The Lifeworks Group, Inc.

By: Christine Hammond, LMHC The first marriage ended in divorce. The second one is going to be different. But how can a person be sure that they are not making another mistake of a different caliber? This is a checklist that I use with clients during premarital counseling. It has been developed over the last 15 years spent counseling thousands of couples prior to marriage. Ask clients to look through the following checklist and check all that apply. _____ 1.    Are there frequent arguments over nothing with little resolution? _____ 2.   Do you or your partner use biting sarcasm to confront issues? _____ 3.   Are you staying in the relationship out of fear or worry? _____ 4.   Do you have few areas of common interest? _____ 5.   Are you or is your partner overly dependent on parents or children? _____ 6.   Are there any signs of physical, sexual, verbal, emotional, mental, spiritual, or financial abuse both present and in the past...

By Chris Hammond How do I know if this person is “the one”? Can I live with them for the rest of my life? Are their behaviors a deal breaker or a bump in the road? If you are in the process of asking yourself these questions, then taking time to evaluate the situation may be in order. Premarital counseling with a pastor or licensed professional can be useful, but in the meantime look through the following checklist for your own self-evaluation. 1. Are there frequent arguments over nothing? 2. Do you or your partner use biting sarcasm to confront issues? 3. Are you staying in the relationship out of fear? 4. Do you have few areas of common interest? 5. Are either you or your partner overly dependent on your parents? 6. Is there any sign of physical, sexual, or verbal abuse? 7. Do you avoid discussing sensitive topics to prevent an argument or because you are afraid of their reaction? 8. Does your partner frequently complain about unreal aches and pains? 9. Does your partner make excuse...

By Dwight Bain, Nationally Certified Counselor & Certified Life Coach Why do so many people lose love and sex while losing their marriage? Research shows many different factors that lead to relationship failure but let’s make it personal and explore some hidden reasons that move couples from ‘happy ever after’ to over to shattered dreams and hatred. Jessica and Phillip have been dating six months. They spend long nights together talking about how good things are for them. It feels like they have shared their entire life’s history with each other, so Phillip eventually asks Jessica to marry him. They feel so “in love”, that she instantly says “yes”! Soon they are off to see their pastor for premarital counseling. They discuss finances, children, careers, houses, and in-laws as they map out what it would be like as they begin their lifetime together. One summer day they stand before God and their friends in a little church to say “I do”. Ironically, less than a year later they were i...

by Dwight Bain, Nationally Certified Counselor & Certified Family Law Mediator Have you ever wondered why so many couples are crazy in love and can't wait to get together, and then drive each other crazy and can't wait to split up? I sure have and developed some key factors to use in tracking marital connection or marital conflict. Below are the most common factors that can lead to marital crisis. As you read through this list, think about your relationship or perhaps the relationship of your friends and co-workers. Get real- get honest because the future success and fulfillment of your marriage is at stake. Once you identify key areas that need attention then you can focus on the importance of working through those issues now so you can find peace and intimate connection instead of the risk of growing distance which can lead to a miserable life or even divorce. Financial & Career -Conflict over spending issues (unresolved spending conflict can linger for years) -Exce...

Lust makes us think that having some person we don’t presently have would make us happier. Often that person is simply a figment of our imagination. Even if the person is real, we often attach character traits to him or her that are not real. Usually our lust focuses on sexual involvement. We imagine someone who is terribly fond of us and who prefers our presence and intimacy over anyone else’s. We imagine that if we had such a person to hold in our arms, it would be exciting and wonderfully fulfilling. This is a terrible deception, for it’s a self-centered form of love and we ignore the devastating consequences of living out our imaginations. - Dr. Gary Smalley Statistically only 3% of married men marry their affair partners and if they do only 3% of these marriages work. "Unfortunately, once the affair becomes a marriage, the same traits the man brought with him to his first marriage, he brings with him to the second. He likely blames his wife for where he’s at, and he’ll likely...