Tuesday, March 17, 2015

FREE 3 Hour CEU Presentation

“How to have that difficult conversation you’ve been avoiding with your family, coworkers, parents, partner or children.”

Presented by: Dwight Bain, LMHC, NCC, CLC

Objectives:

  1. Identify the most common family secrets and dysfunction to confront.
  2. Gain a strategic approach to confront secrets or addictions with confidence.
  3. Role Play a family confrontation without a conflict to achieve therapeutic goals.
  4. Discover when to challenge, when to confront, and when to refer for inpatient care.
  5. Identify the key elements necessary to re-write a family story.


Date:  Friday, March 20, 2015
 
Time:  9am – 12pm
Registration and breakfast begin at 8am
 
Location:  6601 Central Florida Parkway, Orlando FL 32821
Central Florida Behavioral Hospital tours will be available after presentation.
 

 
Email Rich Rodriguez by 3/16/15 to register.  Rich.Rodriguez@uhsinc.com

Class size is limited.

 

Central Florida Behavioral Hospital is an approved CEU provider by Florida Department of Health BAP#1030 for the Florida Board of Licensed Clinical Social Workers, Licensed Marriage & Family Therapists and Licensed Mental Health Counselors and the Florida Board of Nursing Provider # 50-11351 for Registered Nurses, Licensed Practical Nurses and ARNPs.  Florida Board of Psychology Provider #: 50-3120 Attendance to the entire program and completion of program evaluation required for contact hour credit.

Friday, March 06, 2015

10 Bad Marriage Communication Habits By: Christine Hammond, LMHC


How would you rate communication with your spouse? Are you a 10: interaction is perfect and both of you feel understood? Are you a 1: there is no exchange? Or are you a 5: there is some discussion but a lot of confusion?
Where ever your score (unless you are a perfect 10), your communication can be improved. The quickest way to move up the scale is to stop some bad communication habits.
  1. Lying – Even small lies have consequences and a pattern of lying breeds mistrust.
  2. Not listening – Thinking about what you are going to say instead of what is being said.
  3. Interrupting – Causes frustration and demonstrates a lack of respect.
  4. Getting distracted – Other things/people are more important than your spouse.
  5. Failing to prioritize – Produces a “Chicken Little” situation – “The sky is falling.”
  6. Taking things personally – Not all comments (direct or indirect) are about you.
  7. Assuming – This makes an “ass out of you and me”.
  8. Name calling / yelling – Borders on abusive or controlling tactics.
  9. Over-explaining – More is not better when it comes to explaining.
  10. Bringing up the past – Some things are better left in the past where they belong.
For optimal results, focus on your bad habits first before highlighting your spouse’s bad habits. Once you have made a noticeable improvement, it will be far easier to discuss your concerns with your spouse.

Thursday, March 05, 2015

Dating in the Millennial Era By: Emily Long

Flash back: You just got home from a date that you know went exceptionally well. There was a chemistry, the other person had just the right amount of everything you’re looking for. In the two days following you wait by the phone. After two days, if you haven’t heard from them, you start going through the notions of hurt, rejection, and confusion. Fast forward to the present: The time limit on the “call back” has drastically changed. With the evolution of technology, the “call back” has now turned into a “text back” and normally it’s within an hour of the person leaving. Something simple like “I had a great time tonight.” The conversation goes on for a little bit and you think you really have a connection with this person. Then the day comes, whether it be before or after your second date, that they disappear. Your life turns into a front-row magic show where you’re left wondering what happened. The psychological torture of the hurt, rejection, and confusion becomes more intense due to the fact that it takes 30 seconds to send a text message. Instead of jumping every time a phone rang loudly next to you like back in the day, you now jump every time your text message alert goes off. You never come to a full conclusion of what went wrong and eventually you learn to let it go. What other choice do you have? But then two months later, you get that text you’ve been waiting for. The spiral of confusion begins again.

The dating game has now changed into a giant psychological game of different scenarios that in the end, mostly all have the same result: unanswered questions. The only question that really should be pending is: Why do we put each other through all of this? It should be simple; if you don’t like someone you tell them (kindly) that you weren’t feeling it or into it. In their maturity, they should be understanding. Post Korean War, a code of conduct was put into effect following the exploitation of U.S. POWs through psychological torture. Although this does not compare to what these soldiers went through, it sparks an idea: Why can’t dating have a code of conduct? With dating now at your fingertips through websites such as Match and Christian Mingle, why not establish some guidelines to save each other from the ensuing confusion? Here are a few:
 

  1. What if I’m just not feeling it?
Yes, honesty can hurt, but what hurts more? Questioning what went wrong. Of course on the first date everyone knows how to glamorize themselves or will know if it just didn’t turn out right. Getting to know the person better might take a couple of dates, but if after that you’re just not into it, tell them. If you’re afraid of hurting their feelings, think about how you’ll actually be helping them more by not leading them on. If they can’t accept the fact that you don’t feel things were going the same way that they do, then that’s a red flag and it’s probably better that you walk away now.

 

  1. How long do I have to wait to text?
When is it an acceptable amount of time to text them? The answer is very simple: whenever you feel like it.  However, 10 missed calls and 20 text messages are NOT ok! Although you’re already thinking about them non-stop, if something truly significant comes into mind and you want to text them, it’s OK. This is also the time to use your intuition on the conversations. If the other person doesn’t respond with anything to keep the conversation going, don’t try to carry it alone. They may be busy so give them time to respond. If or when they do respond, take it as a positive sign, even if they’re not carrying on a back-to-back text conversation. If they don’t respond at all, take it as a sign to move on.

 

  1. What do I call them?
You’ve been on a couple dates, or more than that, and you haven’t brought up meeting friends or family yet (way too soon!). Then it happens- you run into someone they know or used to know and courtesy demands that they introduce you. You’re all ears as to how they’re going to refer to you. In this situation, it’s perfectly acceptable to say, “This is my date, (insert name here)”. There’s also the option of being introduced by your first name with a simple explanation of what you’re doing. For example: “This is (insert name here) we’re going to see the new movie that just came out.” The friend you ran into will most likely not push it any further. The questions will come later time when you’re not there.

 

  1. What do I call us?
If you’ve made it anywhere close to the month dating mark, this question is on your mind. You are constantly questioning how they view you, and wondering if they’re questioning how you view them. Suddenly you’re keyed into anything you think would be a subtle hint as to how the relationship is progressing. If things are clearly going great, don’t be afraid to ask at this point where the relationship is headed, but leave it at that. The response to this question should simply affirm that you’re not wasting your time with this person. Do not pressure them to take it to the next level or it will make them distance themselves from you. 

 

  1. Social media
Just received a promotion? Immediate Facebook status update! Showing off your new pair of sunglasses? Instagram #selfie! Sleeping through an alarm clock made you late for work? Twitter update! It’s 2015, your whole life is on the internet, so why would you not post about your new relationship/potential relationship (depending on the conversation you had from #4)? You might really like this person and like where things are going, but consider social media as another step in the dating process. Would you introduce them to your parents after the first date? If you answered no (and hopefully you did), then understand it’s almost the same idea. Take your time and enjoy what a relationship is supposed to be about: two people getting to know each other. It’s an exciting feeling to like someone new and want to show them off to the world. The most important people that need to know most likely do at this point anyway, so don’t focus on letting all of your old high school friends know. Relationships build a better foundation when you establish yourselves in each others’ lives than on Facebook.

 
The most important thing while entering the dating stage is to remember your individuality. Everyone you date isn’t going to be “the one”, they might be one of 50 more to come on the path to finding your match. Enjoy the experience of each person you encounter and remember that they have a heart just as you do. No matter what the outcome, each person you date will be a lesson. Whether you see the lesson immediately or further down the road, have fun and enjoy the adventure!

Helicopter Parenting By: Cara Griffin-Locker, IMH

Anyone who is a parent knows it is the hardest job out there.  Being in charge of another human is the most terrifying yet rewarding experience. From the time they are babies, parents are the sole provider for this tiny life that they have created.  Being able to care for and instruct one’s children is a blessing, yet in the same respect can be a trial.  Parents are the ones they look to for guidance, the ones in control and who have things under control.  Parents control what they eat, wear and do from an early age.  That is until they start realizing that they have the ability to say yes or no and start challenging their parents’ instructions and decision-making. 

The average child’s frontal lobe does not develop until they are 25 years old, so it makes perfect sense that parents would want to remain in control of the decision-making process. Ultimately they are trying to prevent their kids from making mistakes that may alter their lives in a harmful way. Or maybe they are trying to save them from making the same mistakes they made as teens or young adults. As the parents try to remain in control, the kids push away; the parents then try to pull them in closer and soon they feel the power and control they once had slip away as their babies become teens and young adults. When parents feel like they are losing control of their child, they become over-protective. What are the signs of a controlling and/or over-protective parent? If you can answer yes to any of these questions then you may be guilty as charged:

1.       Over-scrutinizing your child’s eating, appearance or social life

2.       Violating their privacy

3.       Pressuring them to be perfect

4.       Forbidding them to question or disagree with you

5.       Being intimidating, overpowering or manipulative

6.       Discouraging them from expressing anger, fear or sadness

7.       Discouraging them from being able to express their individualism

8.       Giving them  no say in any given matter

9.       Unwillingness to admit when you are wrong

10.   Being (or accused of being) unaware of the pain your behavior is causing to your child

If you answered yes to four or more of these questions then you are guilty of helicopter parenting. Here are some helpful hints for the almost controlling (for those in denial) to controlling parent.

·         Evaluate your helpfulness. Some of the controlling things people do actually stem from a desire to be helpful. Unfortunately, in reality, such well-intended actions don’t always end up being helpful. Sit down and honestly evaluate your helping. If an action is effectively causing positive change, keep going. If not, stop doing it.

·         Perfection equals imperfection. No one is perfect, not even you. The more you try to make your child perfect, the more they will fail.  Set them up for success by allowing them to be who they are.  They will be good at some things and not so good at others.  It’s okay - no two people are the same.

·         Practice giving up control. To break the habit of being controlling, you’ll need to get out of your comfort zone and practice giving up control. Slowly working towards letting them make their own decisions will help shape them into the capable confident adult they will need to be.

·         Manage your anxiety. The need to control things comes from an internal anxiety. Turn your attention to managing your anxiety, rather than everything and everyone around you. Learn everything you can about anxiety and dealing with anxious feelings.

·         Accept. You cannot put your child in a bubble to protect them from the world.  They will make mistakes and maybe even some that you yourself have made, but that is how we grow and learn.

·         Therapy. Most of the time we are the product of how we were raised; we are our parents.  Stepping into therapy can be rather difficult but vital if you want to heal from your own wounds and not project them onto your child.

The most important job of a parent is to guide their children in such a way that prepares them for life and all it has to offer.  It is also to illustrate respect, love and understanding through actions and words.  To do this effectively takes finding the right balance between being involved in the lives of one’s children and giving them enough space to grow and express their individuality in the various scenarios that life will throw at them.