Nomophobia Changed My Life By: Dwight Bain
Yep, it finally happened to me. 12 days
ago I dropped my iPhone into water and experienced "Nomophobia"
which is the phobic reaction to being without your cell phone, (no-mo-mobile-phone-phobia).
For the first time in my adult life I
don't have a mobile phone, and for the first time in a long time I wasn’t able
to talk/text/FB/Instagram/Tweet/Post or watch baby panda's sneeze on YouTube. (Don’t judge until you’ve seen this adorable
video). Oh, and I found out that while
my phone was dead, I'm actually more alive. Here's what I’ve noticed during these
days of technology detox and full scale withdrawal. A lot of people are
seriously addicted to their smart phones and sadly, I was one of them.
There are a series of very clever
YouTube videos about the dumb things people do with smart phones, (missing
the love of their life, not seeing cash right in front of them, running into
trees, buildings, traffic, trains, all because they were watching their phone
instead of their feet), and while
they are funny – the truth they illustrate is quite sad. Our culture is
addicted to smart media – and that’s quite dumb. One study found that 7
in 10 people are actually afraid to lose or be separated from their mobile
phones. Dr. Leslie Perlow from Harvard Business School did some pioneer
research on the addictive nature of mobile technology and discovered from 1600
respondents that -
70% check their smart phone within one
hour of getting up.
56% check their phone within an hour of going to sleep.
48% check over the weekend, including on Friday and Saturday nights.
51% check continuously during vacation.
44% said they would experience "a great deal of anxiety" if they lost their phone and couldn't replace it for a week.
56% check their phone within an hour of going to sleep.
48% check over the weekend, including on Friday and Saturday nights.
51% check continuously during vacation.
44% said they would experience "a great deal of anxiety" if they lost their phone and couldn't replace it for a week.
In fact, a study commissioned by Nokia
discovered the average cellular phone user can't ignore their phone for more
than 6 minutes and check their phone for updates 150 times per day!
While this may seem excessive, think
about how many times you pick up your phone to check a text message, or email,
or tweet, or Instagram or Facebook, or the weather report, or your bank account
balance. Pew Research Center’s Internet & American Life Project found 56%
of American adults now have smart phones while 36% have only basic mobile
phones and 9% don't own a cell phone at all.
Sadly, more than 50% admit to texting
and driving, even though a Mythbuster's controlled experiment showed this
behavior was 6 times more dangerous than driving drunk. (Did you see the news story of the woman who
posted, “Happy listening to the Happy song,” on Facebook right before she had a
car wreck from texting and driving and died at the scene of the crash).
Smart phones are more than just phones
because for many people they represent a soul mate, a constant companion and
source of connection to the world around them.
According to a poll by SecurEnvoy, 70% of women have phone separation
anxiety, (panic over the thought of
losing their phone) as opposed to 61% of men. Almost 75% of
participants in the study indicated their smart phone is less than 5 feet from
them at any given time. It's like our culture is now more connected to their
smart phone than they are to their own family.
So, how can you tell if your smartphone
connection has become a full-blown addiction?
Here are the symptoms to watch out for
in you or a loved one –
·
Feeling stressed worried
or anxious whenever you don’t have your phone in your hand or sight, (like it was a small child that needed
constant attention)
·
Continually
checking your cellphone for new tweets/posts or the need to instantly respond
to text messages
·
Not really
listening to the person in front of you because you are “checking a text” or
posting a photo on Instagram or liking something on Pinterest.
·
Running an errand
and turning around because you left your phone on the charger. (what did we do at Publix before we had
smartphones to scan and comparison shop? Oh, that’s right, we had to think
ahead. Gotcha)
One of the elements of addictive
behavior is the classic denial dynamic that thinks, “well, I might have a problem, but my problem isn’t as bad as your
problem”. And while doing research on nomophobia came to understand I was
in the denial group. Simply stated – it had become a way bigger problem than I
ever realized.
Over the last week and half I’ve had
time to write some letters, read 3 books and exercise more. I helped a friend
and got more sleep. Where did all the time come from? You guessed it – not
having a phone to continually check, monitor and respond to. It’s hard to admit
it but I was way too connected to my mobile phone and was more stressed because
of it. Here’s how I define cellphone stress.
S - Self-Absorbed
T- Tired
R - Rushed
E - Exhausted
S - Serious
S - Solitude
The last one may seem unusual to you,
but clinical research shows the more someone uses technology or social media, the
less they are really connected to people. That’s right. MORE = LESS. More social media = less connection to real people
and that’s a very bad trade.
Anything can be abused to the point of
dependence or addiction, including smartphones. It’s interesting to notice as culture
becomes hungrier for smarter/faster technology to stay connected that cellphone-free
zones are more common. Remember when restaurants and airports began to ban
public smoking because it affected others? Now the same places are banning
cellphone use by creating "Quiet
Zones” and one chain even offers discounts for guests who deposit their
mobile device with the hostess to pick up after their meal.
Maybe the rapid rise of smart phones
that lead to dumb behavior, (for me
wasting a lot of time), has reached a peak because there are national
campaigns to get people to turn off their smartphones for a day, (Serenity Saturdays), I’ve heard that
many spiritual leaders take a ‘Fast” from technology to better hear from God
and the 9% of people in the US who don’t have cellphones mostly don’t want
them. Why? Because they have less stress from the simplicity of their lives. I define this type of minimalist change in
these words -
S - Self-Aware
I - Insightful
M - Meditation
P - Peaceful
L - Listening
E- Experience Life
Losing a phone, (or having it stolen as the case might be), might make some people
panic, but the experience has given me a welcome respite to a simpler life. It’s been almost two weeks without the
temptation to check messages at traffic lights. Instead I listen to music safe
for the little ears on www.Zradio.com or audiobooks from the Library. I’m
able to watch people in public places, or read another book on my Kindle. When
our family watched a movie, I actually watched the movie, instead of checking
the time or texts on the phone in my hand.
In short - my life is simpler with less
stress. Nomophobia for me turned into Mo-Life-to-Enjoy. Maybe it will for you
too. All it takes is a bathtub full of water.
(Update
– since writing this article I did surrender to the voices around me that said no
human could survive in today’s modern world without a cellphone… “It’s a safety
issue” they assured. So I went back to the drawer of old technology and found a
flip phone from 2009 and reactivated it. Works fine for calls and won’t play
“Words with Friends”. Saves money and time over the smartphone. Simple.)
About the author- Dwight Bain is dedicated to helping
people achieve greater results. He is a Nationally Certified Counselor and
Certified Life Coach in practice since 1984 with a primary focus on solving
crisis events and managing major change.
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