The Lifeworks Group, Inc.

By Christine Hammond, MS, LMHC After watching her best friend self-destruct yet again, Emily could no longer stay silent. Their 5-year friendship was on the verge of ending with Emily heading in a positive direction and her best friend destroying her life. Emily confronted her bestie a couple of months ago addressing the excessive drinking, illegal use of pain pills, and her rapidly deteriorating work ethic. But Emily was met with high resistance, so she backed off. Now, Emily was ready to try a different approach in hopes their friendship could last. But what does that look like? How does a person change for the better? One of the roles of a friend is to encourage healthy change. In psychology, the concept of unconditional positive regard is regarded as an effective method of transformation. The basic principle lies in accepting and supporting a person without judgment regardless of what they say or do. This provides an environment of trust, understanding, and...

By: Christine Hammond, LMHC The word “dependent” is the perfect descriptive word to summarize the personality trait.   Dependents are dependent on others for all areas of emotional support and affirmation and are usually dependent on one person in particular such as a spouse or parent.   Often their dependence is in direct contrast to the person they are dependent on who is very much independent.   Dependents as a general rule of thumb don’t like others to be dependent on them but are comfortable being dependent on others. So what is Dependent?   Well, according to the new DSM-V, dependent is no longer a personality disorder in and of itself rather it is now classified under Personality Disorder Trait Specified (PDTS).   This means that there was not enough research to properly classify dependents as having a named personality disorder but there is evidence enough that it does exist.   So the traits of dependent are still classifiable and quali...

By Laura Hull, LMFT Coping Coach   When we think of or speak of divorce, most often we are talking in terms of firing a spouse.   The dissolution of a marriage is heartbreaking, as assumingly former best friends are choosing to walk away from a life commitment to each other.   As a Marriage and Family Therapist, I could write a lengthy blog describing the ripple effect of divorce and the fact that it changes the fabric of that person’s life forever.   But you could read that same type of blog in many places on the Internet.   I want to challenge you to consider a different kind of divorce…when a long term, close friendship ends.    Of course, a friendship divorce is not a legal act, in the way that a divorce ends a legal marriage contract.   But an emotional divorce is a parting of ways between two people who were once very bonded and the feeling of loss can be profound.   If we accept the statistics as true, that 50% of...

By: Christine Hammond, LMHC I’ll never forget the first time that my husband and I suggested to our kids that they go away to a summer camp for a week.   As parents, we had discussed the benefits of a good summer camp program and spoken with many of our friends who recommended several camps around the country.   We took great pride in presenting the idea with enthusiasm to our kids.   Their response shocked us; instead of being excited they were mortified.   By their reaction, you would have thought that we were sending them away to a chain gang to be beaten and tortured. So we gave them a year to get used to the idea and talk to some of their friends who already went to summer camp. By the next year they were a bit more open to the idea but still openly told us that we were “abandoning” them.   Fast forward to the day we picked them up from the summer camp and the unanimous reaction was “how come we only came for a week? I want to come for a month!...

By Chris Hammond Have you ever Googled “eliminate stress” only to find a long list of impossible tasks from people who obviously don’t have a job and aren’t married with kids?   My personal favorite ideas were to quit work (really? because last time I checked you work to earn money to care for your family and quitting work would add considerable stress to your life), have an open schedule (this is laughable as my schedule is almost entirely dictated by my kids’ activities), and avoid difficult people (yes, that is really possible when you work with difficult people all day long).   You already know that you need to reduce the stress in your life but having ridiculous suggestions about how to go about it only increases stress and gives you the impression that reducing stress in your very busy life is impossible.   It’s not. Here are a few suggestions that have been tested and proven to be effective by very busy people like you. 1.     ...

Brian M Murray, MS, IMH Relationships are all around us and they exist whether it is marriage, friendships, in-laws and coworkers and chances are there will be challenging times when we try to find ways to get along with each other. At some point there will be conflict within a relationship but it does not always have to be this way. When relationships become dysfunctional, finding ways to navigate through those can be challenging. Being around others who are healthy can bring value and joy to life. Lifetime friends and special people we identify with in our families can generate feelings of appreciation of both what we receive and what we are able to give. Healthy relationships are built on give and take and not all take and not all give. While there are numerous ways to evaluate a relationship, here are 5 ways that can help enhance relationships. 1.       Do you trust each other? Let’s face it, if there is no trust in any relationship then develop...

By Chris Hammond, MS, IMH I don’t know about you, but every year I struggle with finding the perfect gift for my family and friends. It is almost a mission to seek out the right gift balancing between the person’s needs, wants, and talents. When the right gift is discovered it is pure joy to watch them open it and it is in moments like that when it is truly better to give then to receive. This year as finances have become tighter, I find myself less interested in all of the bargains, deals, extra shopping hours and countless searches on the internet. Rather it has become a time of self reflection onto the meaning of Christmas rather than the gift giving of Christmas. When I recall the best gifts I have received during the year, it is the rare moment when a friend tells me they have been praying for me without my prompting and without any knowledge of my present circumstances. Those moments are precious to me and I can remember every one of them with great clarity far better th...