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Showing posts from December, 2012

Beating the Blues of a Deployed Spouse

Brian M. Murray, MS, IMH Having a spouse or loved one who is deployed either in the military, as a missionary for a church or on assignment with company related business then chances are at some point the blues will kick in missing that other person. For the person who is deployed or on assignment the trip is often like an adventure staying busy and focused on the task at hand. Adjusting to other cultures and travel become time consuming. For the person at home life goes on as usual minus the spouse. After a little bit of time the at home spouse begins to feel the void and time missed spent with the other person. This is often when the blues kick in really missing them being a part of their everyday life. Deployed spouse blues is similar to depression in how it is handled. Isolating and spending too much time alone leads to similar symptoms of depression. It is different however as the blues are just that, feeling down by longing for what is missing. Depression comes wi

Top Ten Reasons Why Familiies With Mental Illness Issues Avoid Counseling

By Matt W Sandford People don’t always do what’s best. Actually, in the grand scheme, probably most of us would, if we could look back with objectivity, need to acknowledge that many of our choices were full of self interest and didn’t work out as we hoped nor satisfied our long term goals. But when it comes to mental illness in our family, there’s more at stake than our own comfort or the comfort of our loved one, isn’t there? There could be a lot of motivations behind someone’s choice to not pursue mental health services for a loved one. I am going to offer ten “thinking traps” or ways folks may get hung up and so avoid doing what is needed, in no special order.   1.       “What Will People Think” Many people still shy away from getting help through counseling, seeing it as stigmatizing or embarrassing to the person and the family that raised that person, as if having mental illness means that someone must have done something wrong. They chose to hold people’s opinions in

Could My Child Become a Violent Shooter?

By Chris Hammond Yes, no and maybe.   Remember the Hulk?   A normal looking man who turn into a green monster in a matter of seconds.   As a man he seems kind, understanding, logical, sympathetic, and systematic but given the right opportunity, he becomes unreasonable, angry, aggressive, spontaneous, and violent.   In a very simplistic way, this illustration clearly describes what happens to a violent shooter.   Yes, there are personality profiles, addictions, disorders, environments, and relationships that all contribute to the likelihood that a person will become a shooter but the bottom line is there is still a willingness to become the monster that lurks deep inside. Who does this happen to?   Be honest for a second and recall your last monster like appearance.   Were you ranting and raving about something meaningless, were you throwing something across the room, were you crying uncontrollably, or were you wishing harm on someone?   If you can honestly assess your own

Mental Health & Accepting It's Time to get Help for Your Child

Brian M Murray, MS, IMH “If there is anything that we wish to change in the child, we should first examine it and see whether it is not something that could better be changed in ourselves.” ― C.G. Jung A child in an elementary school is behaving differently from the others; not only in his behavior but also that he says things that children in the 4 th grade usually do not talk about. He wants to bring harm to others. This harm described as burning or hitting others. When he is questioned by school administrators he just laughs and does not answer the question. The teacher is always calling the school staff as the child bullies others and will not behave in class or work on assignments. The school calls the parents; a meeting is scheduled with a school psychologist and testing confirms a diagnosis. The parents are called for a special meeting with school administrators, the psychologist and the school advises the parents to get help outside of school to help with the tr

How to Cope After a Community Disaster

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Calm after Crisis - Understanding the Emotional Warning Signs & Trauma Symptoms After a Community Terrorist Attack By Dwight Bain A community crisis, ( like the Boston Marathon Bombing), can terrorize an entire community in just a few minutes, while the recovery process to rebuild from a major critical incident may take weeks or months to sort through. The more you know about how to survive and rebuild after the crisis, the faster you can take positive action to get your personal and professional life back on track. Since community crisis events like extreme acts of violence, school shootings or terrorism are unpredictable it requires a different course of action from natural disasters like hurricanes, tornadoes, earthquakes, fires and floods. What can you do right now to cope with the psychological impact of a major community crisis? Dealing directly with your emotions will reduce the tensi

Shyness, Social Phobia & The Introverted Personality Type - Sorting Them Out

By Matt W Sandford, LMHC Many folks have just always been shy. They’ve always felt some degree of awkwardness and nervousness in social situations and in some ways have held themselves back, were reserved. And most of us shy folk struggle with this reticence and have deeply wished we could change this aspect of ourselves. When you don’t like something about yourself, you soon turn to believing that that problematic area is something that is wrong, either something to be ‘fixed’ in order to be ‘normal’, or worse, something that cannot be fixed. It seems to me that a lot of folks end up confused about the meaning of their shyness and how to address it. Therefore, I believe it can be helpful to define some of the differences between shyness, social phobia, or social anxiety disorder, and the aspect of personality called introversion. When people feel shy they are experiencing some discomfort concerning their perception of how they will be thought of by others, mostly with f

Why the 'Whys' Don't Matter

By: Laura Hull, LMFT     Newtown .   Aurora .   Columbine.   Benghazi . New York City .   The mere mention of these places and the events associated with them provoke a visceral response in many.   Columbine was almost a generation ago, yet it is a memory that awakens when senseless school violence becomes national news.   Ten years of time was erased and fresh pain surfaced for many when the decade anniversary of 9/11 was commemorated a few years ago.   There are some events that are just so horrific; it is nearly impossible to comprehend on so many levels.   Newtown was supposed to be safe.   Six-year-old children are not supposed to die.     From the shock and horror that emerged following the murder of twenty first grade students and six adult school employees, came the questions in the minds of so many, “How did this happen?”   And more to the point “Why did this happen”?   The police and investigators have now shifted into the mode of trying to make sense of som