Doggone Tired of Worrying About Money? Here's 4 Things You Can Do
By Laura Hull, LMFT
Coping Coach
Disillusioned? Disgruntled? Doggone tired of worrying about
financial issues, both of a personal nature and for the country as a
whole? You are not alone…. There’s a
choir of worrying handwringers waiting to join hands with you, while singing of
the plight of “Gina and Tommy” in a verse of “Living on a Prayer” (80’s hair
and all). As much as songwriters like to
write songs about the romantic notion of “all you need is love” and “we’ll live
on love”, the rest of us who live in the real world know all too well about the
financial pain many are experiencing and the worry and fear that go along with
it.
A government shutdown created by the bickering of those some
would argue are fat cat politicians does not conjure up positive feelings or
hopeful sentiment from a large population of people who are struggling
financially in their day to day lives.
While 800,000 government workers are seeing their pay cut or eliminated,
the lawmakers in DC are still drawing their rather healthy incomes. This can create bitterness and resentment for
those who are living paycheck to paycheck, and in some cases losing benefits
that helped sustain their lives.
Even for those not directly impacted by the government
shutdown, the long term economic woes in this country have landed many families
in financial binds that are a breeding ground for stress and/or fear and its
negative consequences. Many are
unemployed or underemployed, with no foreseeable changes in sight that would
address this hardship. It’s hard to stay
positive and focus on the good in life when things feel dire for an extended
period of time.
It’s admittedly hard to watch someone we care about struggle
with financial issues and the fear and uncertainty that goes along with them. Telling someone “don’t worry…it will all be
better eventually” when he/she doesn’t know how he/she will put food on the
table is a bit like pitching someone a rock and telling him to make stone
soup….you, while well intentioned in trying to bestow a ray of sunshine, might
find yourself clobbered with your stone soup rock. Be sensitive to others emotional struggles
and their sensitivities to their
struggles. Don’t offer half-hearted sentiments/solutions
that can come across as lightweight or contrived. People pick up on that
quickly, and they really don’t appreciate it very much. Want to help?
Listen. Just listen without being
dismissive of their fears. Offer sincere
compassion. People aren’t always looking
for us to “fix their problems”.
Sometimes people just want to vent.
Sometimes people just want to be heard.
I am not suggesting that you allow yourself to become someone’s verbal
punching bag or puke bucket every time said person wants to lash out or spew
his woes of life in your direction.
Being present and supportive for those we care about is important, but
we can’t allow their stresses to become ours in a way that has negative
consequences in our own lives.
If you are struggling with the stresses of financial
hardship, and if fear of the future is keeping you up at night, creating
heightened anxiety, there are things you can do to take back some sense of
control in the situation.
1. Take every
opportunity to network with people. Get
out of the house and interact with others.
If you are looking for a new job, make some new connections. You never know when the person sitting next
to you at the PTA meeting or at a volunteer situation may be in a position to
help you connect with your next employment opportunity. Let others know your situation and ask them
to keep you in mind if they hear of opportunities that might be a good fit for
you. Do not let pride keep you from
projecting an honest picture of your situation to others.
2. Control your
stress and anxiety by taking care of yourself.
Rest. DO NOT sit up until 3 am
doing social media junk. If you are
having trouble sleeping over an extended period of time, seek help in
addressing this. Eat right. Exercise regularly, particularly when feeling
depressed or anxious. Moderate to
rigorous exercise for as little as 30 minutes has shown to boost the release of
endorphins in the brain, which stave off depression and enhances feelings of
wellbeing. Not feeling motivated? Make a promise to yourself to do it
anyway. It helps. Taking care of you will reduce the likelihood
of becoming both physically and emotionally ill. Becoming sick is the last thing that’s needed
at a time like this.
3. Trim back expenses. Find ways to trim monies out of your
budget. You may say, “I’ve already cut
out all the extras and I still can’t make it work.” If you really
have cut out the $4.00 cup of fru fru coffee, and scaled back on the extras,
then it may be time to seek financial counseling. There are many organizations that help people
learn to live on a new/reduced budget.
Sometimes having a new set of eyes on your situation can bring
suggestions you have not considered before.
It’s worth trying. Many people
have obtained their “financial freedom” by taking the advice of financial
counselors.
4. Pray. This should
be the thing we do first and the most anytime we are struggling with anything
in our lives. Prayer is comforting. It is so wonderful to turn over our worries and
fears to God. I can assure you that He
is not going to drop a pot of money
in your lap as soon as you say “Amen”.
But there’s a lot of power in prayer.
God hears us and loves us. He does and will take care of all our needs, in His time and in His way.
Always keep in mind that in the long run, all situations are
fluid, even if it doesn’t feel like it in the present. Nothing stays the same. Just because things are tough now, and maybe
have been tough for a long time, doesn’t mean it will stay tough. As long as we are doing the things we can do to help ourselves, we need to
live and function under the assumption that things will get better eventually,
because they often do. No one can
predict the future, but it makes sense to live and move forward with the belief
that the future hold good things. Why believe anything
else? J