When Your Knight in Shining Armor Turns Out to be Wearing Aluminum Foil
By: Emily Long
Taylor Swift said it perfectly in a song: “you got that James Dean daydream look in your eye…” when it comes to describing bad boys. Your friends have dated them, you’ve dated them, your mom, sister, cousin… every woman you encounter has experienced a “bad boy” at one point or another. How can you spot the “bad boys” and identify them? You can’t. They don’t walk around wearing signs of indication, dress a certain way or hang out in a particular area. They just are. When your friends or family date them you can normally spot them more quickly than Waldo in a Where’s Waldo book. But when you’re dating a “bad boy” everything isn’t so crystal clear.
Categories of “Bad Boys”
When someone thinks of the bad boy image, their perception is all based on experience. Why? Shouldn’t a bad boy be obvious? Bad boys can earn their classification by their charm. They could be perfectly groomed in an Armani suit and know the exact words to say to a female to win her over. The intentions behind what he says is what truly defines a bad boy. If a man walks into any form of a relationship with a woman and leaves it having given her the respect she deserves, he is not a bad boy, even if the relationship ended badly .
But WHY do women fall for bad boys?
If a man is leading you on and not treating you as he should, why would you keep going back to him? Why would you keep dating the same type of guys that fall into the “bad boy” category? Typically women enter into a relationship with hope and with hope comes imagery about their knight in shining armor. Many women probably have some form of a Pinterest board with the finest details of their dream wedding even before they are in a relationship. That fantasy mixed with a man’s promises only fuels the attraction. The fantasy will only differ in women’s minds by their influences growing up and the qualities they look for in a man. By wanting so badly to find her knight, a woman will alter her checklist of attributes she looks for in a man to accommodate the man that stands in front of her, falling into the imagery trap over and over again. Eventually, the “knight” that has walked into her life will suddenly lose his armor and be seen for what he really is, a “bad boy” AKA “Mr. Wrong.”
Every relationship in life comes with a lesson. Your reaction to that lesson molds you to become even more of a unique individual. Several failed relationships only mean you haven’t met the person you’re supposed to spend the rest of your life with. Don’t give up hope just because of the few bad apples you’ve experienced. Take those experiences and either change the things you need to in yourself, or resolve to stick firmly to your checklist of qualities. The only time your checklist should change is when you’ve learned the lesson and decide what you DO or DON’T want in your life. By settling for “the next best thing” you open the door for the bad boys to walk in and out of your life. The knight you’ve been looking for won’t ever lose his armor because there will be no armor for him to lose. He will keep his promises and be (or at least have the potential to be) everything you wanted and waited for. Waiting is hard to do when your heart has been broken but it is worth it especially when you use the time to learn more about yourself. As cloudy as the sky may be, you’ll soon understand that the people that have broken your heart have only done so because they themselves are broken. As long as you never lose hope and truly learn from the lessons that life has put in your way, you’ll be all the better for it and the door will open for your “Mr. Right.”