What Do Mothers Really Want For Mother’s Day?
By: Nate Webster, IMH
What does a mother really want for Mother’s
Day? For as long as many of us can remember, it seems like the answer to that
question is more clothes, kitchen appliances or gift cards. Yet beyond material
possessions, mothers deep down inside want something all together different: a
whole lot of grace. Modern motherhood is constantly bombarded, in our 21st
century world, with ways to be a better mother. I think most mothers of older
children have a lot they are still beating themselves up about and I think most
mothers of younger children are racked with guilt and doubt by the all ways
they could be better. So what’s a mother to do then on the tradition of
motherly recognition called Mother’s Day? Perhaps give herself a nice heap of
grace and patience. You see if motherhood was given a salary many studies say
it would be a $150,000 dollar job. This is quite a lot of work each year that
comes with no days off and no vacation. On top of all that it’s a job that
comes with no handbook, manual or guarantees, making it one of the hardest jobs
that unfortunately is accorded the least amount of grace.
So what’s underneath the surface of
a mom who feels so guilty? It’s a mom who thinks imperfections and failure make
their kids worse, not better. To share from my own experience, I had a mother
who wrestled with a lot of mental illnesses; I think three or four. Today I often
get asked what my mother's recipe was for raising what others perceive to be a
nice young man, and I always enjoy seeing the looks on their faces when I respond
with “weakness.” You give children the greatest gift when you can show them
love and care, not without weakness and failure, but instead with it. The
greatest lesson to teach kids in preparation for the real world is that true
love and care exist in the midst of struggle, not in the absence of it.
So
this Mother’s Day, keep loving your kids well and give yourself grace for all
that you didn’t do so well.
If you want a therapist to help you
reflect, direct, and be aware of the things in your life, Life Works Group is a
great place to start.
To schedule an appointment with Nate
Webster, please call our office at 407-647-7005.
www.lifeworksgroup.org
