Showing posts from November, 2013

"Mean People Suck" : Bumper Sticker Wisdom & How it Applies to The Holidays

By Laura Hull, LMFT
Coping Coach

I remember driving down the road a few years ago, coming to a stop light behind a car that bore the bumper sticker that read “Mean People Suck.”I remember thinking “wow, I hope my kids can’t read that…how crude!” My secondary thought was “wow, that’s just so true. Mean people really do suck.” Though I probably would have chosen a less direct, less crude phrasing such as “Mean People Are An Unfortunate, Unpleasant Reality We Must Deal With.” I guess I could never make a living coming up with clever bumper stickers, but I can make a compelling blog argument for why mean people really do suck and you aren’t required to be around them just because it’s the holiday season.

In a perfect world, everyone would get along nicely, and treat each other with respect.But inevitably, we run across those people in our social circles, sometimes in our own gene pool, who are deeply miserable and seem to lack the capacity to be pleasant, civil or at least neutral.If the…

The Elephant That Comes for Thanksgiving: Family Secrets

By Matt W. Sandford, LMHC
Elephants will be dining at Thanksgiving dinners all over the country, won’t they? Our culture has used this concept of an elephant in the room when it comes to the things that are awkwardly not spoken about. Families are known to control what is spoken about and what are considered acceptable topics and are able to make it known what is off limits without ever putting it into words. And anyone who has experienced this type of thing, particularly in family situations, knows what that awkwardness feels like. If you’re the one whom some kind of wrong has been perpetrated against you feel strangled by the way your hurts have been invalidated and you just can’t acknowledge it. You are wounded again every time you are back with those people, as they continue to invalidate your hurts, communicating insensitivity, rejection, ostracism, betrayal, judgment, callousness and a lack of love. It could have been sexual or physical abuse or emotional abuse, it could have bee…

A Day That Changed Everything

By Laura Hull, LMFT

Coping Coach

I remember life before “the diagnosis.” It’s been over 15 years now, but I remember the cold chill that ran down my spine when the doctor told me that I had an autoimmune disease that would challenge my life going forward. Life changed that day. It was day one of a journey in the re-defining of “me.” Priorities changed, perspective changed, and I found out quickly that the volume of stress, much of it self inflicted, that I had allowed in my life up to that point had contributed, as least in part, to the situation I found myself in….it cost me something in terms of my health. I hope what I will share challenge you to consider the risk and potential consequences of unrecognized/unmanaged stress.

I counsel people to consider the consequences of stress on both their physical health and emotional health.While no one can avoid stress completely, I think most of us, at times, blindly sign on for things that introduce more stress into our lives than is absol…

Stress Solutions for Busy Families

By Dwight Bain Feeling Stressed Out? You are not alone. In fact, families are more stressed, more pressured and more exhausted than ever before. The problem is that stress usually brings out the worst in our lives, making already complex situations overwhelming or worse, shouting matches to prove who is ‘right.’ Is there a better way? I believe there is and it involves moving from focusing on the stress, (or source of the stress), to focus on managing it successfully. Here are some rapid strategies to use to make your home a place of happy memories and peace, instead of a panic filled environment where everyone is ducking for cover. 1.Speak up instead of Stuff it. Often we follow the simplistic advice of Thumper’s father in the Disney film, “Bambi” who has the classic line, “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say nothing at all.” However, remember this was a young rabbit quoting his cartoon rabbit father. Not the best source of advice. Better is to Speak up when you …

Has Your Sex Life Changed After Years of Marriage?

By: Christine Hammond, LMHC
Has your sex life changed after years of marriage?Are you struggling with mismatched sex drives?Sometimes the solution is right in front of you.
Take a moment go over to lamp and unplug the cord from the electrical outlet.Does the light go off?Of course it does, now plug it back in.The energy created between the connection of the outlet and the plug causes the light to go back on.The outlet by itself cannot cause the light to go on any more than the plug by itself.Both parts are needed to generate the electrical current.
The plug fills an opening in the outlet just as the outlet receives the plug.Sex works in the same manner: a husband fills his wife just as the wife receives her husband.The connection between the two generates powerful energy and excitement.But this energy and excitement is not just reserved for sex, it can be generated in everyday life as well.By focusing on your own role of either filling or receiving, you can generate greater sexual desire…