There Ain't No Cure for the Summertime Blues? Nonsense!
4
Ways to Survive (and Thrive) During the Kids’ Summer Break
By Laura Hull, LMFT
Coping Coach
As the mother of six children, (4 boys,
two girls) ranging in age from 19-5, I frequently hear the bewildered comments
of dumbfounded others who look at me like I have three heads when I mention
that I have six children. I always look
forward to summer break with my kids, and experience a short period of mourning
when the school year resumes in August.
If I had a dollar for every time someone has said to me over the years,
“you must dread the summer break when all the kids are home at once,” I would
have the money to write this blog from the sunny beaches on the south of
France. I love having my kids home for summer break. However, there are reasons why it works. Chaos is not allowed to reign and boredom is
not allowed. Not every minute of summer
break needs to be structured, but time should not be wasted, either. Here are
some suggestions that have worked in my home:
- Have A Plan!
Sit down with your kids
today and start an active discussion about what they would like to do with their time this summer. At first, you may get the requisite “I
don’t know” answers. But prod by
making specific suggestions in order to get the ball rolling. Make a list of activities and post them
on the refrigerator. Do the
footwork to make those things happen.
Get dates, times, costs and start adding events to the
calendar. Don’t leave the
discussion hanging without coming up with a fairly detailed tentative
plan. Did you know that Vacation
Bible Schools are happening all over the place during the summer? This is a great way to spend some time
with peers over the summer, while also learning important spiritual
lessons. These week-long events are
usually for a few hours per day and often free or with a very nominal
charge to cover material costs. If
your child is interested in day camps or week-long camps, summer is the
perfect time to explore interests that perhaps cannot be explored during
the school year due to time constraints.
Camps are great ways to spend time over the summer if your child has interest in going. One downside to the camps is often the
cost involved. Camps should be
incorporated into the summer schedule only if there is interest in going
and if the cost does not create a financial hardship. Many children are in daycare situations
during the summer due to parents’ work schedules. These, of course, provide much structure
and stimulation during the work week.
If your child/children are in daycare all day, Monday through
Friday, make a deliberate effort to build quality family time into the weekend
schedule. It is very easy to allow
weekends to become “catch up” time for house projects, etc. But it’s crucial to make family time on the weekends. Children can, of course, be included in
household projects, as is age appropriate.
But do NOT let an entire weekend go by without some down time….do
something just plain ol’ fun!
- Be Willing to Scrap the Plan! Be
flexible. Sometimes even the
best-laid plans must be scrapped or adjusted. This is not a tragedy. The beauty of summer break is the
ability to change things up. Do not
become flustered if trips must be changed or abandoned due to unforeseen
circumstances. Illnesses happen,
children lose interest in certain activities; sometime kids just need down
time to do nothing. Did you catch that last statement? Sometimes kids need permission to just
do nothing and veg. I think it’s
very easy for us, as parents, to want to involve our kids in as many
opportunities as possible, to give them the exposure to many things in
order to develop their interests and skill sets. Like adults, kids can experience burnout
too. It just looks different on a
child. I have been guilty of this,
as well, more so when my older children were younger. Try to build at least one day into every
week that is truly flexible - time-wise and activity-wise. Be flexible enough to accommodate
impromptu play dates with friends and last minute activities/invites as
they come along.
- Give Kids Some Responsibilities! Make a
very direct and specific list of things to be addressed over the
summer. Perhaps set an expectation
for assigned reading. (eg. three novel length books over the summer, or
whatever is age appropriate).
Another suggestion is to make each child responsible for choosing,
planning and executing the preparation for dinner one night per week. This is appropriate for school age
children, with the amount of adult supervision being contingent on age and
previous experience. Pre-teens and
older are most often very capable of researching recipes online, planning
grocery lists, and preparing a meal.
Teens should be capable of this with little or no direct
supervision. Even younger children
are capable of helping (with plenty of adult supervision) make cookies or
other types of baking (helping grease and flour plans, adding ingredients
to the mixing bowls, etc.) If your
children are not comfortable in the kitchen, make this summer the summer
they learn! Pre-teen and older
children can be taught how to competently wash and dry their own clothes
without ruining them. These types
of skills must be learned at some point anyway, and give kids a feeling of
accomplishment when they do them successfully. So why not start now? Keeping bedrooms clean, and other
household chores should be very manageable over the summer. Require it.
- Be
Patient, Loving and Kind With Your Children We only
have a limited number of summers with our children at home. While it is very easy to feel flustered
with the demands of parenthood, the reality is that time is fleeting. It’s so cliché to say “it only seems
like yesterday when they were just babies”, but it’s true. PARENTS: you
have the power to create memories for your children. They will remember how much time you
spent or did not spend with them.
They will remember if you were patient and kind, or if you were
irritated and impatient most of the time.
They will remember if you were truly engaged with them or
dismissive and too busy to be bothered.
These days of childhood are numbered and what you do with them can
determine the kinds of people they will be in life, and the kind of
relationship you have with them in their adult lives. WHAT
YOU DO RIGHT NOW MATTERS.
Make the decision right now that this summer will be the
summer that you and they will remember fondly.
It is within your power and control to make this happen. Create some beautiful memories with your
children. It will mean a lot to them
now, and they will remember it later.
It will mean even more to you
later. Trust. Make it happen.
