The Lasting Impact of Emotional Abuse
By
Megan Muñoz, IMH
Nancy sat at the kitchen table
stringing colorful beads onto a long nylon strand. Her father watched from
across the table as she worked with the beads he had recently purchased.
Yesterday, in a fit of rage, he had taken a necklace Nancy had made days before
and broken it in pieces before her eyes. Now he felt sorry and wanted to make
it up to her. Sadly, this is not the first time Nancy has been the recipient of
her father’s anger.
Nancy is too young to know that
experiences like these are considered emotional abuse. She does not realize
that her father’s anger is not her fault and that she is not responsible for
his inability to manage his own stress responses and emotions.
Emotional abuse: When
children repeatedly experience emotional abuse within relationships that are
meant to nurture and protect, they internalize the abusive treatment and
struggle to develop a strong sense of self. Chronic stress stemming from
repeated abuse becomes toxic to the developing brain of a child.
Early in life: The
experiences children have early in life inform the development of their later
relationships to others and to themselves. The relationships children have with
those who care for them are the fundamental building blocks that will
characterize the structures of their thoughts, feelings and behavior as they
move into the world.
Later in life: Nancy
did not know how the pattern of emotional abuse experienced from her father
would affect her later in life. As she grew up, she continued to be caught in
similar cycles of emotional abuse with friends and in romantic relationships.
She had learned to walk on eggshells in order to control the unpredictability
of her relationships as a child and now was approaching her adult relationships
in the same fashion.
While Nancy was growing up in an
emotionally dysfunctional relationship, there was no one to help her make sense
of what was happening. She was on her own to create meaning and draw
conclusions from the abusive experiences she had with her father. She needed
someone to listen to her and ask her questions about what she was experiencing.
She needed someone to help her understand that the abuse was not her fault and
work with her to prevent it from continuing. Nancy was able to get help and is
now engaging in healthy and nurturing relationships.
If emotional abuse has been a part of your story or you struggle
to form healthy relationships, there is hope. Talking to a counselor or
licensed professional can help you work through these struggles and begin to
build healthy relationships.
To schedule an
appointment with Megan Muñoz,
Please call our office
at 407-647-7005.
www.lifeworksgroup.org
