The Power of Balanced Thinking
By: Christine Hammond, LMHC
As a natural
optimist, I’m great at seeing the glass half full. However, life has taught me
that there are times when positive thinking can do more harm than good. For it
is through the pain, suffering, hurt, sadness, and discouragement that a person
gains strength, character, courage, determination, and perseverance.
Optimists. It is
natural for an optimist to overlook the negative. However, dismissing
uncomfortable topics arbitrarily without allowing the opportunity for self-reflection,
leads to a lack of awareness. This avoidance can prevent healing in the most
inward parts of a person thereby creating an environment where the same root
issue resurfaces over and over.
Pessimists. Likewise,
it is natural for a pessimist to overlook the positive. But neglecting to
embrace even the simple joys in life and feel the emotion can leave a person
flat. This type of avoidance can also prevent healing because it seems like
life will never get better again.
Balance. There
are times when positive thinking is needed but there are also times when
negative thinking is beneficial. The concept is to have a healthy weight of
both so a person can continue to heal and grow. As with anything, the key is
finding a balance between two extremes.
Thoughts.
Creating a balance in thinking requires a person to analyze which beliefs are
given more value and which are dismissed. The frequency of deliberations is not
necessarily an indicator. Rather, it is the opinions that then turn into some
emotional response or action that determine the weight. Try to spend just one
ordinary day recording thoughts and then mark the ones that had some type of
strong reaction. Then evaluate those few to see if there is a balance between
positive and negative.
Promises. Throughout
a person’s life, there are internal, sometimes external, promises a person
makes. They come in the form of, “I will never do that again,” “I will always
do that in the future,” or “I’m not going to be like that person.” These
pledges are cemented into the subconscious causing a person to react a certain
way as if on autopilot. This is especially true when a traumatic event
generating an intense emotional response is attached to the phrase. Take some
time to discover these promises and write them down. Again, a balance helps to
maintain a healthy perspective.
Focus. Ever
heard of the phrase, “You are what you eat?” Well, a person is also what they
think. It takes mental discipline to put aside unproductive thoughts (these can
be either positive or negative), and intentionally focus. Think of the brain as
a muscle that needs to be worked on a regular basis. It is exercised through
control of what is tossed around and what is tossed out. For some, this is a
very difficult task due to attention-deficit, brain injuries, or chemical
imbalances in the brain. So be patient if it takes a bit longer than expected.
Distractions. One
of the best gifts a person can do is to allow some distractions to naturally
happen. This can stop a thought train from going off the rails. Be flexible
with simple interruptions as sometimes they are blessings in disguise. Have
several intentional diversions available whenever needed to help keep the
balance between the positive and negative.
There
is great power when a person allows both the positive and negative to transform
their thinking. It is like breaths of fresh air when then realize that life
doesn’t need to be lived inside one extreme or another.
To schedule an
appointment with Christine Hammond, please call our office at
407-647-7005.
