Proverbs 31: Verse by Verse, Part 3
By Chris Hammond
Proverbs
31:1.
King Solomon opens the chapter by recalling instructions that were given
to him at a younger age by his mother.
These verses are meant not for women to follow but rather for young men
who are dating and looking to find a wife.
It is an older woman’s reflection and advice given to her son on the
type of woman that is good to marry well before he becomes King.
Proverbs
31:2.
The close relationship between Solomon and his mother is seen in these
passages as she identifies him as her dearly loved son whom she devoted to
God. This further indicates that the
name “Lemuel” is not a real name but rather one that is a familiar name only
known to Solomon and his parents.
Proverbs
31:3.
Bathsheba’s opening plea is simple, “do not waste your strength on
women, on those who ruin kings”.
Solomon’s time, energy and effort have been sorely misplaced and she is
begging him to choose a different path.
Looking back at David’s life and the many wives he had including
Bathsheba, it is possible that she is begging Solomon not to follow in his
father’s footsteps when it comes to the type of women he marries.
Proverbs
31:4-7. The son, Solomon, is a
partier. He goes out, gets drunk, and
hangs out with the wrong crowd. The
problem is that he is destined to become King and his behavior is not fitting
for a King. This advice is clearly given
by his concerned mother before Solomon becomes King and before he is
married. His partying behavior could
also be seen as a continuation of the troubles that David faced with his sons
as a result of the adultery with Bathsheba.
Clearly Solomon was not aware that his half-brother was making a move to
take the Kingdom over or he would have been the one pleading with his father
instead of his mother (1 Kings 1:5-53).
Proverbs
31:8-9. These verses paint a very
different picture of what Bathsheba believes is appropriate behavior for a
young King. She is contrasting his
current behavior with what it could be and perhaps is reminding him of his own
vision of the Kingdom, his desire to reign well, and his full potential as the
future King. It is not unusual for a
mother to see the best in their child and want them to accomplish all that they
are capable of becoming; this is Bathsheba’s hope for her son.
Proverbs
31:10-31.
Bathsheba’s advice to Solomon was not about a woman as she appears
today, but rather what is able to become in the future. She is painting a picture of the ideal wife
at the prime of her life that is direct contrast to the parting women Solomon
was hanging around. In her subtle way,
she is also painting a picture of how to treat a wife, how to be a good
husband, and how to lead.
Proverbs
31:10. This verse indicates that
finding a good woman is hard and requires some searching. The type of women around Solomon were most
likely not hard to find, rather they were easy to come by. In addition, their mothers’ most likely
partook in the gossip mill that destroyed Bathsheba’s reputation, further
adding insult to injury.
Proverbs
31:11-12. This information then
explains the next two verses reminding Solomon how quickly a man’s reputation
can be destroyed by one bad mistake. A
lesson that was not lost on his mother.
All of her motherly instincts would be to protect her son from the same
pitfalls as her husband and herself, so she pleads with him to behave differently. Talk about love. To be able to look back at your life and see
where your actions and behavior caused damage to someone you love takes
strength and courage. To take the next
step and beg your son not to marry someone like your former self requires
humility. These verses are spoken with
deep regret for her part in the adultery and a desire for her son Solomon to
have a better life. Solomon, as the
author of these verses, must have looked back on his own life regretting that
he did not heed his mother’s advice. He
did not take the time to search for one wife; rather he married anyone and
everyone whom he desired.
Proverbs
31:13, 19, 21, 22, 24. Bathsheba
describes a woman who is a seamstress by trade.
She buys wool and flax (31:13), spins it into thread (31:19), turns it
into beautiful garments for herself (31:22), into clothing for her family
(31:21), into bedspreads (31:22) and finally into garments that she sells to
others (31:24). It is not likely that
Bathsheba would be a seamstress nor that she would be selling things to
others. So these verses are about
someone else. It could have been her
mother or grandmother or it could have been someone who sold merchandise to her
family. Whoever it was, it was a woman
that Bathsheba respected and idealized.
A woman she would have been close enough to know all of the work that
goes into making a garment, for she did not miss a step and is very specific
about the details.
Proverbs 31:
16, 18. The earnings earned by the
woman Bathsheba describes she uses to purchase land and turn it into a vineyard
(31:16) but this was not her primary business as the details are much less
specific. However, she does not keep a
business that isn’t profitable (31:18) and works hard to ensure that her
businesses are successful (31:18).
Again, this is not behavior fitting the future Queen mother but is most
likely someone close to Bathsheba because of the very personal information she
knows about this woman.
Proverbs
31:18. The woman described is also
not a young woman but married with two successful small businesses, children
and a household large enough for servants.
Clearly, Bathsheba is not recommending that Solomon marry her at this
point in her life but rather look for a woman with similar aspirations for the
future. It is also the portrait of a
wealthy woman but not one who inherited the wealth or married into wealth but
one who earned it. Instead it is a woman
who contributes greatly to the finances of her household.
Proverbs
31:14-15, 21, 26-27. The
woman also takes care of her household servants by feeding them, providing for
them, instructing them, being kind to them, and respecting them. She is not rude or belittling to her staff
but rather knows how to lead without being harsh. She doesn’t hoard her position of authority
over them and is a good example of a servant leader. Bathsheba, having received such harsh treatment
by others, could be talking about herself in these verses. She would have been much more compassionate
with the pitfalls and short-comings of others after she experienced the very
public disgrace.
Proverbs
31:20. The woman’s generosity
extends to those outside her household as she freely gives to those in need. This too could be Bathsheba talking about
herself as the needy have no reason to reject a helping hand from someone with
a poor reputation.
Proverbs
31:17, 25-26, 30. The character of Bathsheba’s woman is
described as energetic, strong, hard-worker, dignified, fearless, wise, and
kind. She is not lazy, passive, fearful,
foolish, harsh, or weak. Such women
would have easily described the partiers that Solomon was hanging around and
the exact type of women that Bathsheba did not want him to enmesh with for the
rest of his life. Sadly, this is exactly
the mistake that he did make.
Proverbs
31:28-29, 31. The woman mentioned is
praised by her husband, her household, her community, and her children. This is a tall order to be praised by so many
areas and can only be accomplished after a lifetime of achievement. Bathsheba did not achieve this and her desire
for her son to do better is powerful.
Solomon who sees at the end that he did not heed his mother’s advice,
now during his reign as King sees the value in it and implores others to
listen.
Proverbs
31:11, 23, 28-29. Only
four verses reference the husband of Bathsheba’s woman. He trusts his wife because she adds value to
their lives, he is well liked in the community, has a position of authority, is
willing to give his wife the recognition that she deserves and clearly adores
his wife. Based on how David treated
Bathsheba at the end of his life by giving the throne as promised to Solomon,
it is possible that she is describing him.
A true love story to the end, with a very rocky beginning, Bathsheba’s
wish was for her son to treat his wife as well as she was treated.
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"Reprinted with permission from the LifeWorks Group weekly eNews, (Copyright, 2004-2012), To subscribe to this valuable counseling and coaching resource visit www.LifeWorksGroup.org or call 407-647-7005"
About the author- Chris Hammond is a Registered Mental Health Counselor Intern at LifeWorks Group w/ over 15 years of experience as a counselor, mentor & teacher for children, teenagers & adults.
"Reprinted with permission from the LifeWorks Group weekly eNews, (Copyright, 2004-2012), To subscribe to this valuable counseling and coaching resource visit www.LifeWorksGroup.org or call 407-647-7005"
About the author- Chris Hammond is a Registered Mental Health Counselor Intern at LifeWorks Group w/ over 15 years of experience as a counselor, mentor & teacher for children, teenagers & adults.