Below The Surface Of Singleness On Valentine’s Day

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By Megan Muñoz, IMH



Valentine’s Day… Just hearing these two words can set off a number of different emotions and thoughts from excitement and anticipation to sadness and frustration. How can these two little words have so much influence on our emotions? It’s just another holiday, right? Designed by the card companies to guilt people into spending money and time. But if we take a deeper look, we discover that in similar ways to other holidays whose focus is primarily on relationships, Valentine’s Day can be a painful reminder of how we fall short of the projected romantic ideal.

Our first task is to wade through the cleverly designed advertisements, designed to make us feel that nothing short of the perfect Valentine’s Day dinner and gift will do. We can acknowledge that monetary expressions do not equal the weight of our love and not having a significant other on this holiday is not a reflection of our value and lovability. But once we’ve waded through the practical knowledge, our next step is to look a little deeper.

Although we acknowledge that commercialized holidays are really only after our business, we must also realize that the reason they work so well is because they are coaxing out a very real and worthy desire that we share with every other human being - the desire to be connected to another and to be desirable to that person because they find in us the worthiness of being loved. It’s from this place that we must start to work into a better understanding of what we really need and what we can do about it in the midst of a holiday that has dragged it out of us.

The reality is that we are not more or less lonely or in love on a regular Wednesday than we are on Valentine’s Day. But the saturation of images, messages and expectations projected by the media and culture is like putting a large magnifying glass on the places inside of us that long for connection.

So what can we do to re-focus our attention on Valentine's Day?

  • Have dinner with a group of friends. Go out to dinner or fix a meal at home with people you enjoy. Play a game or talk about your worst/best Valentine’s Day experiences.
  • Write a Valentine’s Day card to a friend or family member who has been a meaningful part of your life. Sometimes it is difficult to see those around you who do love you well when we are focused on those who do not.
  • Find a large group activity taking place in your area on Valentine’s Day and go meet new people.

To schedule an appointment with Megan Muñoz,
Please call our office at 407-647-7005.

www.lifeworksgroup.org

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