I Need Counseling But Don't Have Time
By: Christine Hammond, LMHC
Do you ever feel like there isn’t enough time to do
everything that is needed, wanted, or demanded?
Time seems to slip by unnoticed like a thief in the night who has taken
all of your prized possessions with little satisfaction left over. Minutes turn into hours, hours turn into days
then years just disappear with hardly a remembrance of a fulfilled passion or
dream. The sadness looms over you and
knowing that some direction, guidance, wisdom and counsel is absolutely
essential just adds to the frustration of a ticking clock.
So when the stillness of the early morning hours finds you
pondering random thoughts over and over, you finally give in and get up
searching for answers. Googling results
in numerous blogs, all with helpful tips, but nothing really satisfies. Praying brings some peace but nothing really
changes. Even if a friend was awake the
conversation would result in a competition over how busy one person was over
the other. So what to do?
Organize time. “The Autobiography of Benjamin Franklin” has
an amazing (admittedly unattainable) daily calendar with hour by hour mapping
of time. While your workday is most
likely already on a calendar intermixed with demands of your family’s schedule,
scheduling time for “your” activities should also be evident. This should include days of intentional rest,
time for exercise, time for friends and even time set aside for a fun
activity. If it is on the calendar it is
likely to be done.
Prioritize time. Steven Covey has a wonderful time matrix (see
picture) separating daily tasks into priorities. The beauty of this matrix is the more you
focus on “Important, non-urgent” matters, the less will be forced into
“Important, urgent”. The exhaustion
from constantly dealing with “Important, urgent” matters drains all of your
creative energy because so much of it is needed just to overcome the challenge
of the crisis at hand.
Identify wasted time. Once life has been organized in time blocks
and prioritized by importance, then huge time wasters will rise to the
surface. Time wasters of TV watching,
busy work, and internet surfing are more obvious. But the worst time wasters are yet to
surface. Time wasters of wishing things
could be different, fantasying about winning the lottery,
obsessing over the last comment your boss made, or replaying the argument with
your husband are all wasted moments of opportunity.
Recognize productive
time. Gather all of the wasted time
into an imaginary block of time and put it towards an “Important, non-urgent”
issue. Counseling and coaching both best
belong in this category as they work towards goals. Too often, however, people wait until in
crisis mode because their marriage is falling apart or because of
unemployment. While counseling and
coaching can be helpful during these times, this is crisis time and not the
most productive time to be getting advice.
Most likely, there is time for counseling but things need to
be reorganized and prioritized in order to get there. Don’t wait; you won’t be disappointed with
the results and maybe a few extra hours of sleep will actually happen for a
change.
