What Do Mothers Really Want For Mother’s Day?

By: Nate Webster, IMH

            What does a mother really want for Mother’s Day? For as long as many of us can remember, it seems like the answer to that question is more clothes, kitchen appliances or gift cards. Yet beyond material possessions, mothers deep down inside want something all together different: a whole lot of grace. Modern motherhood is constantly bombarded, in our 21st century world, with ways to be a better mother. I think most mothers of older children have a lot they are still beating themselves up about and I think most mothers of younger children are racked with guilt and doubt by the all ways they could be better. So what’s a mother to do then on the tradition of motherly recognition called Mother’s Day? Perhaps give herself a nice heap of grace and patience. You see if motherhood was given a salary many studies say it would be a $150,000 dollar job. This is quite a lot of work each year that comes with no days off and no vacation. On top of all that it’s a job that comes with no handbook, manual or guarantees, making it one of the hardest jobs that unfortunately is accorded the least amount of grace.

            So what’s underneath the surface of a mom who feels so guilty? It’s a mom who thinks imperfections and failure make their kids worse, not better. To share from my own experience, I had a mother who wrestled with a lot of mental illnesses; I think three or four. Today I often get asked what my mother's recipe was for raising what others perceive to be a nice young man, and I always enjoy seeing the looks on their faces when I respond with “weakness.” You give children the greatest gift when you can show them love and care, not without weakness and failure, but instead with it. The greatest lesson to teach kids in preparation for the real world is that true love and care exist in the midst of struggle, not in the absence of it.

So this Mother’s Day, keep loving your kids well and give yourself grace for all that you didn’t do so well.
If you want a therapist to help you reflect, direct, and be aware of the things in your life, Life Works Group is a great place to start.  

To schedule an appointment with Nate Webster, please call our office at 407-647-7005.

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