The Lifeworks Group, Inc.

By: Christine Hammond LMHC Natalie didn’t get it. She watched her sister tolerate an abusive spouse who routinely left her for another woman and then returned on a whim. Her sister knew he was an adulterer, arrogant, intolerable, demanding, condescending, cruel and controlling. She complained about him, said she wanted to leave, but then when push came to shove, she remained. Natalie’s sister was not unintelligent; in fact, she was the top of her class. She was in upper management, beautiful, and by all outside appearances, seemed to have it all together. But then there was her husband. His narcissistic adulterous behavior was obvious to the family and they supported a separation. Yet, she didn’t leave. Frustrated and confused, Natalie began to wonder if there was something wrong with her sister. The word “dependent” is the perfect descriptive word to summarize Dependent Personality Disorder (DPD).  DPDs need other people for all areas of emotional support and ...

By: Nate Webster, IMH The term “Dry Drunk” was coined by AA (Alcoholics Anonymous) decades ago.  It is used to distinguish someone who is truly sober from someone who might be sober physically, but who is still a “drunk” mentally and emotionally. The term encapsulates the idea that even though someone’s dysfunctional behavior isn’t acting up, his or her heart remains unchanged and that ultimately it’s only a matter of time until he or she acts out again. Even though this term is applied mostly to addiction, the concept is applicable to most bad habits as well. How many of us have bad habits or dependencies we’re trying to stop, but we still just really want to do them? Stopping a bad habit can feel like trying to stop a desire for breathing. You hold your breath, hoping that while you’re suffocating your body will suddenly stop needing oxygen, but eventually you just grow tired and frustrated and stop holding your breath! In my work as a counselor I have noticed th...

By: Christine Hammond, LMHC The word “dependent” is the perfect descriptive word to summarize the personality trait.   Dependents are dependent on others for all areas of emotional support and affirmation and are usually dependent on one person in particular such as a spouse or parent.   Often their dependence is in direct contrast to the person they are dependent on who is very much independent.   Dependents as a general rule of thumb don’t like others to be dependent on them but are comfortable being dependent on others. So what is Dependent?   Well, according to the new DSM-V, dependent is no longer a personality disorder in and of itself rather it is now classified under Personality Disorder Trait Specified (PDTS).   This means that there was not enough research to properly classify dependents as having a named personality disorder but there is evidence enough that it does exist.   So the traits of dependent are still classifiable and quali...

Brian M. Murray, M.S., IMH A nightmare scenario for a parent can be the day they discover their teenager is using drugs. Upon this discovery the parent will often question themselves as to how this happened and may even begin to question their parenting skills. One of the best things a parent can do is to equip themselves with knowledge of what teen drug use looks like. If a teen is caught using drugs know that there are several factors involved with them using. Teenage years are often a time of exploration, hormonal changes and what psychologist Erik Erikson in his psychosocial stages of development identifies as identity versus role confusion. They are trying to figure out the world, who they are and their place in it. Drug use is often best resolved if it is treated like an open wound. Find out what they are medicating. What kind of life situational issues are they trying to resolve through the use of drugs? Sometimes it is simply a choice. Like any adult who suffers fr...

By Matt W Sandford, LMHC In part one, we examined the tendency to resist tears and what they represent, and to develop a protective layer of toughness as a way to handle life’s hurts, disappointments and rejections.   I proposed that this way of managing negative emotional experiences stunts one’s emotional growth and limits one’s ability to cultivate meaningful and lasting relationships. I had offered that I would follow up with some alternative ways to approach the risks and pain of life. 1.     Feel Your Feelings When we’ve been hurt, many of us learn to protect ourselves by deciding that we are not going to show our hurts again. And so we “layer up”, meaning we shield ourselves with the mask of “I’m okay” and we cover our heart under layers of armor. But, we never knew that the process of protecting our heart was also going to result in burying our heart - from ourselves and others. I may be safe, but now I’m lonely and empty inside. The way ...