When Your Knight in Shining Armor Turns Out to be Wearing Aluminum Foil
By: Emily Long
Taylor
Swift said it perfectly in a song: “you got that James Dean daydream look in
your eye…” when it comes to describing bad boys. Your friends have dated them,
you’ve dated them, your mom, sister, cousin… every woman you encounter has
experienced a “bad boy” at one point or another. How can you spot the “bad
boys” and identify them? You can’t. They don’t walk around wearing signs of
indication, dress a certain way or hang out in a particular area. They just
are. When your friends or family date them you can normally spot them more quickly
than Waldo in a Where’s Waldo book.
But when you’re dating a “bad boy” everything isn’t so crystal clear.
Categories
of “Bad Boys”
When
someone thinks of the bad boy image, their perception is all based on
experience. Why? Shouldn’t a bad boy be obvious? Bad boys can earn their
classification by their charm. They could be perfectly groomed in an Armani
suit and know the exact words to say to a female to win her over. The
intentions behind what he says is what truly defines a bad boy. If a man walks
into any form of a relationship with a woman and leaves it having given her the
respect she deserves, he is not a bad boy, even if the relationship ended badly
.
But WHY
do women fall for bad boys?
If a man
is leading you on and not treating you as he should, why would you keep going
back to him? Why would you keep dating the same type of guys that fall into the
“bad boy” category? Typically women enter into a relationship with hope and
with hope comes imagery about their knight in shining armor. Many women
probably have some form of a Pinterest board with the finest details of their
dream wedding even before they are in a relationship. That fantasy mixed with a
man’s promises only fuels the attraction. The fantasy will only
differ in women’s minds by their influences growing up and the qualities they
look for in a man. By wanting so badly to find her knight, a woman will alter
her checklist of attributes she looks for in a man to accommodate the man that
stands in front of her, falling into the imagery trap over and over again. Eventually,
the “knight” that has walked into her life will suddenly lose his armor and be
seen for what he really is, a “bad boy” AKA “Mr. Wrong.”
Every relationship
in life comes with a lesson. Your reaction to that lesson molds you to become
even more of a unique individual. Several failed relationships only
mean you haven’t met the person you’re supposed to spend the rest of your life
with. Don’t give up hope just because of the few bad apples you’ve experienced.
Take those experiences and either change the things you need to in yourself, or
resolve to stick firmly to your checklist of qualities. The only time your
checklist should change is when you’ve learned the lesson and decide what you
DO or DON’T want in your life. By settling for “the next best thing” you open
the door for the bad boys to walk in and out of your life. The knight you’ve
been looking for won’t ever lose his armor because there will be no armor for
him to lose. He will keep his promises and be (or at least have the potential
to be) everything you wanted and waited for. Waiting is hard to do when your
heart has been broken but it is worth it especially when you use the time to
learn more about yourself. As cloudy as the sky may be, you’ll soon understand
that the people that have broken your heart have only done so because they
themselves are broken. As long as you never lose hope and truly learn from the
lessons that life has put in your way, you’ll be all the better for it and the
door will open for your “Mr. Right.”