Showing posts from April, 2015

"Work"ing Out: Is Your Job a "Fit" or a "Fight"

By Matt W. Sandford, LMHC

When we were young people probably asked us what we wanted to be when we grew up. And I think for most of us, when we think back on how we answered we chuckle about it. Childrens’ answers to this question can be fanciful, and have nothing to do with the concept of a good “fit”. But what constitutes a good fit? And how can we expect to find satisfaction in life if our job is more a fight than a good fit? What can we do?
I believe that in some ways we are conditioned in our culture to conceive of finding a “good job” in specific ways, such as: it is something I am good at, it is something I like doing, it is something that pays well, and it is something that is respected by others. Our parents and families were likely highly invested in us finding a “good job” and so the expectations were there hovering over us. And with the cultural and family expectations doing their job, many of us pursued what we hoped would be a “fitting” career. We worked hard through studi…

Choose Your Passion, Not a Job

By: Cara Griffin-Locker, IMH

As children, thoughts of what we would do when we get older were endless. Our dreams, hopes and aspirations were as big as the world we live in. The desire and need to be successful were not yet as strong as our desire and need for adventure and fun. However, as we grew up, money became inherently more important than our childhood aspirations. It is the powerful tool for building empires and lavish lifestyles. Money can make some people happy and others miserable. For some, in today’s society, the pursuit of money can be directly linked to the pursuit of happiness.

The idea that money is the key to happiness is problematic because it often leads people down a career path that may not be meant for them. They choose money over passion and childhood dreams. They choose the materialistic ways of the world, rather than a life of simplicity and passion. Whatever happened to the saying “choose something you like to do and you will never work a day in your life?” …

Want to Feel Better? Try the Happiness Formula

By: Dwight Bain

USA Today Newspaper asked readers “What do you want the most?” and the most common answer was to be happy.
While this sounds reasonable, it’s actually quite a puzzle because happiness is very individualized and hard to broadly define. What makes one person happy may not have much effect on another, or might even annoy them.

While the formula of what creates happiness is elusive, (think of Thomas Jefferson’s writing about the “Pursuit of Happiness”), the physical and psychological benefits of happiness are easy to track. Here’s a short list of the benefits of being happier.

·Happy people are better liked
·Happy people have more satisfying relationships with others
·Happy people have 13% fewer fights and arguments
·Happy students are 20% more likely to get “A” grades
·Happy teens are 10 times less likely to start smoking

The Secret Lie of Narcissism

By Christine Hammond, LMHC

Beneath all of that bravado and charm lies a hidden secret the narcissist doesn’t want you to find. They will do anything to protect their secret from you.
They might lie about it.Or they might divert your attention with an innovative story. Or they might project their secret onto you. Come close to figuring it out and the result is warfare for control.
Narcissists will use all types of abuse to dominate you. They use verbal (i.e. threats, intimidation), physical (i.e. restraining, choking), emotional (i.e. fear or guilt tactics), mental (i.e. gaslighting, silent treatment), financial (i.e. withholding, exploitation), sexual (i.e. forced, coerced) or spiritual (i.e. isolation from family, legalism) forms of abuse.
Their fear is this… information equals power. If you know their secret, you will then embarrass or humiliate them. This is the worst thing they can imagine... others thinking less of them.
So what is this precious secret? Hidden deep inside, all n…

Breaking the Worry Cycle

By: Cara Griffin-Locker

She sat with her breath held as the bills lay on the kitchen table. She did not know how they were all going to get paid or how they would have anything left for food or daily essentials. She started to second guess her decision to leave the job that she had had for eight and a half years. She questioned the wisdom in losing the paid vacation and the health care benefits. Everything started to become overwhelming and the worrying was taking over. It was starting to consume her; what seemed possible now seemed so impossible and the thoughts of having to keep working was very unsettling.The worrying started to take its toll physically, she found herself not being able to sleep and her appetite had decreased. She realized that she was losing control.
Most of us can probably relate to this scenario - worrying about bills, wanting to be a stay-at-home parent, etc.. If we take a minute we will realize that life is full of things to worry about: what to wear, the kids,…