Breaking the Bad Boy Cycle: Why Good Girls Choose Bad Boys
By: Cara Griffin-Locker, IMH
Why do good girls often
flock to bad boys? Well, they are fun, adventurous, familiar and more often
than not they need to be fixed. What
girl does not like a little project? As
women we tend to want to fix things and that may include the man in our life.
How can a good girl avoid dating a bad boy? The answer lies in understanding herself
as a woman, having expectations of what she wants in a man and being able to
identify her value. A girl’s desire for the perfect man can lead to a fixation
on finding a boyfriend. Having a boyfriend does not define you but your
self-worth and spirituality do.
Relationships experience intimacy when both parties can sacrifice for one
other. By definition, a bad boy is unable to offer sacrificial
love. Women often fool themselves into
thinking that they are immune to falling for a bad boy. The affection of a bad
boy is always performance-based and challenge-driven. Here are four reasons why
good girls choose bad boys.
1. He can be fixed. Women sometimes allow their nurturing instinct to
affect their better judgment when it comes to choosing a boyfriend. Some women
like a project or a fixer upper; they think they can change a guy and his
character flaws. Women who were abused or ignored by their father may not know
how to identify real love. Worse, they may think that their past pain can be
erased by marrying a bad boy and making everything work out right. This is a
lie; it is impossible to make a man improve his character. He may fake
integrity for a time but his true colors will eventually shine through.
2.
He is exciting. Society tends to glamorize all
the wrong things including the bad boy image.
Bad boys draw attention to themselves;
their popularity and playful personality can be very attractive. Dating a bad
boy is appealing and the notoriety of dating one can touch a woman’s need for
acceptance and significance. What some women do not realize is that their
personal reputation can be tarnished by associating with a notorious person.
Bad boys may be fun, but the party does not last forever. Vain pleasure will
eventually wear off over time. A bad boy may shower you with compliments,
attention, and excitement, but the moment you cease to keep him happy, he will
lose interest in you.
3. He pursued me. Bad boys tend to be more assertive when it comes to
initiating a dating relationship. Since most women want to
be pursued, this aggressive approach can be appealing. Additionally, a bad boy
may seem driven to make something of himself. Women usually like a man who
seems to have purpose in life. However, dating a guy with
poor character, even if he pursues you, will still equal a poor relationship.
There may seem to be more bad boys around
than men with character, but waiting for a man with integrity is worth it. So
ladies, kiss those bad boys goodbye!
