Coaching Positive Change to Win at Life and Work
By: Dwight Bain, LMHC
“What does it take to win at work and love?” It’s a great
question, but since every person faces different challenges there isn’t a
specific answer that works for every person. A better approach is to focus on
the real source of motivation by exploring the underlying motives.
When you discover the motive behind why you want to win at work you will be on track to shaping a strategic approach to speed toward accomplishing goals and avoiding distractions that lead to failure.
Here are some key coaching questions to ask-
· Do you want to win at work to deepen your resume to advance your career?
· Does success at work mean making more money to bring home to
your family?
· Does career success give you personal meaning and fulfillment?
· Does winning bring you a sense of satisfaction by proving you
are the best?
Greater professional success usually gives a person much greater
options in their personal life because increased income brings the flexibility
to solve problems and control schedules by delegation. Outsourcing to save time
and money is a wise use of resources.
However, working harder to gain greater self-esteem is a dangerous
motivator because it takes major sacrifices of time and energy and can often
become a ‘black hole’ of busy activity leading to workaholism.
Career burnout is from an attempt to fill up deep emotional
insecurity through aggressive professional activity. Burnout won’t lead to
professional success, and sadly is incredibly common among people who haven’t
seen the importance of mapping out a realistic career coaching plan to win at
work, without losing at home.
Finding the Energy for Career Success
How can you stay motivated to achieve greater career success?
Start with your core values, which can be identified through mapping out your
internal motives, since motives lead to motivation. Here are key areas to stay
focused and win at work while feeling greater energy and fulfillment in the
process.
1) Insight
There is a scripture verse I was taught to pray every day, “If
any many lacks wisdom let him ask God and it will be given to him.” (James
1:5). When you know you don’t know the answers, then asking for God’s
direction is a wise use of time. Generating insight by asking God to reveal
your special gifts and natural ability, regardless of how much you may feel
like you are struggling. Everyone has talent and ability at something. It takes
insight to see it and then it takes courage to stay focused to light the fire
of desire in your heart, especially when you may feel like giving up.
The career coaching process could begin with some of the people
close to you, like a marriage partner, family member or trusted friend because
they already know so much about your personality, character, motivation and
inner-drives. Asking many questions to gain greater insight will protect
against impulsive choices, and insure a greater likelihood of success, so don’t
be afraid to ask too many questions, but do be afraid to stay silent on this
important element.
2) Interests
One you know your gifts, talents, abilities and skills, the next
step is to see how those unique gifts could be transferred into something so
incredibly interesting that you want to show up and learn more about it every
day. There is an old saying that the curious are never bored. When you are
inspired about pursuing something extremely interesting you lose all track of
time because you find it so fascinating. Linking your interests with greater
insight leads to the next part of the process to win at work.
3) Important
Once you get inspired to pursue the aspects of your job or career
calling that are most interesting, the next element to stir up personal
motivation is to discover what is most important. What is valuable to you? What
has great meaning? What activities or organizations do believe strongly in?
Everyone believes in something yet many of us haven’t taken time to explore and
discover the core motives that fuel our motivation to create positive change.
Now that you have mapped out the key areas that motivate people you are ready
for the final stage.
4) Identity
When people figure who they are, and what they enjoy doing, they
are on track to live out their purpose and have more fun in the process!
Perhaps the huge success of many work related reality TV shows, (like
Shark Tank),is because they reveal what many people secretly would like
their daily work experience to be – a place that allows them to utilize their
creative abilities in an environment that rewards taking big risks to achieve
greater results.
It’s not hard to stay motivated when you know why you are going to
work and it’s not hard to stay in the race to win either. In fact, it makes it
easy to move from a fear of failure to moving forward with a new dedication to
finish strong!
Now you have the basic career coaching strategies needed to win at
work. Yet, even with these insights many people are afraid to try and often
give up on the belief that they could have a better life by moving from their
‘day job’ over to fully experiencing their ‘dream job’. Why do they lack career
confidence?
Why are they still likely to fail? Here are the hidden motivations
that most often lead to losing at work.
Fearful
Times are tough and many people are afraid about what the economy
will do in the future, in fact they can become so frozen in fear they are
afraid to try. It’s normal to feel afraid, yet when you are overwhelmed with
fear it can often lead to becoming indecisive and totally ‘zoning out.’ Since
running away from reality feels easier than facing it for some people they
chose to stick their head in the sand and completely deny what’s happening to
their industry, (think about how Blockbuster Video failed to make
strategic changes with their customers and eventually filed for bankruptcy
protection, while competitor organizations like NetFlix and Red Box were
thriving).
Some people do this in a passive way and just slowly sink, while
others try to avoid reality by using substances or media to escape. Avoiding
major change by hiding in fear will lead to a major crisis. Being aware of
these dangers and opening up the conversation will help you to ask tough
questions to protect yourself when heading toward a dangerous situation.
Frustrated
This could include marriage partners or coworkers connected to
people who are already losing at work, but it’s really more about you. Think
about the times you were trying, but it’s just didn’t come together. You know
you want to finish strong and have a meaningful career, but you feel like you
lack the horsepower to really pull out in front of the crowd. When frustration
builds up it puts you at great risk, because you face a tough choice. Finish
with mediocre results and risk getting laid off or downsized to try again at
the next job; or just check out to avoid feeling the pain of not performing to
your potential or quitting.
Failing
Sadly this type of unmotivated person is the easiest to spot
because they checked out a long time ago. When someone has reached this level
they are so unmotivated they give up on even trying at the most basic of tasks
so their resume just reflects a ‘free fall’ down to zero. They
totally and completely fail, which crushes their confidence and for many it
kills the desire to try again; which leads many coaching clients to give up
completely and just drop out on the idea that a meaningful career was ever even
a possibility for them.
They are too depleted to even believe that God’s promise spoken
through the prophet Jeremiah, ‘Call to Me, and I will answer you, and
show you great and mighty things, which you do not know.’ (Jeremiah 33:3) is
still available to them.
Finally, be encouraged to face your fears, frustrations and the
fear of failing with words of encouragement from God’s word. If you take time
out daily to meditate on the Bible it will guide you from fear to greater faith
by identifying your core motives, and then translating that into the
powerful motivation needed to win at work.
You are stronger than you think, but in case you are feeling beat
up by life, listen to the words of Moses in Exodus 14 as a final challenge when
feeling unmotivated or scared about your career; “Do not be afraid.
Stand still, and see the salvation of the LORD, which He will accomplish for
you today…The LORD will fight for you!”
About the author– Dwight Bain guides leaders into
rewriting their story to experience greater meaning by creating positive
change. He is an Executive Coach and Nationally Certified Counselor in practice
since 1984 at the LifeWorks Group in Florida. Stay connected with him on all
social media platforms @DwightBain