Lost or Lonely? Here's Hope!

By Dwight Bain

Do you remember the classic pop song that included the lyric - “Look at all the lonely people.” I sure do, especially since it perfectly described how I felt during a dark time in high school. I felt completely lost and lonely… literally like no one cared. Those negative emotions didn’t stop with loneliness… no, they kept sliding into more sadness and even pity. It was a deep hole, but thankfully my parents saw me sliding away and made an appointment for me to talk with my youth pastor, Dave Hurd.

Brother Dave, as I knew him, helped me see beyond my loneliness and almost 40 years later I’m still grateful. God used his life to challenge me to climb out of that dark place and now I want to share with you the insight he gave me so long ago. My hope is that this truth would help you and those you love to not spend one more day feeling lost and lonely. Picture being in a pastor’s office to hear these words of wisdom that were life-changing for me. 

First, realize that you are not a victim and you are not invisible. God designed you with a special purpose, even if you can’t see it right now. Your life counts, never forget that.

Next, focus on how valuable you are to God… He would rather let His own Son die than live without you. Once you can see your personal value to God, then search to see how your values line up with others. Do you like music? Is there a choir you could get involved with? What about community service? Consider seeking out a ministry that feeds the homeless. Do you like helping abandoned animals? Is there an animal shelter nearby? 

As you move from invisible to visible through connection to others or elevated volunteer activities people will begin to recognize you as someone with a caring heart. It will take a little time, perhaps weeks, but if you press on to be available to help others, they will begin to notice you.

Another approach is to get verbal, to speak up with new confidence. People always admire someone who is able to voice issues clearly. The world’s largest speech club meets in over 6100 locations globally. It’s called “Toastmasters International” and is a gentle way to gain new skills to speak to others without the fear. (find out more about this community based communications club by visiting www.toastmasters.org/ )

Years ago a wise youth pastor gave me the courage to step out of my fearful shell and now decades later I challenge you to do the same. St. Paul taught a young man names Timothy about stepping up to face issues with new courage, Listen to His wise words, “God has not given us the Spirit of Fear, but a Spirit of Power, of Love and of a Clear Mind.” (2 Timothy 1:7) Those words aren’t just for Timothy… they are for you too if you decide to move from feeling lost and lonely to moving forward in feeling connected and cared for. It won’t be fast or easy, but it will be deeply fulfilling and then you won’t feel lonely anymore.


About the author- Dwight Bain is dedicated to helping people achieve greater results. He is a Nationally Certified Counselor and Certified Life Coach in practice since 1984 with a primary focus on solving crisis events and managing major change.

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