual abuse. Understandably, some of these abusive acts you might not want to share with others as a reason for your departure. It can cause you unnecessary embarrassment, increase your humiliation, and prolong the healing process. You are not obligated to explain to anyone why you leave. But it is likely that you will need some professional help in order to heal. Sexual abuse leaves scars that frequently are not fully seen until you are in a healthy sexual relationship.

4.1.    Post-Relationship. Be warned, even after you have broken off the relationship with the narcissist, they do one of two extremes. Either you still belong to them (even after divorce) or they act as if you never existed. Since you are still theirs, they are entitled to continue to demand sex even if you are in a relationship with someone else. Or, they will wipe all memories or pictures of you out of their life pretending the relationship never happened. This is a narcissist phenomenon which can oscillate between the two extremes.

In the beginning, it is common for you to be in a state of shock and have intense fear about leaving. Just reading the information here may increase your anxiety or cause a panic attack. This is normal. You are coming out of the fog of abuse and it is a sign of health for you to react that way. Alternating mood swings of anger and depression are also typical as you begin to see your partner for the person they are rather than the image they have created. Just because a narcissist has an unrealistic image of themselves does not mean that you have to believe it.