What is a Narcissist?
By: Christine Hammond, LMHC, NCC
The word
“Narcissist” has it’s origins in Greek Mythology. Around 8AD, there is a story
about a beautiful hunter named Narcissus who was exceptionally proud. In order
to expose his arrogance, Nemesis (a long standing rival and the origin of the
word nemesis) drew him to a pool of water.
Narcissus, upon seeing his reflection and not realizing it was his own
image, became so attracted to himself that he refused to leave. He later died
there. Thus, the name Narcissist describes a person who is fixated on
themselves.
Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) takes it
root from the same name. Here is a practical definition:
·
Believes they better and/or superior to others,
·
Fantasizes about their unlimited power, success,
and attractiveness,
·
Exaggerates their achievements and talents,
·
Expects constant praise and admiration from others,
·
Believes they are special and can only associate
with other special people,
·
Shows little to no empathy for others,
·
Expects others to go along with their ideas and
plans without question,
·
Takes advantage of others in exchange for a
personal gain,
·
Expresses disdain for those they feel are inferior
or beneath them,
·
Believes that others are jealous of them and their
success,
·
Pattern of troubled close relationships, especially
family members,
·
Sets unrealistic goals for others,
·
Lies to get what they want or think they deserve,
·
Is easily offended and hates to be embarrassed or
ignored,
·
Very charming when needed,
·
Can cut off relationships with others without
remorse,
·
Arrogance in nearly every environment, and
·
Believes it’s all about them.
Many movies have portrayed a
person with NPD but perhaps the funniest and most exaggerated example is of
Will Ferrell’s character Ron from “Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy”. Ron’s
admiration of his looks and talents despite his obvious flaws is characteristic
of narcissism. But narcissists are not just in movies, they are also in real
life.
Many professions even encourage
and reward a narcissistic mentality. After all, it takes an ambitious goal
setter to run corporations, a charming person to win an election, a very
confident (arrogant) person to perform surgery, and an embellisher to get press
coverage. Narcissists can be doctors, lawyers, managers, leaders, speakers,
athletes, pastors, professors, and business owners.
Some narcissists however have a
difficult time holding down a job because they constantly believe they are
smarter than their superiors. This can become problematic in a work place
environment where subordinates are expected to succumb to a supervisor’s
requests. The result is often a trail of jobs rarely lasting over a year.
Once the narcissism is revealed, spend some time understanding the
disorder. Learning to work with a narcissist is much easier than fighting with
it.
To schedule an
appointment with Christine Hammond, please call our office at 407-647-7005.