What Are You Afraid of?
By: Christine Hammond
LMHC
A popular acronym for fear is false evidence
appearing real. However, for the person experiencing this emotion, the evidence
seems very realistic and eminent. These fears can paralyze a person for moments
or even a lifetime if left unattended. They are dominant and determinate
factors in daily decisions, thoughts, actions, behaviors, and other emotional
responses.
There are even categories of fear such as the deep-seeded,
driving, often subconscious, emotional forces that Freud identified. Then there
are also the more conscious fears born out of trauma that cause a person to
intentionally avoid people and circumstances in desperate effort not to repeat
the same mistake or relive the trauma. And there is there are the more obvious
daily fears such as phobias of spiders, driving, flying, or small spaces.
Each type of fear has its’ own level of
intensity. For instance, a deep-seeded fear of abandonment that is reinforced
though the desertion of a parent and/or the rejection of a partner can grow
substantiality. Left unattended, it absorbs additional fears and just like a
snowball rolling down a mountainside, it takes over every aspect of a person’s
life.
Identifying these fears is half of the battle.
Use this list to ascertain which fears are dominant so they can be properly
managed and even minimized. Place a number from 1-10 demonstrating the level of
intensity experienced with 1 being very mild to 10 being all consuming. Fear of:
_____ 1. Abandonment by a close
person.
_____ 2. Aging, getting older, or
appearing to get older.
_____ 3. Being inadequate in a
job, with person, or not being able to live up to a standard.
_____ 4. Not being good enough in
appearance, perfectionism, superiority, work habits, accomplishments, talents, and/or
intelligence.
_____ 5. Intimacy or having to be
close to someone.
_____ 6. Isolation and/or being
alone.
_____ 7. Losing control by showing
emotions, losing power, or influence.
_____ 8. Being wrong in front of
others or having doubts.
_____ 9. Failure at work or home.
_____ 10. Being
ignored in a relationship or by someone close.
_____ 11. Disappointing
a spouse, child, employer, and/or friend.
_____ 12. Happiness
because that means something bad will happen next.
_____ 13. Being
satisfied with a job well done because it might lead to lack of motivation.
_____ 14. Boredom
and having nothing to do.
_____ 15. Feeling
pain and/or anticipating it.
_____ 16. Rejection
by others resulting in a lack of trust, not being accepted, and/or being
misunderstood.
_____ 17.
Success
at work or home because it might lead to future failure.
_____ 18.
Becoming
or acting like a dysfunctional parent.
_____ 19. Never
reaching potential at work or home.
_____ 20. Feeling
guilty over mistakes.
_____ 21. Shame
being exposed and then having to deal with it.
_____ 22. Loss
of a job, money, relationships, and/or status.
_____ 23. Missing
something and being left out.
_____ 24. Death
and/or dying.
_____ 25. Living
life to its potential because something bad will happen.
_____ 26. Being
transparent, showing emotion or inner thoughts, and/or being vulnerable.
_____ 27. Disorder
because things must be in balance to live.
_____ 28. Abuse
due to past experiences as a victim.
_____ 29. Being
taken advantage of by others.
_____ 30. Making
the same mistake over again.
_____ 31. Getting
sick from illness, cancer, tumors and/or other life threatening diseases.
_____ 32. Losing
a battle or competition.
_____ 33. Losing
a person such as a kid going away to college.
_____ 34. Growing
up and having to take on adult responsibilities.
_____ 35. Being
held accountable, taking on responsibility, or admitting they did wrong.
_____ 36. Being
unloved and therefore they will never find someone to truly love them.
_____ 37. Being
disrespected, not taken seriously, being made fun of, and laughed at.
_____ 38. Being
discovered by someone who will figure them out and know their secrets.
_____ 39. Not
having enough money, stuff, power, control, or influence.
_____ 40. Needing
something and not having it.
_____ 41. Not
making a good impression.
_____ 42. Fear
of fear or anxiety.
_____ 43. Not
being in charge of self and/or others.
_____ 44. Forgiving
others and letting an issue go.
_____ 45. Forgetting
the past mistakes of self and/or others.
_____ 46. Looking
weak in front of others.
_____ 47. Admitting
to a problem.
_____ 48. Other’s
thoughts of them.
_____ 49. Being
inaccurate or lying.
_____ 50. Hurting
someone else.
_____ 51. Embarrassment
and/or humiliation by another person.
_____ 52. Making
too big of a deal out of a minor issue.
_____ 53. The
future and how things might turn out.
_____ 54. Missing
out on the fun.
_____ 55. Being
blamed for something they did not do.
_____ 56. Being
the victimized by others.
_____ 57. Physical
violence from others.
_____ 58. Going
crazy or losing it.
_____ 59. Being
treated as inferior.
_____ 60. Getting
confused and unclear.
_____ 61. Alienation
from friends and family.
_____ 62. Expressing
anger.
_____ 63. Being
lied to by others.
_____ 64. Being
cheated on by others.
_____ 65. Being
selfish and therefore neglects self-care.
_____ 66. Being
labeled by others.
_____ 67. Performing
in pubic.
_____ 68. Being
yelled at by others.
_____ 69. Being
intimidated and unable to handle self.
_____ 70. Throwing
things away and needing them in the future.
_____ 71. Acting
on unwanted impulses resulting in harm to self and/or others.
_____ 72. Blurting
out insulting remarks.
_____ 73. Looking
foolish in front of others.
_____ 74. Saying
something wrong to someone else.
_____ 75. Losing
things and not being able to find it.
While this might seem like an exhausting list,
identifying the fears can help in better assessing other conditions such as
anxiety, depression, OCD, and personality disorders. An excessive amount of
fears or levels of intensity should be discussed with a trained and licensed therapist.
To schedule an
appointment with Christine Hammond, please call our office at 407-647-7005.
