The Lifeworks Group, Inc.

A relationship strengthening guide for intimate connections By: Dwight Bain LMHC  Can a stuffed animal with a romantic message solve a relationship problem? Nope. Neither can a trip to the jewelry store, boxes of chocolate, sappy cards, balloons or vases of expensive flowers… none of these can fix a distant, damaged or dying relationship. But the VASE can.   Let me explain why. Relationships take work. There is no easy way to achieve closeness and connection on an intimate level without time, talking and gentle touch. It can’t be done. We’ve all seen the commercials about a couple having a romantic exchange in a restaurant as the waiter brings them a special dessert with a diamond ring attached to a note that says, “ Marry me”.   But as a counselor of more than 30 years I can tell you if that couple were distant or detached from each other before they got to the restaurant the jewelry would only be a shiny trinket that didn’t repair hurt, selfishne...

By: Christine Hammond, LMHC What does “Borderline” mean?   What are you a borderline to?   It is almost as if the author of Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) came up with the most confusing name possible to express just how confusing it could be to deal with a BPD.   Whatever the reason, the name does not describe the disorder as a BPD is not a borderline to anything.   Rather it describes the almost daily “they love me” or “they hate me” responses a BPD can display in a relationship. So what is BPD?   Here is the technical DSM-V definition: ·       Identity:   Unstable self-image with excessive self-criticism ·       Self-direction:   Instability in goals or career plans ·       Empathy:   Prone to feel slighted or insulted even when not true ·       Intimacy:   Relationships marked by mistrust, neediness, and preocc...

By Aaron Welch, LMHC, NCC               Recently, Ichiro Suzuki slashed his 4,000th hit in professional baseball.   It was also revealed that he has the most hits in his 13 year major league career than any player has EVER had during a 13 year stretch.   That is amazing, considering how many incredible hitters there have been in the history of the major leagues.   Ichiro is supremely talented as a baseball player, blessed with great hand-eye coordination, blinding speed, and a rifle arm in right field.   However, one doesn't get to 4,000 hits just because of talent.   Ichiro has also been a tireless worker in honing his craft.               I heard a great story about Ichiro.   It referred back to when he first came to America from Japan to play with the Seattle Mariners.   He and his wife informed the Mariners t...

By Chris Hammond, MS, IMH Have you met a person who only allows you to know so much before they push you away for no real reason?   Just when you thought you were getting close, they seem to pull back to the beginning of the relationship refusing to go any deeper.   If you challenge them on it, you will be met with such resistance and denial that in the end you might start to believe you are crazy.   Well, you are not. Interestingly enough, a person who struggles with intimacy can be married, single, divorced, widowed, have children, have friends, be involved in a church or their community.   They can look like the most involved active fun person to be around but in reality it is all a front to keep you at arms’ length.   Erik Erikson’s sixth psychosocial stage of development is Intimacy vs. Isolation which occurs during the ages of eighteen to mid-thirties.   During this time period a person usually explores the idea of being intimate with a...

By Dwight Bain, Nationally Certified Counselor & Certified Life Coach There are so many failed marriage stories in the headlines it can make you wonder, “Is an intimate relationship even possible anymore?” and if so, “How do you get one?” It seems that some couples quickly move from being fired up with romantic passion to wanting to just fire each other like a bully-boss does to an exhausted employee. It’s no wonder people are more cautious about opening up their hearts to another person, because they have likely witnessed the process of intense romantic chemistry quickly eroding into hateful rejection and ugly conflicts. Everybody talks about wanting a meaningful relationship where they are loved and accepted, yet few are willing to take the chance of being vulnerable or hurt again. Marital intimacy is about seeing into the heart and mind of your mate and learning to connect with them in multiple ways to feel close, accepted and loved on the inside, no matter what kind of press...