20 Lies Addicts Say To Justify Their Addiction
By: Christine Hammond LMHC
Angel came into counseling knowing that something was wrong but not
knowing what it was. After being married for seven years, he noticed his wife
became more secretive and distant. Money from their savings account was missing
and unaccounted for, his wife would disappear frustrated and return weirdly
happy, and she seemed to get angry very easily over insignificant matters.
At first, he thought she was having an affair. But after looking at her
phone and locations, he ruled that out. So he sought the advice of a therapist.
Oftentimes when a spouse is hiding the severity of an addiction, the only
evidence of it is the way they talk about it. An addict lies to themselves and
others in order to justify continuing in their addiction. Here are some
examples of addict speak.
1. “It’s not that bad.” At the first sign
of confrontation, an addict will minimize their addiction by claiming it isn’t
that bad. They might even say they were far worse in the past.
2. “I only use it occasionally.” Instead of flatly
denying the abuse of a substance, an addict will admit to far less than what
they are doing. The rule of thumb is that an addict admits to less than half of
their actual usage.
3. “I can’t deal with my problems without
it.” The irony of this
statement is that the addict begins to look for reasons to use their drug of
choice. They might even create unnecessary problems to support it.
4. “I can stop whenever I want to.” To keep from thinking they are addicted, an addict
will deceive themselves into believing that they can stop at any time. They
might even go for a short period of time to prove it but it is only temporary.
5. “I’m not like … he/she is worse.” By comparing themselves to others, the addict can
minimize the effects of the addiction while highlighting the severity of
another person.
6.
“I’m different than …” Again, the
addict picks another addict that is strongly disliked and says they are not
like them. This comparison might even be accurate but it doesn’t diminish the
reality of the addiction.
7.
“Everyone else does it.” This is a
larger comparison where the addict claims that everyone they know does the
exact same thing and therefore, they can’t have an addiction. It is a type of
group think.
8. “This is my thing, not yours.” Addicts tend to become weirdly possessive of their
drug of choice. It is an affair of sorts where they are uniquely connected to
the substance.
9.
“Life without it is boring.” This
statement is further evidence of a substance affair. The addict sees life a
dull and meaningless without the use of the substance.
10.
“I just
like how it feels.” True addicts develop a personal relationship
with their substance and assign properties to it as if it was a human. The
substance can generate feelings within the addict.
11.
“I can’t be social without it.” A common belief is that the
addict is unable to engage in society or with family and friends without the
use of the substance. The more they use, the worse this becomes.
12.
“If everyone is, I have to too.” The
addict will claim that everyone else does it and therefore they have to too as
if there were no other options. This is especially true in work environments
where substance usage is encouraged.
13.
“I need it to be creative.” This lie actually gives the
substance credit for the addict’s creativity instead of the person doing the
task.
14. “I
need it to relax.” Instead of dealing
with stress and anxiety, the addict covers it up with their substance usage.
But the problem that brought on the stress still remains after the substance
wears off.
15.
“You are trying to take away my fun.” As soon as
the addict receives some resistant from others for using, they resort to
believing that everyone is trying to keep them from enjoying life.
16.
“It makes me a better person.” To justify
their usage, addicts will say that without the substance they are more angry,
frustrated, anxious, depressed, and/or bitter.
17. “It hasn’t changed me.” The contrast to
the previous statement is that the substance doesn’t have any effect on the
abuser. In reality, the worse the addiction, the more dramatic the personality
changes.
18. “I’m not hurting you.” After being
confronted, an addict will minimize the effects of their addiction by claiming
that they are not doing any harm to others.
19. “I’m
still working, so it’s not that bad.” To prove they are not addicted, an addict will use their ability to
continue with work as justification. Many addicts are functioning addicts
meaning that they are able to function during the day.
20. “The
kids don’t know, so it’s okay.” Another common lie is the belief that kids won’t notice the addiction.
Unfortunately, many kids are sneaks and very observant.
After reviewing this list, Angel realized that his wife frequently
said all of these statements. So he staged an intervention to confront his wife
and get her the help she needed for recovery.
To schedule an appointment with Christine Hammond,
Please call our office at 407-647-7005.
