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Showing posts from June, 2013

Loneliness in Marriage

By Matt W. Sandford, LMHC
Loneliness can show up just about anywhere. There are the places that we expect it and we feel for those who are there. When it’s us we are comforted by the expectation; that is, that it seems about right to be feeling what we are feeling, given the particular circumstances. But then there are times when we really don’t expect it and we don’t know what to make of it. It flies in the face of our expectations, even after we have been married for some time. And what if it’s your marriage?
What if your expectations for your marriage have not been met? What if you fell in love and felt the thrill of finding the person that you could spend the rest of your life with? What if you went into this with your whole heart, ready to become one with someone, walk through life with them and “never be alone again”?
Life is hard. It’s even harder to do alone and many feel a longing in them to find someone to walk with, to have their back, through thick and thin. Someone they can…

Divorcing A Friend: 3 Things You Can Do if This Happens to You

By Laura Hull, LMFT
Coping Coach

When we think of or speak of divorce, most often we are talking in terms of firing a spouse.The dissolution of a marriage is heartbreaking, as assumingly former best friends are choosing to walk away from a life commitment to each other.As a Marriage and Family Therapist, I could write a lengthy blog describing the ripple effect of divorce and the fact that it changes the fabric of that person’s life forever.But you could read that same type of blog in many places on the Internet.I want to challenge you to consider a different kind of divorce…when a long term, close friendship ends.Of course, a friendship divorce is not a legal act, in the way that a divorce ends a legal marriage contract.But an emotional divorce is a parting of ways between two people who were once very bonded and the feeling of loss can be profound.

If we accept the statistics as true, that 50% of marriages fail, then a divorce article would not apply to a lot of readers.But I am willin…

Warning Signs You Are Married To A Control Freak

And Know When It’s Time to Get Out!
Brian M. Murray, MS, IMH
Sometimes when getting married, a person may unknowingly be tying the knot with some kind of controlling manipulator. So what does a controlling person look like?
Controlling people often manipulate others, seeking some kind of personal gain in return. They manipulate their spouse (or if dating, their significant other) into doing whatever it is they want. They do not invest time nurturing the marriage/relationship; instead they make everything all about them.
This type of person often expects others to serve them or to provide something for them. This type of behavior may even extend outside the marriage. In general, they very seldom show empathy or sympathetic behavior toward their spouse or others. They usually come across as very charming at first - that is until they do not get their way. Once that happens, the controlling power tactics show up. The superficial charm didn’t work so now force and coercion are used ins…

10 Ways to Stay Codependent

Brian M. Murray, MS, IMH
Codependency used to be associated only with those who are in a relationship with someone who has an addiction. Codependent is a term that arose out of the addiction community that addicts used to described the type of person to whom they would show love in order to use them as a resource to feed their habit.
More recently, codependency has been expanded as a broader term to describe a behavior pattern that can affect anyone, not just those who are in relationship with an addict. Codependency is identified when a person sacrifices their well-being in favor of the interests and well-being of others. The other is usually a person with whom they are in a significant or marriage relationship. Codependency can happen in other areas as well such as family, church and at work. While all people need community and to feel accepted, codependents go out of their way to get this acceptance and love from others, often to the detriment of their true self character and int…