What Advent Can Teach Us About Peace
By: Megan Brewer IMH
During the holiday
season, many people await the coming of Christmas through the observance of
Advent. Advent is an ancient church tradition beginning 4 weeks before
Christmas and is a season of anticipation and expectation for the coming of
Christ to the world. During Advent, the themes of hope, peace, joy and love are
highlighted. Observers reflect on a different theme each week and reflect upon
its significance in the coming of Christ.
The theme of peace is
prevalent during the second week of Advent—and for the entire Christmas season
for that matter—but many would describe the holiday season as anything but
peaceful. Many feel the strain of the commercialized demands of shopping for
presents, over-committing to parties and events, and navigating complicated and
sometimes hostile family dynamics. It is surprising more people are not waiting
for the holiday season to be over rather than looking towards it with hope,
peace, joy, love and anticipation.
With these and many
more unpleasant dynamics and experiences at play during the holiday season, it
is helpful for us to take a step back and wonder how we might think towards and
incorporate a spirit of peace for ourselves in the midst of it. It is tempting
to think we don’t have the ability to change anything if we can’t change
situations or others’ behavior, but that way of thinking just immobilizes us
and makes us feel stuck.
We already know or
are learning that there are some difficult things about the holidays we cannot
change. We cannot change the decisions of people who react in painful ways
towards us and others, whether they are angry strangers caught in the holiday
rush or dysfunctional family members who say or do hurtful things to us or
others in the family. We cannot change the way others expect us to get caught
up in the chaos that can accompany the holiday season. We also cannot control
unforeseen events like the loss of someone or something important to us. So, what can we do?
How can peace find an
opening when the people around us and situations we find ourselves in block the
way? It is at these times that we must start thinking of peace in a far
different way. Rather than thinking of it exclusively in regard to our
circumstances, we must think of peace as being found in the midst of disruption.
Peace is not overcome by the external chaos seeking to destroy it. Advent
preserves us from the disruption of our circumstances and of external chaos. It
beckons us to come away from the dysfunctional and crazy-making parts of the
holidays and invites us to look instead at a richer, fuller picture of what is
now possible in our world: the deep capacity for hope, peace, joy and love.
Here are some practical lessons from Advent on how to find peace:
Set aside time to reflect:
The season of Advent
invites us to come away from the rushing pace of the world and reflect. Set
aside 20 minutes to slow yourself down. Sit quietly by yourself and begin by
taking inventory of how you are experiencing this holiday season. Many of us
are moving so fast this time of year that we are unaware of how we are being
impacted by it. Start by checking in with your physical body. What do you
notice? Does your chest feel tight? What about your shoulders? What do you
notice in your stomach and back? You may become aware of how much stress your
body is holding onto and your mind has not registered of until now.
Next, move inward to
your thoughts and emotions. What do those places noticed in your body just a
minute ago have to say? What thoughts, images or emotions come to mind? Maybe
you notice you have become more irritable in the fast-paced rush of the season.
Or maybe parts of your body have been tight because you have been anticipating
a holiday gathering like the one last year, one that left you feeling angry or
feeling bad about yourself. Taking time to slow down and reflect is important
because, when we are caught up in unreasonable expectations or stuck focusing
on the difficulty of a situation, we are not free to realize that we have the
ability to make different choices.
Put your focus higher than the present moment’s struggles:
Practicing Advent
shifts the observers focus to something and someone stronger and higher than
the challenges of the season. Peace, then, is no longer contingent upon our
circumstances, but rather becomes an inward presence that can be hoped upon
apart from them.
Take a moment to
think about what brings you peace. What in your life supersedes the disruption
around you and brings your heart rest? What can you hold onto that gives you
hope, purpose and strength? Maybe peace is found in a safe and loving
relationship, or maybe it can be found by making a decision that doesn’t
necessarily make others happy but is more in line with what is healthiest for
you. It may even be choosing to grieve over something you wish was different
instead of bottling it up inside and allowing others to comfort and encourage
you. If you observe traditional Advent, peace is found outside of our
circumstances in the form of a promise that Christ’s coming has not only made
peace possible in our own hearts now through His presence but will bring even
greater peace in times to come.
Advent invites us to anticipate peace in the future:
Perhaps upon
reflection, you realized a deficit of peace in your life that extended beyond
the Christmas season. Circumstances of this past year may have filled life with
anxiety, sadness and stress. As you look to the new year, what would you like
to be different? How can peace take root in the future? What are some practical
steps you can start thinking of now to implement in the new year?
Finding an anchor for
peace in the middle of the holiday rush and chaos is possible, but it does take
intentional time and work. Getting caught up in unhealthy expectations of the
season is normal and surprisingly easy to do. So, this year, try starting
an Advent practice of your own and it just may become one of your favorite
traditions for the holidays.
To schedule an appointment with Megan Brewer,
Please call our office at 407-647-7005.
www.lifeworksgroup.org