7 Gifts of Borderline Personality Disorder
By: Christine Hammond, LMHC
A diagnosis doesn’t have to be negative. The very thing that
makes a person unique, special, different, and an individual might just fit
within one of the diagnostic codes. A gift of music or a talent in sports is
celebrated, but aren’t these also things that separate out people from the norm?
By definition, a diagnosis is a group of characteristics that are one or more
standard deviation from the norm. But so are high intelligence, greatness,
excellence, and champions.
I would propose that every disorder can have some benefit.
Depression can turn a person inward causing them to be more reflective and
self-analytical. It also releases strong emotions of disappointment, grief, and
rejection. This can be a cleansing process. Anxiety when seen as a warning
signal instead of something to fear can heighten the senses and alert a person
of impending danger, a triggered memory, or overload. Used properly, anxiety
can become a guiding friend instead of a tortured foe.
Of all the diagnosis that gets a bad rap however, Borderline
Personality Disorder (BPD) is at the top. Most of the articles, blogs, books, and videos
about the disorder have a negative spin warning others to get away from anyone
with these symptoms. Yet there is a beauty to this disorder, a real raw
vulnerability that is so unique and different from other people. Either by
intention or not, most reality TV shows feature a person with BPD because of
this authentic openness. Here are a few other gifts of this disorder.
1.
Highly
self-aware. At any given moment, most people with BPD are
profoundly aware of their feelings regardless of the natural conflict the
differing emotions might possess. For instance, they might feel excited going
to a party, rejected when they see someone who was unkind, abandoned when the
person they came with engages with someone else, and happy when they meet a new
person with common interests.
2.
Intense
passion. The
ability to feel and express intense passion for a person, art, literature, music,
sports, food, dance, and other areas of interest comes naturally to a person
with BPD. In fact, they know no other way of living other than to engage fully
in their craft. The idea that they have to take initiative to follow their
passion is foreign because for them, life is not worth living without it.
3.
Exciting
and alive. When a person with BPD is engaged in their
passion, they are thrilling to be around. Their natural excitement for doing
their craft is so intoxicating that others want to contagiously absorb some of
their enthusiasm. It is exhilarating and inspiring to see an athlete break a
new record, a musician playing their instrument in ways unheard before, or a
dancer perform unashamedly.
4.
Ability
to sense emotions of others. Another gifting of BPD is a keen
awareness of the emotions of others. Oftentimes a person with BPD will sense an
emotion such as anger from someone else that the person is ignorant or in
denial of feeling. When this talent is combined with an intense passion for
painting for instance, a picture can reveal a mood that is obvious to the
observer but oblivious to the model.
5.
Strong
empathetic side. Because a person with BPD possesses the
ability to sense the emotions of others, they also tend to absorb said
emotions. As such, not only are they “walking in a person’s shoes” quite
naturally but they also are able to strongly empathize. Actors/actresses who
have BPD use this ability to enhance their performance and connect with their
character at a deep level.
6.
Powerful
intimate connection. Two of the necessary ingredients to a
deep intimate connection are an awareness of self and an ability to empathize
with others. Without these, any attempt at intimacy is shallow and feels
unsatisfactory to the recipient. Because a person with BPD has these two items
in abundance, they tend to make powerful, whole-hearted, and unreserved
connections very quickly, almost too quickly for other people’s level of
comfort.
7.
Desire
for community. BPD is one of two personality disorders (the
other is dependent) that fully appreciates and understands the need for others
to be in their life. This is not a concept that needs any further explanation
for them as they completely grasp the need for community at a deep level. Their
perpetual fear of abandonment propels them to engage in relationships whether
new or old.
The bottom line is this: don’t dismiss anyone with BPD
because of their disorder. Take the time to engage and learn from them because
they have so much to offer and can make life wonderful.
To schedule an appointment with Christine
Hammond,
Please call our office at 407-647-7005.
