The Lifeworks Group, Inc.

By Christine Hammond You are having an affair.   This wasn’t intention, you didn’t even see it coming but here you are anyway in    the middle of an affair.   It started off easily and innocently with a glance when you noticed the other person and got noticed back; it felt good to have someone look at you like that way again.   The other person took an interest in you, in your problems, in your frustrations, and in your successes without judgment, resentment, or selfishness.   It began with an occasional face-to-face conversation then the conversation became more private through texting and emails.   You found yourself looking for opportunities to meet and to touch casually noticing their smell, their look, and their eyes longing for the next meeting. Finally it happened, the connection that began as emotional became physical.   It seemed so natural, so comfortable, and so normal that you hardly noticed something was wrong.   But...

By Chris Hammond, MS Our lives seem to have seasons. For a time being my husband and I were in a season of graduations, then marriages, then kids, and now we are in a season of divorces. I used to laugh at the fifty percent of all marriages end in divorce statistic smugly thinking that my friends would not be in that category, but now reality has set into my life. Fifty percent of marriages ending in divorce is a conservative number among my friends. Most of the stories are similar in that they began with an emotional affair on the part of one spouse and then ended with a physical affair. In some cases the affairs did not last but in many of the cases both parties divorce and then remarry. As a friend to both spouses and unfortunately sometimes even a friend to the “other one”, the boundaries of friendship seem to become strained no matter how much like Switzerland I attempt to become. Having learned from many past mistakes, here are a few suggestions as to how to handle learning...

Restoring a Marriage Ravaged by Infidelity By: Aaron Welch, LMHC, NCC, CSOTS Carrie Underwood, former American Idol winner and now-famous country singer made a fortune off her hit, “Before He Cheats”, describing her violent and destructive reaction to discovering her man at a bar with another woman. She speculates about how he is wooing this other woman while she, herself, slashes his truck tires, busts out his headlights, and basically destroys his prized pickup. Apparently, this song struck a chord with America. The song rocked the music charts, stayed #1 for 5 weeks, and won the People’s Choice award in 2007 for “favorite country music song”. Infidelity in marriage has always been a major problem. In ancient days and in some cultures it was accepted as the norm….even expected…that a husband would take a lover in addition to his wife. Of course, that attitude has changed in our society and in our time but infidelity continues to be prevalent, wreaking havoc on thous...

Warning Signs of Cheating Partners These are the most common signs of a partner who has detached from you because they are attached to someone else. Check off any of these traits you have seen in your relationship over the last 6 – 12 months. Be honest, the future of your relationship together could depend on it. Spiritual ____ You find your partner has been lying to you about a variety of topics ____ Your partner abandons their religious belief system ____ Your spouse seems more secretive or deceptive ____ Abandoning faith or previously held values or morals ____ Not trustworthy or constant violations of trust ____ Secrecy or unusual activity that is very out of character for them ____ Your partner is disrespectful or rude to those who hold traditional values Behavioral ____ Mate is working longer hours on the job and not coming home as much ____ Your spouse has become lazy, especially with household responsibilities ____ Working late every day, with no noticeable incre...

Lust makes us think that having some person we don’t presently have would make us happier. Often that person is simply a figment of our imagination. Even if the person is real, we often attach character traits to him or her that are not real. Usually our lust focuses on sexual involvement. We imagine someone who is terribly fond of us and who prefers our presence and intimacy over anyone else’s. We imagine that if we had such a person to hold in our arms, it would be exciting and wonderfully fulfilling. This is a terrible deception, for it’s a self-centered form of love and we ignore the devastating consequences of living out our imaginations. - Dr. Gary Smalley Statistically only 3% of married men marry their affair partners and if they do only 3% of these marriages work. "Unfortunately, once the affair becomes a marriage, the same traits the man brought with him to his first marriage, he brings with him to the second. He likely blames his wife for where he’s at, and he’ll likely...