Top 10 Misguided Perceptions of Therapy
By: Christine Hammond LMHC
Ever wonder what it is like to go see a
therapist? Perhaps there is a troubled relationship that is rapidly
deteriorating. Or a boss that can’t be satisfied who chooses to verbal assault
their employees. Or a traumatic event that never seems to leave current
thoughts. Or a recent loss that is so overwhelming, forever changing the
future.
Therapy is very useful in these cases and
can improve a person’s life. But the expectation a person enters into the
therapeutic process often limits the ability of the therapist to do their best
work.
Over the years, clients have shared some
misguided perceptions of therapy. Here are a few:
1. “Therapy
should make me happy.” The
intent of therapy is not ‘make’ a person happy. Happiness is a feeling which
can be based on circumstances, outlook, and personality. The real purpose of therapy
is to become fully functional, present, and connected in all environments and
relationships.
2. “You
need to change my … (spouse, kid, parent,
or co-worker).” Every
person is entitled to choose whether they want to change or not. This is a
process that cannot and should not be forced; otherwise the relationship takes on
an abusive aspect. A therapist can’t make someone change, they can only
encourage or inspire.
3. “I
want to be fixed in one session.” The
process of therapy takes time because it requires self-discovery. As a result,
there are no quick therapeutic fixes but each person has individual needs,
perceptions, and motivation. For therapy to work best, it must be customized to
the individual. This generates a lasting, long-term effect.
4. “I
feel close to my therapist.”
Therapy is designed as a one-way relationship meaning that only the client exposes
themselves, not the therapist. This ethical boundary is set for the protection
of the client. While it is not unusual for a client to feel close to the
therapist, the relationship is not one of besties.
5. “I
shouldn’t have to pay someone to get better.” Therapists are specialists in their field
who have and continue to study, research, and develop an expertise. Just like
other medical professionals, there are licensing requirements, specialties, and
additional certifications all of which cost money. Remember, you get what you
pay for.
6. “Tell
me what to do.” Too
often clients believe therapy should solve their problems. Therapists can shed
light on options, explain potential outcomes, and connect the past to the
present. But the point of therapy is to guide the client into making their own
decision, not to make it for them.
7. “All
therapists are the same.”
No, they are not. Each therapist brings unique perspectives and expertise to a
practice. Some therapist’s personality and method are better suited to certain
clients. They are as different as each type of client. It might take a few
therapists to find the right match, but it is worth the effort.
8. “Why
can’t you help me with this?”
Different types of therapy require an extra level of proficiency and should not
be practiced by every therapist. Part of the ethical guidelines of therapy is
to refer a client to someone who might be better suited with more know-how for
a particular disorder or diagnosis.
9. “I’m
all better now that someone else knows.” Just because a person has confessed an intimate secret
doesn’t mean they are completely healed. The healing process is unique to
everyone, just as grieving is. It must be customized based on personality and usually
requires additional action or change in behavior.
10. “I
should feel better after session.”
Exposing areas that need to be worked on is not always a happy journey,
sometimes it is painful. But it is through the hurt and healing that growth
happens. It takes time to complete the process which rarely is done within a 50
minute time frame.
Before going to a therapist, make sure an
accurate picture of the process is in place. This will allow the client to get
the most out of the session in the least amount of time.
To schedule an appointment with Christine
Hammond, please call our office at 407-647-7005.
