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Showing posts from June, 2016

Is Your Kid an Addict?

By: Christine Hammond, LMHC According to The National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse, 4 out of every 25 people over the age of 12 have an addiction. When six addicts are put together, one of them will have a multiple addiction problems. This means that for every standard classroom size of 25, there are 4 middle/high school kids who are already an addict. This does not include those who will develop addiction in later years. What is an addiction? According to the DSM-V, the word addiction is no longer clinically used. Rather, it has been replaced with Substance Use Disorder or Substance-Induced Disorder. Each individual substance (like alcohol) is further divided into use, intoxication or withdrawal with specific criterion for each. Some common characteristics of a substance use disorder (addiction) include: ·          Having to take the substance (like drugs) in greater amounts to achieve the same desired effect (high). ·          Attempts to reduce the intake a

7 Ways Ex-Narcissists Retaliate Through Children

By: Christine Hammond, LMHC Divorcing a narcissist doesn’t solve everything. While the day-to-day distance can elevate the stress, anxiety, depression, and frustration of living with a narcissist, it doesn’t stop them from being narcissistic. The next party on the victimization list is often the children. But really, the narcissist is just using the children to attack the ex-spouse (ES). Here’s how: 1.        Projection – Ex-Narcissists (EN) tells children that it is really the ES who is the narcissist. Any negative narcissistic traits are projected onto the ES, while the positive traits are preserved. For instance, an EN will claim the ES has no empathy and doesn’t understand what the children are feeling. However, the house they have is because of the EN’s achievements, not the joint effort of the prior marriage. It doesn’t matter what the truth is to the narcissist, it only matters how they can twist the truth to look superior. 2.       Unnecessary Generosity – When a nar

Strategies to Help Children Following A Crisis

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By: Dwight Bain, LMHC Children look to their parents for support and encouragement during any crisis. The following is a guide to help parents and teachers manage the flood of emotions that may come up because of the terrorist attacks. Ages birth-6 It is recommended that children under the age of six not be given exposure to major traumatic events. Children of this age draw their support from their parents, so if the parents or guardians feel safe and secure, the children will as well. Parents should speak calmly around children about bad things that happen in the world, and that "we will remember the people that were hurt in our prayers." If the parents are able to maintain a sense of calmness, children will feel safe. Ages 6-12 Children this age are more aware of the world around them, yet still need moms and dads to shield them from most of the bad news in our world. Very limited exposure to the media is recommended at this stage, with more open discussions

What Do You Do When Terror Attacks?

B y: Dwight Bain, LMHC  The terrorist attack in Orlando creates the immediate feeling of being overwhelmed emotionally and confused about what to do next.   The following are some practical steps to prevent secondary trauma, which is a condition that occurs after a major critical incident. These principles will help you, or the people you love to stabilize. The first step is to practice self-care. This is listening to your own emotions and dealing with your own level of fear. You need to stabilize in order to help the people you care about. Pay attention to your own emotions of fear, anxiety, panic, or trauma so you can take immediate action to manage the flood of emotions.   One of the simplest ways to do this, involves a legal pad and a pen. Writing down what you're feeling and what you're experiencing will help you get through the process faster. (For very young children this can be done through art or drawing, or maybe drawing a picture for a firefighter or firs

11 Ways Narcissists Use Shame to Control

By: Christine Hammond, LMHC A weakness of a narcissist is their extreme hatred of being embarrassed. There is nothing worse for them than having someone point out even the slightest fault. Ironically, they have no problem openly doing this to others.  This method of casting shame allows them to feel superior while minimizing any impact the other person might have. It also serves as a way of discounting any future comments the other person use to embarrass the narcissist. Basically, they are beating the other person to the first punch.  In order to avoid a first punch, a person needs to understand what it looks like. Here are eleven ways a narcissist uses shame to control others.  1. Historical Revisionism. A narcissist will retell another person’s story adding their own flare of additional shame. This can be done in front of others or privately. It usually happens after the other person has achieved some level of accomplishment. The narcissist will state that they are only tryin