Wednesday, February 10, 2016

How to Divorce a Narcissist

By: Christine Hammond, LMHC

Divorcing a narcissist is grueling because they refuse to be on the receiving end of someone leaving them. Their superior narcissistic ego will not allow the possibility that there might be something wrong with them. So they try numerous push away abusive tactics followed by pull closer romantic methods to keep the spouse from separating. But, in contrast, if the narcissist decides to go then there is no stopping them.
Due to the exhausting nature of divorce, it takes careful planning on how a spouse goes about the divorce. Done well, the process will be much easier and met with far less resistance. Follow these steps before confronting a narcissist.

1.       Recognize ending. There will be a point where enough is enough. Decide ahead of time what the boundary is and then have the courage to stick to it. For instance, a limitation could be multiple affairs. Once the second affair is discovered, consider this the point in time to end the relationship. This is not a boundary to be shared with a narcissistic spouse because they will come just close to the edge without actually going over it.
2.      Keep quiet. Using the above boundary as an example, don’t confront the narcissist with “I’m going to divorce you.” This will only ignite into the push/pull maneuver described above to keep the spouse from leaving. Another favorite tactic is gaslighting which rewrites history to make the narcissist look like the hero and the spouse look like the villain. There will be plenty of time for confronting later after other things have been lined up first.
3.      Discover evidence. The saying, “Where there is smoke, there is fire,” is especially true for a narcissist. They have an insatiable need for constant attention, approval, affection or affirmation. If they are not getting it at home, they will get it somewhere else. This could come in the form of affairs (physical or emotional), and/or addictions (drugs, alcohol, sex, spending, work or gambling). To discover the vices, follow the money. Look for excessive cash withdraws, hidden accounts, strange charges, and new credit cards.
4.      Gather support. When looking for supportive friends and family, they must be 100% devoted to the spouse and not the narcissist. It is best to find a friend who sees the narcissism and has an accurate memory of past events. A person trying to remain neutral will not provide the needed support. There should only be a small handful of people in this circle who are capable of maintaining confidentiality and have been tested in the past. This is not the time to test or add new relationships. Be very leery of anyone wanting to become a fast close friend during this time, it could be a set-up.
5.      Verify perspective. Spend some time one-on-one with this small group of friends to verify perspective. Ask questions and gather more information about examples of the narcissism and any abusive tactics. Make an actual list and/or timeline of events to bring even more clarity. The evidence acquired will be useful later in determining an effective strategy.
6.      Stash funds. Typically once a narcissist smells the possibility of divorce, they cut off access to funds. It is important to have some money put aside for a temporary place to live and basic living expenses. Ideally, the money will not be needed but if it is, having it will keep options open rather than closed. The funds should be in an account separate from any current banking relationship. Have a couple of zero balance credit cards on hand as well.
7.      Use professionals. Preferably, use professionals who are familiar with narcissism and have developed effective strategies. A therapist can provide wisdom, guidance for healing, and emotional support during the divorce process. An attorney will protect the spouse’s best interest instead of the narcissist. Do not rely on the narcissist to find professionals because they will choose only people who are fully supportive of them or are easily manipulated. 
8.     Remove emotion. It is normal to be emotional during a divorce as the stages of grief (denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance) are very similar to a death. However, too much emotion can cloud judgement and prohibit a person from making logical choices. Think of the divorce as a business transaction rather than an emotional divide. The narcissist is counting on and will try to incite the spouse into making rash fiery responses. They know the exact buttons to push and have no problem utilizing them.
9.      Discern timing. Before confronting the narcissist about a divorce, make sure friends and professionals are lined up and agree with the timing. Don’t pull the trigger on this too soon or all of the hard work in preparing could be lost. The spouse should wait for the right moment when confidence is strong and the decision is final. There is no turning back.
10.  Pull trigger. Now is the time to confront. Don’t do this in a private location where an abusive act can take place. Rather choose a quiet public location where it is difficult to raise a voice. Narcissists hate to be embarrassed so use that desire in the spouse’s favor. Have some friends on alert to check-in and see if everything is fine. Be non-emotion, very direct, and give extremely short responses to any attack. Resist the urge to defend a position or take on unnecessary blame. Do not engage in an argument, leave this for the attorney.


The next step involves following the guidance and direction of a professional therapist and attorney wholeheartedly. Trust in their judgement about the situation and let them see through the divorce fog the narcissist will create. 

Wednesday, January 27, 2016

Reasons to Consider Utilizing Behavioral Hospitals

By: Christine Hammond, LMHC

Ever wondered if a behavioral hospital might be a good idea? These facilities are designed to help: an out of control addict, an unusually intense manic episode, a desire and means to commit suicide, a severely abused victim, a troubled teen who threatens to harm others, an intense anger rage, a person hallucinating, or a sudden on-set of confusion and disorganized speech. This following is a list of benefits from hospitalization. 

1. Highlights the dysfunction. A severely depressed person may not even realize just how depressed and dangerously close they are to the edge of suicidality. Placing them in a hospital reinforces the severity of the dysfunction. 

2. Safe from harming self or others. On a very practical level, the behavioral hospitals provide a locked environment where a person is monitored by professionals. It is very difficult to duplicate this level of safety at home. 

3. Supervised detox. In some cases, such as with alcohol withdraw, detoxing can cause death. This is not the time to take a chance that the addict is being honest with the amount they consume or even what they have taken. Allow professionals to observe the withdraw process and make any necessary medical decisions if needed. 

4. Informs family members. Depending on the nature of the family environment at home, some many not even take threats of self-harm seriously. This lack of attention may even escalate a person to act out inappropriately. Hospitalization enlightens the family that there is a problem in need of addressing. 

5. Break from environment. Whatever is causing the issue, stepping outside of the environment can provide a new perspective. This may bring to light an addiction, a dysfunctional marriage, a reoccurring mental disorder, or a lack of proper pharmaceutical medication. 

 6. Time to rest. Some behavioral hospitals are better at providing a restful environment than others. Those that do have a peaceful atmosphere allow a person to sleep and interact at their own pace. Adequate amounts of sleep can naturally reset several disorders. 

7. Group dynamics. Most facilities have group therapy as part of the daily activities. A new perspective can be gained from sharing and listening to other’s stories. Sometimes a person minimizes a large issue or magnifies a small one. Group sessions allow everyone to examine their distortion. 

 8. Accurate diagnosis. The hospitals are staffed with professionals who see the same types of disorders on a daily basis. This is a unique opportunity to have a person initially evaluated, diagnosed and then monitored to ensure the diagnosis is correct. A process which could take several months outside a facility can be done within days inside. 

9. Proper medication. With some medication, the side-effects can be seen immediately. Trying a new drug in a monitored environment is far safer than at home. Accurate quantities of medication can be very useful in the treatment of some disorders. 

 10. Rock-bottom moment. Some people view needing hospitalization as a rock-bottom moment. This is a very necessary step in the treatment of addiction for instance, because without it, a person is likely to return to the dysfunctional behavior. 

11. Treatment plan. When a person is discharged from the hospital, a treatment plan is provided to the patient. These action steps guide a person in what to do next, what type of professional to obtain ongoing help, and medication recommendations. 

12. Legal requirements. Depending on the state or country a person lives, there may be laws in place mandating hospitalization. Mental health professionals are frequently required to strictly follow these guidelines or risk the loss of their license. A good indication that person needs hospitalization is when the law sets this standard. 

Note: Not all behavioral hospitals are created the same. It is a good idea to visit a facility before sending a person there and reviewing the variety of options prior to needing it. Each hospital caters to a different clientele, so there is also a need for understanding the uniqueness each provides.

Tuesday, January 26, 2016

How Entitlement Thinking is Destroying Your Kids and Their Future Success in Life

By: Dwight Bain, LMHC

There is a disease affecting almost every child in America, and it can’t be treated at any hospital. The disease is Entitlement Thinking and it crosses into every corner of our country with the attitude of being served and being given more and more to create happiness. Entitlement is the belief that someone automatically deserves special privileges and special treatment and can be identified by one or all of the following symptoms -

Signs of Entitlement Thinking: 
·         I want Everything now.
·         I don’t want to Work for it. 
·         I don’t have to clean up my Mistakes.
·         I want things because Everyone else has it. 
·         I expect someone else to Fix all my problems. 
Psychologist Leon F. Seltzer wrote this description of the disease in Psychology Today: “Those ‘afflicted’ with a sense of entitlement demonstrate the attitude that whatever they want, they deserve- and automatically at that, simply because they are who they are. So anything they desire, whether material or relational, should be theirs. It’s inherently justified; there’s no need to actually earn it.” We all want what we want-and we want to have it now, please. In our culture of plenty, immediate gratification is very much a reality. We can make our dreams come true on multiple levels.”
Are you beginning to see the picture? Children who are given too much, or who are protected from responsibility are actually blocked from experiencing the confidence that can only come from effort. No effort – no internal strength, so when a parent feels pity for a tired child and sends them to bed while they stay up and complete the child’s science project it actually hurts the child because they don’t learn anything; (except that their mom will rescue them if they don’t plan out their time for school projects properly).

While it is important to remember that Entitlement Thinking can affect any age, it is most visible in those under the age of twenty. Author Jon Krakauer describes it this way, “It is easy, when you are young, to believe that what you desire is no less than what you deserve, to assume that if you want something badly enough, it is your God-given right to have it.”

No one wants to parent an Entitled Child, especially when they are at great risk of growing into an Entitled Adult living off of their parents for financial support. It’s embarrassing and difficult to break this pattern, that’s why it’s important to seriously address issues as young as possible, and to set and enforce boundaries that bring emotional strength instead of weakness.

Remember, it is not a sign of bad parenting to confront issues, set boundaries and use the word “no”. In fact it may save your child’s life at some point because they have learned the strength of having internal standards against the pressure of their peer group. Parents sometimes cave in because they want to become a friend to their child, instead of an authority source. Lisa Earle McLead, wrote about this process in her book “The Triangle of Truth” where she observes that, Childhood happiness has become the scorecard by which adults measure their success or failure as parents… Constantly striving to please your kids turns them into your boss. Their happiness becomes your performance review.” You are required to be the parent, and often that means setting the standard to bring strength, instead of being the buddy or pal.

Parent Coach Amy McCready from Raleigh, North Carolina is a national expert on the issues of breaking Entitlement Thinking. Here is her list as a reference point of what not to do if you want to see your children succeed in avoiding the entitlement trap. 
11 Ways to Raise a Child Who is Entitled and Rude
1.      Make sure your kids have access to all the latest iDevice’s anytime they want
2.      Do everything within your power to prevent your kids from feeling pain
3.      When things aren’t going your way, point to the shortcomings of other people
4.      Give them money whenever they ask for it
5.      Pay for as many enrichment activities, tutors, and the best sports teams you can afford
6.      Give your kids a break any time they ask to be excused from a task
7.      Refuse to consistently enforce bedtimes
8.      Confide in your kids as though they are your close friends
9.      Don’t insist kids write thank you notes
10.  Make sure they never have to do an entry-level or minimum wage job
11.  Above all, let them get out of doing any chores around the house

Do you see the absurdity of this type of parenting? While it sounds silly, there are millions of homes that operate under the mindset of protecting children from growing up by shielding them from taking on any type of adult responsibility. This doesn’t help a child – it only makes them weaker. Amy goes into this danger in her excellent book, “The Me, Me, Me Epidemic” where she says, “Entitlement isn’t just a problem in our homes; it’s a societal problem as well. Teachers and coaches report that students expect to get A’s for C effort and a starting position on the team just for showing up. When the test doesn’t go well, the “teacher doesn’t like me” or the “test was unfair.” Friendships and relationships suffer as kids with a “me, me, me” mentality lack empathy and a willingness to put others first. Employers struggle to hire teens and young adults with the people skills and work ethic to be successful. The bottom line is that entitled kids will one day grow into narcissistic adults, demanding spouses and high-maintenance employees. That’s certainly not what we want for our kids!”
She coaches and challenges parents to take bold action to break the pattern of entitlement thinking before it becomes epidemic. In traditional marriages, and especially blended families entitlement thinking shows up in a multitude of behaviors. Do any of these situations sound like what life in your home is like?

· You find yourself exasperated at your children’s demands but caving anyway.
· You’re exhausted keeping up with the house, but everyone’s too busy watching TV to help.
· You can’t make it through the grocery store without buying a treat.
· You’re frequently supplementing your kids’ allowance.
· You take responsibility for your kids by doing things for them that you know they should be able to do for themselves.
· You resort to bribes or rewards to get cooperation from your kids.
· You frequently rescue your kids by driving forgotten items to school or reminding them about their deadlines.
· Your child frequently takes issue with rules and expectations at school or in activities.
· Your child is quick to blame others for anything that goes wrong.
· Your child tries to manipulate others to get his way.
· Your child commonly sulks or pitches a fit when she doesn’t get her way.
· Your child often complains of being bored and wants to be entertained by you.

To learn more from Amy McCready and get free parenting tools, visit: www.PositiveParentingSolutions.com orwww.AmyMcCready.com

“Never do for a child what he can do for himself. A “dependent” child is a demanding child…Children become irresponsible only when we fail to give them opportunities to take on responsibility.” – Rudolf Dreikurs and Margaret Goldman
A significant part of success in the adult world is learning how to earn income based on effort, instead of on continual gifting where no effort or work on the part of the child is involved. Here are some essential truths to begin teaching your children to break this negative pattern and protect them from economic or financial hardship from not knowing how to earn and manage their finances wisely.

·         Money doesn’t come easily.
·         You need to have Compassion for others (developing world problems)
·         People work hard to earn money; it’s a necessary part of life for adults
·         If you want something, you need to work to earn it.
·         You are not entitled to things you haven’t earned.
·         Happiness does not come in having more money.
·         Responsibility for Actions: there are consequences and rewards for our financial behavior that can go on and create hardship for many years.

The disease of Entitlement Thinking is common in our culture, but devastating to relationships and even can block our spiritual connection to God. Listen to these words from Pastor Charles R. Swindoll, “I'm here today to warn you: I want you to watch out for the adversary. Guard yourself from any spirit of entitlement.” Or listen to this even more direct confrontation from Psychologist John Townsend, author of “The Entitlement Cure” who wrote; “While your child may be better in ability, she is no better intrinsically. In the eyes of God, she is no better than anyone else, as the Lord is no respecter of persons, (see Acts 10:34).  
So, what can a parent or grandparent do to break this dangerous process of Entitlement Thinking? There are five areas to develop and reinforce to move your child toward success instead of continually dependency on their parents. They are:

1. Attention – praise instead of compliment
“Instead of communicating "I love you, so let me make life easy for you," I decided that my message needed to be something more along these lines: "I love you. I believe in you. I know what you're capable of. So I'm going to make you work.” - Kay Wills Wyma

2. Affection, Gratitude and Affirmation

“What separates privilege from entitlement is gratitude.”  - BrenĂ© Brown

3. Acceptance – you matter to God and you matter to me
“Humility is simply accepting the reality of who God is and who you are.” – John Townsend
4. Authority – in God instead of setting yourself up as a “god”

“Legalism breeds a sense of entitlement that turns us into complainers.” - Tullian Tchividjian, in “Jesus + Nothing = Everything”

5. Accountability – responsible to authority and rules, especially those of Scripture
God expects us to spend time and energy carrying our loads of responsibility for family, finances and other challenges. That’s how life works. - John Townsend

When you are able to build on these 5 “A’s” in the life of your son or daughter, you will be completely on track to guide a child into becoming an adult, which will give them success in life, while making you one of the unusual parents who cared enough to guide their child on a different path than others, but one that guarantees greater success and happiness because it is built on effort and hard work. John Townsend described it this way on the television show “FOX and Friends” last week, where he said, “The Hard Way is the entitlement cure. It is a path of behaviors and attitudes that undo the negative effects of entitlement, whether in ourselves or in others.”
You have more power to change than you realize and when you begin to read, think and perhaps even reach out for some counseling or coaching you can see tremendous change as you watch an entitled child become an empowered child on the path toward adulthood. They may not thank you now as you implement boundaries to build strength, but as King Solomon wrote so long ago in Proverbs 31:28, “They will rise up and call you blessed.” You know you need to make some changes, so step up - because it’s time to get started.

About the Author –

Dwight Bain is a Nationally Certified Counselor, Certified Life Coach and Author who founded the Lifeworks Group 32 years ago. This group is one of the oldest Christian counseling centers in Florida and has helped over 15,000 families find hope, help and healing. Access over 850 free Blogs and YouTube training videos designed to solve stress now by giving you and those you love to find greater strength at www.LifeWorksGroup.org  

Wednesday, January 06, 2016

Twelve Tips to Eliminate Exhaustion in the New Year

By: Christine Hammond, LMHC

How much different would life be if exhaustion wasn’t a factor? It is normal to be physically overwhelmed from long hours at work, ungrateful children, overload of electronic stimulus, and tiresome relatives. But some exhaustion is much deeper.
It stems from unmet needs, expectations, ambitions, and hopes. It is compounded by tragedies, disappointments, rejections, and harsh realities. And it encompasses nearly every aspect of life without prejudice. So this year, instead of adding one more thing to an overburdened schedule, how about eliminating exhaustion? 
To make this task even more manageable, try focusing on just one item per month. Most habits are set within 30 days so incorporating a new concept each month can make this year considerably better.

1.       January: Plan. Start off the year on a good note by calendared all major events for the year. There are several very good on-line calendars and apps that can be viewed on a variety of devices. Some of them even include “To-Do” lists and invitations for other family members to join. Developing a pattern of placing all events on a calendar can prevent conflicts within a family unit. A good rule is: Whoever calendars an event first gets priority. This will encourage everyone to participate.
2.       February: Prepare. It is difficult to prepare for a crisis. However, each day should have a scheduled time to handle emergency events, so when they occur, it is easier to cram them into a schedule. Blocking off 30 minutes in the morning and late afternoon for family and work calamities helps with the last minute “Oh no, I forgot.” It is amazing how planning for unknown predicaments reduces the tension of them.
3.       March: Purge. Spring is the traditional time for cleaning out the closets.  This year, be intentional about eliminating anything that is not truly loved or valued. Clothes that have not been worn in a year should be given away to a charity. Items that are no longer useful or working should be thrown away. Removing the excess clutter from life allows it to be lived more simply.
4.       April: Rest. One of the most difficult things to do is to be intentional about taking time to rest. Our bodies naturally demand rest through sleep and our minds need it as well. Try setting aside a full 24 hour block of time for restful activities each week. It could be from 6pm one day to 6pm the next. Use this time to relax with friends, binge-watch a program, get a massage, or read a book. Do not use this time to clean, work, pay bills or argue. 
5.       May: Reset. Unmet expectations about family, work, friends, and community contribute greatly to exhaustion. This is the month to examine each hope, belief, or anticipation to see if it is realistic given this phase of life. Having a perfectly clean house might be a realistic expectation when there are one or two adult people living there but is likely unrealistic when there are children. Resetting these standards to more obtainable levels brings peace to a home environment.
6.       June: Recreate. This month, find time to expand creativity and return to activities done for fun. As a person ages, there is a temptation to be purposeful with each action. But hobbies completed just for enjoyment add significant value. Being creative and imaginative can expand a person’s cognitive abilities to think outside of the box. This frequently brings about clever and inventive problem solving solutions to other issues.
7.       July: Strategize. Typically this is the time for taking family vacations while the kids are out of school. So while enjoying this family time, begin the discussion about future vacation and holiday plans for the upcoming year. Be deliberate about making plans for family, work, school and community activities that incorporate the uniqueness of each member. This is the time to dream big.
8.       August: Support. A strong functional support system requires healthy boundaries with friends, family and work. Think of a boundary as skin. It is used to hold the insides of our bodies in place but also to keep out bad potential infections. Boundaries with people serve the same purpose. It keeps the healthy ones close and adds distance to the unhealthy. Evaluate the borders to see if perhaps some changes need to be made and then have the courage to make them.
9.       September: Stimulate. It takes time to establish new friendships. Be purposeful in seeking out relationships with people who are growing, challenging, calming, or exciting. Take a chance on opening up to someone new and look for positive reciprocal responses. So few are willing to take the first step in expanding a friendship, preferring it remain at a safe arms-length distance. Be different, make the first move.
10.   October: Advance. Once a year, old goals should be evaluated and new ones set. Don’t be like others who go through the motions of life without premeditation. Take a step forward this month and be bold in goal setting. Focus on one major goal for the year. Then take other long-term goals and break them up into smaller accomplishments which can be done over the next 12 months. Forward motion begins with one step at a time.
11.   November: Appreciate. This is the perfect month to be reflective and appreciative of the things that have gone well and the people surrounding. Take time to send a note of thanks to someone from the past. Be grateful for the gifts and random acts of kindness others have shown. Purposefully seek out opportunities to express gratitude to those who serve others. A grateful heart can soften harsh company.
12.   December: Activate. As the year concludes, take time to evaluate progress and select a focus for the New Year. Perhaps it is a word or phrase that will define a singular focus such as simplify, trustworthiness, patience, or kindness. Every year, choose a different virtue to concentrate on improving, just like this past year’s focus was on eliminating exhaustion. This will enhance perseverance and purpose in life.

Monday, November 30, 2015

Breaking Bad..Habits

By: Nate Webster, IMH

The term “Dry Drunk” was coined by AA (Alcoholics Anonymous) decades ago.  It is used to distinguish someone who is truly sober from someone who might be sober physically, but who is still a “drunk” mentally and emotionally. The term encapsulates the idea that even though someone’s dysfunctional behavior isn’t acting up, his or her heart remains unchanged and that ultimately it’s only a matter of time until he or she acts out again. Even though this term is applied mostly to addiction, the concept is applicable to most bad habits as well. How many of us have bad habits or dependencies we’re trying to stop, but we still just really want to do them?

Stopping a bad habit can feel like trying to stop a desire for breathing. You hold your breath, hoping that while you’re suffocating your body will suddenly stop needing oxygen, but eventually you just grow tired and frustrated and stop holding your breath! In my work as a counselor I have noticed that there are three patterns of behavior that make it hard for people to break bad habits: secrecy, idolization and dabbling.

Secrecy
·         Secrecy causes you to hide behind a mask, which often leads to stress that encourages your bad habit.
·         Secrecy gives your bad habit control over you, rather than you over your bad habit.
·         Secrecy isolates you from others, leaving you to deal with your habit and its residual effects alone without help or support.

Idolization
·         Idolization gives a bad habit more power and influence over your life than God.
·         You can become a slave to your bad habit when you idolize it.
·         Your bad habit becomes your source of comfort instead of God or other people.

Dabbling
·         Choosing to only dabble in your bad habit once in a while can feel like a good way to stop it, but actually only increases it. Each time you dabble, it renews your emotional, psychological and physical connection to your bad habit. 
·         Dabbling gives you a fake sense of management and self-control over your bad habit.
·         Dabbling more often leads to excuses rather ownership of a bad habit.

If you’re trying to stop a bad habit, but are running into some of these behaviors, try these solutions below. Also consider seeking out some good counseling. A counselor helps you understand what life experiences have contributed to your bad habits and can help you overcome them to lead a fuller, healthier life.        

Secrecy: Try being more honest about your bad habit with a few people you trust. You will become more of a master over your bad habit rather than a victim of your bad habit.

Idolization: Try drawing some biblically-based boundaries for your bad habit. For example: God still loves me no matter how many times I do my bad habit or God is more powerful than my bad habit, even though I’m still struggling with it.

Dabbling: Try treating your bad habit differently. Instead of it being a tank that just needs to let off some steam, treat it like a backpack that you put a rock into every time you dabble. Eventually your bad habit will break your back. 


For more counseling resources check out LifeWorksGroup.org.



Social Anxiety on the Rise: Are you affected?

By: Nate Webster, IMH

There’s a growing trend of social anxiety that is leaving many of us feeling lonely and disconnected. Brought on by things like social media, online dating and television, people find themselves more afraid of each other than ever before but also wanting relationships more than ever before. In other words, we’re afraid of relationships but are also dying of loneliness. Whether we realize it or not, we’ve all felt the ripples of social anxiety. If you’re a millennial you might be living with it. If you’re of an older generation, you might have been a victim of it.

Below is a list of a few common behaviors of modern social anxiety to help you gauge where you may be. A quick preface though - the below behaviors are not always caused by social anxiety, but are good indicators that you may be struggling with social anxiety.

Indicators of Social Anxiety:

·         People in general feel like a burden and a problem to avoid.
·         Talking to a stranger for any reason leaves you feeling guilty or regretful.
·         You talk with people more over electronic devices than face-to-face.
·         You often pretend to not notice those you walk past.
·         You often talk softly in public to prevent others around you from listening.
·         You save your feelings for when you get home, and rarely show them in public.
·         Personal space and personal transportation are often a non-negotiable need for you.
·         You feel like most people rarely understand you or are on your level.
·         There’s a time and place for relationships and they shouldn’t interrupt the rest of your life.
·         The moment you begin a conversation you’re already trying to figure out how to end it.

These aren’t absolutes of course, but general indicators of social anxiety. These behaviors can be debilitating and can act as barriers to joy and fulfillment in your life. Fortunately Social Anxiety doesn’t need to run your life. Below are some hopeful tips for dealing with social anxiety.

Tips for Improving Social Anxiety

·         Remember that too much comfort and safety isn’t always a good thing.
·         Practice not always being in control of social situations. Wonderful things can happen when you let them naturally occur.
·         Remember that you aren’t weak if you can’t figure out something on your own!
·         Don’t let others blame you for their feelings and don’t blame others for your feelings.
·         Tell yourself who you are before you let others tell you who you are.


If you identified with any of the above points, the best way to address them is through counseling. Counselors help you understand what life experiences have contributed to your unhealthy beliefs and help you build new beliefs that create different outcomes in your life. For counseling resources check out our website at LifeWorksGroup.org.

Thursday, October 01, 2015

Group Crisis Intervention Training

Did you know only those trained and certified in crisis response are allowed to work on the scene of a disaster? If a School Shooting, Suicide, Bombing, Hurricane, Tornado, Fire, Flood, Car Fatality, Co-worker Suicide, Terrorist Attack or Airline Crash happened in your community, only those with the right credentials can work at the scene. 

Are you equipped to help a group of people in your organization?  If you were at the scene of a community shooting or community disaster would you know what to do with a group of people who were devastated by the crisis? 

Would you have the right credential?

ICISF Group Crisis Certification 

October 22-23, 2015 (must attend 9am-5pm both days to achieve certification) 
Orlando Group Crisis Certification is only $119 (advance registration by Oct. 9th)

This 2-day certification course is required for all ICISF/Critical Incident team members in Law Enforcement, Fire Services, EMT, EAP, School Guidance or Hospital Chaplaincy work to give them the necessary training to get an organization in crisis back to a functioning level. It is being offered for the first time in Central Florida.

 Participants will learn (among other skills):
Fundamentals of Critical Incident Stress Management (CISM) 
Large & small group crisis intervention methods
Incident assessment
Strategic intervention planning
Risk reduction
Appropriate follow-up services and referrals after an incident
Continuing Education Information: 
14 Contact Hours, 1.4 General CEUs from University of Maryland/Baltimore Campus

This rapid crisis stabilization process is taught by Dwight Bain, a certified crisis response trainer who worked at Ground Zero after the terrorist attacks of 9/11 and has equipped thousands with psychological survival skills to use until emergency management teams arrive on the scene.  

Crisis events will come to Florida – will you be prepared to help or will you be a helpless bystander?
Space is limited. Register now!



ICISF Group Crisis Certification
Registration Form
October 22-23, 2015, 9:00 am - 5:00 pm daily
(must attend 9am-5pm both days to achieve certification)

ICISF Certified Instructor Dwight Bain
Training facility: Church on the Drive, 1914 Edgewater Dr., Orlando FL 32804
  
PLEASE PRINT your name clearly as you would like it to appear on your National Certification

Name:  __________________________________________________________

Address:  _______________________________________________________________                                 

Telephone: _______________________________________________________

E-mail:  ________________________________________________________________


____ $119.00 – early bird registration (by October 9th - a $30 savings!)
____ $149.00 - late registration (after October 9th if space is still available)
 ____ Group Discount -  4th person free with 3 paid registrations, ($149 value)

Names of 3 registered _____________________________________________________

Payment Options:
*   Make check payable to:
     The LifeWorks Group, 1850 Lee Road, Suite 250, Winter Park, FL  32789

*   Email this registration form with your credit card information to:
     Sola Thompson at info@lifeworksgroup.org    or  

*   Fax directly to:  407-647-8874

Credit card number_______________________________________________________

Expiration date ___________________ CVV code ________________

 Zip code for billing address of credit card _______________   



Refund and cancellation policy:
Full refund minus $25 processing fee if notice is given two weeks before workshop.