Four Unorthodox Approaches to Lowering Your Stress
By Matt W. Sandford, LMHC
If you’re stressed out, you’ve probably tried something to
deal with it, to feel better. Maybe it’s been the “plow ahead” method, which
would be trying harder to fix the obstacle that is causing a lot of your
stress, or there’s the opposite method, which is the “ostrich approach”,
meaning the trying-to-ignore-it-and-hoping-it-goes-away approach. I get them
both and have used them often enough myself. For the smaller stresses of life,
these approaches can help us and sometimes they are enough. But usually for the
bigger stresses, or when the stressors pile up, these approaches don’t cut it.
You’ve probably tried others as well; ones that you’ve read about or a friend
recommended, like exercise or yoga, or getting better sleep. I am all for
these, but if you’re looking for something else to try, I’ve got a few ideas
that are a bit different. Keep in mind that what you are looking for is a
strategy that works for you, and since we are all unique, what helps us to
lower our stress will have a unique bent to it that fits us. That’s what you’re
aiming for, a blend of strategies that fit you.
1.
The
principle of turning away.
This
principle is for those of us who tend towards the “plow ahead” method. If you
are more performance or task-oriented and generally feel that you will feel
better if you just check one more thing off or get out from under this one huge
task, then this one may be for you. It’s based on the law of diminishing
returns. The law is defined as “the tendency for a continuing application of
effort or skill toward a particular project or goal to decline in effectiveness
after a certain level of result has been achieved.” I like the way a friend of
mine used to describe it. He would say that he really likes cheeseburgers, so,
he eats one and it is very good. He decides to have another and it also tastes
really good. He decides he wants a third. He is getting rather full. He then
chooses to have a fourth cheeseburger. And now his level of enjoyment has begun
to wane. And if he decides to have another (and is able to eat another) his
enjoyment will likely drop even lower. Okay, how does the rule apply? Well,
when we get stressed out and try to press on through a burdensome task, at some
point our level of productivity, along with our ability to focus and our
cognitive sharpness will diminish. We continue to work but now we are getting
less and less from our efforts. Our stress is building and so we try harder.
This is the point at which turning away is the most ‘productive’ thing you
could do. Stop focusing on the stressor and turn away. Focus on something else
entirely and take a break. Just giving yourself permission to step away usually
will lower your stress level.
2.
Journaling
Your Stress Away
Here’s something not many would think about
in the midst of stress. Sit down and process your thoughts and feelings by
writing them out. Let me clarify; this is not all about problem solving –
writing out strategies for fixing your problems. This is instead sorting out
your inner world; how those problems or challenges are affecting you and your
perceptions about those things and about yourself. You see, we don’t just live
our lives dealing with stuff and moving on to the next thing. Life is not just
about the stuff going on – it’s much more about what God is doing behind all
the stuff to grow and develop us and use us to accomplish his wonderful
purposes. We need to tap into what God is working in us – and our stressors are
often very likely places where God wants to open our eyes and help us change
for the better.
3.
Generosity
Probably not high on your list of things to
do to relieve your stress would be to look for a way to bless someone else - to
give something away, to help or serve someone - especially if a large portion
of your stress involves financial stressors. But that’s exactly what I am
recommending because doing so forces you to get beyond your own life and look
farther. Many times stress, pressure, fear and anxiety tend to narrow our
vision and cause us to become self-focused and self-absorbed. We lose sight of
how we aren’t the only ones in this world struggling and with problems. We get
caught up in our own in such a way that causes them to grow and seem bigger
than they are, which increases our stress and makes it harder to overcome.
Lifting our eyes to see others can shake us out of our funk. When I was in
college, during finals week I would sit with my friends at the cafeteria and we
would grumble about our studies. Inevitably, someone would say something to the
effect of, “yeah, the poor and the destitute have it so good.” We then would
laugh and remember that our lives really weren’t so bad. It was a great breath
of fresh air. Blessing someone else reminds us that we are a part of the human
struggle – together.
4.
Worship
The fourth concept in a way combines these
other three concepts. When we turn away, when we ponder what our stressors
mean, and when we lift our eyes beyond our circumstances – we have moved
ourselves into position to worship. Focusing on ourselves and on our stressors
are hindrances to worshipping God. And yet those same stressors are ironically
great motivators to worship God. My stress can be a distraction, or it can draw
me to the Father, aiding me to see his glory through the eyes of my mundane,
earthly struggles. It is the contrast between my everyday existence and the
infinite and yet personal God that magnifies God and helps me to seek him out.
I need his wonder to lift me, to remind me, to give meaning to the everyday.
And then – God shows up in our stressors when we chose to put him first and
worship him and not the stuff. Matt 6:33
But
let all who take refuge in you rejoice; let them ever sing for joy, and spread
your protection over them, that those who love your name may exult in you.
Psalm 5:11
I
have set the Lord always before me; because he is at my right hand, I shall not
be shaken. Psalm 16:8
I
call upon the Lord and I am saved from my enemies. Psalm 18:3
I
believe that I shall look upon the goodness of the Lord in the land of the
living!
Wait
for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord!
Psalm 27:13-14
The
Lord is my strength and my shield; in him my heart trusts, and I am helped; my
heart exults, and with my song I give thanks to him. Psalm 28:7
If you are under stress, anxious, feeling stuck, then give
one or more of these a try.
If you aren’t currently burdened by stressors, then I would
recommend incorporating one or more of these approaches now – as ways to ward
off stress.
They work in that way, too!
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