The Lifeworks Group, Inc.

By: Brian Murray, LMHC “Shame is a soul eating emotion.” ― C.G. Jung Guilt and shame are a dynamic duo often found in the lives of many people. It can be experienced on many levels and often comes with the price of our overall mental well-being. There is a distinct difference between the two and often people become confused about what they are experiencing. Guilt is something that is experienced in the present. Often a person does something that may cause a feeling or regret overdoing it, feels guilty and then decides on how to proceed by either attempting to right a wrong or coming to the conclusion that their behavior is justified and drop the guilt and move on. Shame is guilt for doing, or not doing, something and then harboring that guilt over time. What happens when a person carries shame is there is something tugging at them inside to correct a situation. This internal pull begins to infiltrate every part of the person and over time it begins to cause other prob...

 By Nate Webster, LMHC             Understanding the difference between love and infatuation is important. The two get confused on a regular basis, but have very different definitions. There are three differences between love and infatuation. Love is about mutually giving, infatuation is about individualistically receiving             Infatuation is about getting what you want out of the relationship and usually results in turning the other person into an object. A kind of romantic, emotional vending machine, where you want them to give you what you want. You want them to say what you want to hear. You want them to feel the way you want them to feel about you.   Infatuation generally turns someone into a product, something to be used to get what the person desires. People who are infatuated often have a fantasy in their head and they make the other...

By Megan Muñoz, IMH Every relationship struggles with expectations, whether it is an expectation that is unspoken, unmet or out of our present awareness. Underneath the surface of frustration, sadness and hurt is an expectation that was not met.  Another way to think of an expectation is as a belief, and a belief that drives an expectation can be positive or negative. When we expect something to go wrong, it is because we have an internal belief that wrong is likely to happen. If we expect something to go well, it is because our internal thoughts are tied to the belief that what we are about to experience will go well.  The beliefs that drive our expectations are also tied to our past experiences that have shaped those beliefs. We are not always aware of our internal expectations because sometimes we are not consciously aware of what we believe about an approaching event or situation. Valentine’s Day is a day loaded with internal and external expectations. F...

 By Nate Webster, LMHC               My Aunt is an architect in British Columbia. She builds beautiful little cottages on the islands off the west coast around Vancouver Island. I once went on a road trip with her after I graduated high school and spent the whole summer picking her brain about architecture and interior design. A few years later I became a mental health counselor and found myself using architecture and interior design as a metaphor for how romantic relationships work. Interior design and architecture can teach us a lot about our romantic relationships. Let's look at the different things they can teach us.             The TV in the bedroom: TVs in the bedroom are a pretty popular amenity that people design their bedrooms to include. But they also act as a great representation for some of the issues that can arise in a relationship. ...

By Megan Muñoz, IMH Valentine’s Day… Just hearing these two words can set off a number of different emotions and thoughts from excitement and anticipation to sadness and frustration. How can these two little words have so much influence on our emotions? It’s just another holiday, right? Designed by the card companies to guilt people into spending money and time. But if we take a deeper look, we discover that in similar ways to other holidays whose focus is primarily on relationships, Valentine’s Day can be a painful reminder of how we fall short of the projected romantic ideal. Our first task is to wade through the cleverly designed advertisements, designed to make us feel that nothing short of the perfect Valentine’s Day dinner and  gift will do. We can acknowledge that monetary expressions do not equal the weight of our love and not having a significant other on this holiday is not a reflection of our value and lovability. But once we’ve waded through the ...