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Showing posts from 2009

Merry Christmas, Dad!

Coping with Grief in the Holiday Season

By: Aaron Welch, LMHC, NCC, CSOTS

I doubt if this article will be very long in comparison to most that I write. The topic is far too difficult for me to “go there” for too long. The truth is that, once again, I must deal with mourning my father through the holiday season.

One would think that grieving would eventually dissipate; that three years after the death of my dad, I could just focus my attention on Christmas without having to feel the pangs of hurt in my heart…without the gnawing sensation left in the void of my heart where my dad’s presence occupied while he was on this earth. Yet, 2006 seems like so long ago….and just yesterday. So, Christmas is three days away and my thoughts drift towards the man who raised me.
No, my sorrow has not ended. From talking to those who have lost loved ones before me, I’m not sure it will ever fully disappear. I doubt if I will ever feel the same as before he passed away…

Thriving Through the Holidays

by Jim Rohn

The holidays are upon us; a time of celebration and joy. I love the last days of November through the beginning of the New Year. The pure magic of the holidays is something that I anticipate and enjoy each and every year.

For some though, the holidays have lost the joy and excitement they at other times have had. The pace of life has grown so fast—much faster than those first holidays I remember in my life—that some people don’t enjoy the times they get to spend with their family and friends during what is supposed to be days filled with joy and peace.

Why is that? Probably a lot can be laid at the feet of how fast-paced our times are, but that isn’t all.

I believe our holiday times should be wonderful and filled with lasting and enjoyable moments and memories. So how can we ensure that we come out of the holidays in January with great memories of the past month? Here are six thoughts that will help you experience the holidays the way they were intended to be experienced:

Be Te…

Four Words the Make Life Worthwhile

by Jim Rohn, Business Mentor & Master Coach

Over the years as I've sought out ideas, principles and strategies to life's challenges, I've come across four simple words that can make living worthwhile.

First, life is worthwhile if you LEARN.
What you don't know WILL hurt you. You have to have learning to exist, let alone succeed. Life is worthwhile if you learn from your own experiences - negative or positive. We learn to do it right by first sometimes doing it wrong. We call that a positive negative. We also learn from other people's experiences, both positive and negative. I've always said that it is too bad failures don't give seminars. Obviously, we don't want to pay them so they aren't usually touring around giving seminars. But that information would be very valuable – we would learn how someone who had it all then messed it up. Learning from other people's experiences and mistakes is valuable information because we can learn what not to d…

The Passing of a Legend

With great sadness we share that Jim Rohn, our mentor and friend, left us December 5, 2009 for a better place.

Over the past 18 months, in his battle with Pulmonary Fibrosis, Jim assured us with a smile that all is good, that he would fight until the last breath, yet he had no fear as to what would be next. Jim’s faith was as much a part of his life as his desire to inspire and challenge us all to be the best we could be and to live our dreams.

Jim’s courage in his final months and days were a testament to his message that we should all fight the good fight. He never gave up and never gave in.

Jim Rohn touched millions of lives over the past 46 years through his seminars, books, articles and CDs. He always stayed long after an event t o shake hands, take pictures and sign autographs. He loved making a difference in people’s lives, that was his passion and inspiration. Yet he was also a private man who kept a small, loyal and caring inner circle. He was a tremendous friend to those who kn…

She lives in you... the Krystal Thomas story

As told by Dwight Bain

Krystal Thomas is a champion in anyone’s book. By age 18 the 6’ 5” center had led her high school basketball team to back to back state championships with an average of 19 points/12 rebounds and named State Finals MVP both years. She had played in national tournaments like the McDonalds’s All America Game- where she led her East team to a victory, the WBCA All-America Game, (Women’s Basketball Coaches Association), the AAU Nationals and Nike Tournament of Champions. She had been named Miss Florida Basketball, the Gatorade State Player of the Year and earned USA Today, EA Sports, McDonald’s and Parade first team All-America for her high school career totaling 1,751 points, 1,357 rebounds and 268 blocks. She had won a full scholarship to play for the Lady Blue Devils of Duke University with her remarkable sports career as a teenager and she’s just getting started!

This outstanding athlete is already on the fast track to the Olympics by leading her USA Under19 Team…

Beating The Cheating

Restoring a Marriage Ravaged by Infidelity

By: Aaron Welch, LMHC, NCC, CSOTS

Carrie Underwood, former American Idol winner and now-famous country singer made a fortune off her hit, “Before He Cheats”, describing her violent and destructive reaction to discovering her man at a bar with another woman. She speculates about how he is wooing this other woman while she, herself, slashes his truck tires, busts out his headlights, and basically destroys his prized pickup. Apparently, this song struck a chord with America. The song rocked the music charts, stayed #1 for 5 weeks, and won the People’s Choice award in 2007 for “favorite country music song”.

Infidelity in marriage has always been a major problem. In ancient days and in some cultures it was accepted as the norm….even expected…that a husband would take a lover in addition to his wife. Of course, that attitude has changed in our society and in our time but infidelity continues to be prevalent, wreaking havoc on thousa…

Warning Signs of Cheating Partners

Warning Signs of Cheating Partners
These are the most common signs of a partner who has detached from you because they are attached to someone else. Check off any of these traits you have seen in your relationship over the last 6 – 12 months. Be honest, the future of your relationship together could depend on it.

Spiritual
____ You find your partner has been lying to you about a variety of topics
____ Your partner abandons their religious belief system
____ Your spouse seems more secretive or deceptive
____ Abandoning faith or previously held values or morals
____ Not trustworthy or constant violations of trust
____ Secrecy or unusual activity that is very out of character for them
____ Your partner is disrespectful or rude to those who hold traditional values

Behavioral
____ Mate is working longer hours on the job and not coming home as much
____ Your spouse has become lazy, especially with household responsibilities
____ Working late every day, with no noticeable increase of income or…

Infidelity Quotes

Lust makes us think that having some person we don’t presently have would make us happier. Often that person is simply a figment of our imagination. Even if the person is real, we often attach character traits to him or her that are not real. Usually our lust focuses on sexual involvement. We imagine someone who is terribly fond of us and who prefers our presence and intimacy over anyone else’s. We imagine that if we had such a person to hold in our arms, it would be exciting and wonderfully fulfilling. This is a terrible deception, for it’s a self-centered form of love and we ignore the devastating consequences of living out our imaginations. - Dr. Gary Smalley

Statistically only 3% of married men marry their affair partners and if they do only 3% of these marriages work. "Unfortunately, once the affair becomes a marriage, the same traits the man brought with him to his first marriage, he brings with him to the second. He likely blames his wife for where he’s at, and he’ll likely…

Ann Landers advice for a good life

"To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me. It is the most-requested column I've ever written, so here it is once more." - Ann Landers

1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
2.. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your
friends and parents will. Stay in touch..
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.
8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.
10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.
12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.
13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what
their journey is all about.
14. If a relationship has to be a sec…

Coping Skills to try after a Crisis

Structure your time- keep busy.
You’re normal and having normal reactions- don’t label yourself crazy.
Talk to people- talk is the most healing medicine.
Be aware of numbing the pain with overuse of drugs or alcohol, you don’t need to complicate this with a substance abuse problem.
Reach out- people do care.
Maintain as normal a schedule as possible.
Spend time with others.
Help your co-workers as much as possible by sharing feelings and checking out how they are doing.
Give yourself permission to feel rotten and share your feelings with others.
Keep a journal; write your way through those sleepless hours.
Do things that feel good to you.
Realize those around you are under stress.
Don’t make any big life changes.
Don’t make as many daily decisions as possible which will give you a feeling of control over your life, that is, if someone ask you what you want to eat-answer them even if you’re not sure.
Get plenty of rest.
Reoccurring thoughts, dreams, flashbacks are normal- don’t try to fight them- th…

Things to Remember After a Crisis

There is no such thing as a ‘normal’ reaction to an overwhelming event. So expect a wide range of reactions in yourself and others who experienced the critical incident. Emotional reactions can be extreme, but will soften with time as you talk to others and follow some basic principles that have helped thousands to recover after a crisis. The following steps are designed to guide you from stress and panic to feeling peace again.

Remember the process toward lasting recovery involves self care, buddy or team care and then other care. If you don’t take care of yourself you won’t have any energy to reach out to others. As you stay focused through the crisis recovery process you can reach out to your fellow team members in strength to help them through the stress.

You’ll get by with a little help from your friends and family. Talking about your reactions with people you care about and who care about you can help you as well as them to get through this difficult time faster. Reach out your ha…

Spare the Rod?

Is Spanking a Child Harmful or Helpful? – Part 7
By Dr. Walt Larimore
Wednesday, 28 October 2009

Opposition to parents spanking their children has been growing significantly in elite circles over the past few years. And, my blogs on spanking are among the most read of those I publish. Therefore, I’ve decided to, with the help of the research of my friends Den Trumbull, MD, S. DuBose Ravenel, MD, to look a the arguments used against spanking, to see if they hold any water. This is the seventh of a 12 part series that counters


More Information:
Argument #6: Spanking teaches a child that “might makes right,” that power and strength are most important and that the biggest can force their will upon the smallest.

Counterpoint: Parental power is commonly exerted in routine child rearing and spanking is only one example. Other situations where power and restraint are exercised by the average parent include:The young child who insists on running from his parent in a busy mall or parking lot.The todd…

Momentum Breakers vs Momentum Makers

by Dr. John C. Maxwell

A train travelling 55 mph on a railroad track can crash through a 5-foot thick steel-reinforced concrete wall without stopping. That same train, starting from a stationary position, won't be able to go through an inch-thick block in front of the driving wheel.

It is never the size of your problem that is the problem. It's a lack of momentum. Without momentum, even a tiny obstacle can prevent you from moving forward. With momentum, you'll navigate through problems and barely even notice them.

As a leader, your responsibility is to understand momentum, to get it moving for your organization, and to sustain it over time. Momentum can be tricky to comprehend, though, often appearing elusive and intangible. In this article, my goal is to give you handles so that you can better recognize how to generate momentum in your workplace. To help you grasp the concept of momentum, I'll outline ten momentum breakers alongside ten momentum makers.
Momentum Breakers …

Why Can't I Focus on God Today? Am I Spiritually A.D.D?

By Aaron Welch, LMHC, NCC, CSOTS

This article may be less like an article than any I’ve written before. Normally, I really have a grasp of what I’m going to write before I ever write it but, today, the title of my article is an honest question. Truly, why CAN’T I focus on God today? I mean, I’ve done everything I normally would do to spend time with my Creator. I’ve read my Bible, with a focus on how the words relate to my own life right now. I prayed that God would convict me of how I can apply the messages to my own life. I barely got through 3 chapters and, normally, I can read much more, not because I feel obligated, but because I enjoy them. But today, I had to stop because I couldn’t focus. I thought that, perhaps, I needed to spend some time in the awesome workbook, “Experiencing God” and so I read and meditated on the next daily devotional time. It was great! It had some really great ideas about being a godly parent, a topic that TOTALLY is a passion for m…

LEFTHANDED SOLDIERS

By Gary Eby, Motivational Speaker

Lefthanded Soldiers is dedicated to all of those who have been wounded in life ... whether physically, emotionally, spiritually, or financially and yet, against all odds, have risen from the devastation to become a champion!

There are few things in life that move me like seeing someone overcome adversity. I believe that there are great men and women from all walks of life, who, because of some “event” or series of events, have pretty much given up. Somewhere between brokenness and bitterness many have laid down their proverbial swords and surrendered. They’ve been wounded. Lefthanded Soldiers teaches us that when we are wounded … when our “right arms” have been hurt … that we can become Lefthanded Soldiers rather than allowing our circumstances to condemn us to a life of “what-ifs.” How many great leaders are no longer leading?

What will our society suffer because the leadership we need is somewhere hurting rather than rallying the troops? What great…

The High Road Principle

By Dr. John C. Maxwell

"It's nothing personal; it's just business," is a commonly heard phrase in the workplace. However, I tend to disagree with anyone who tries to impersonalize business. At its heart, commerce is a human enterprise, founded upon relationships between people.

Most of us spend a majority of our waking hours in our business or at work, and our vocations endow our lives with meaning or purpose. When we devote ourselves to profession, we're giving a piece of who we are to our work. In that sense, business is deeply personal.

In the workplace, as in the rest of life, relationships get messy. Sooner or later, we will be mistreated. A boss will unjustly fault our performance, a partner will fail to honor an agreement, or a co-worker will cut us down in a meeting. Since business is personal, those instances hurt us, and unless dealt with correctly, they can derail us. As a leader, we have to commit to taking the high road when others, intentionally or uni…

5 Strategies to Make Strong Decisions

By Dwight Bain, Certified Life Coach

One of my favorite sayings to share with people facing a major decision is "you always have options." Yet in challenging times people are often so frozen by fear from making a wrong decision that they don't make a decision at all and life passes them by. Think of how many events in life are complicated or missed completely because of the roadblock of being afraid to fail by making a decision and then making that decision work…
Marriages that didn't happen because of a shy guy with cold feet
Promotions that never occurred because of the fear of asking for it
Scholarships left on a table somewhere because someone was afraid to fill out the paperwork
Trips to exotic places that were always talked about but never taken because no one sat down to schedule it
Relationships that failed because someone didn't decide to work on issues and quietly let things 'slip, slide away'
Forgiveness that was never granted because someone never go…

Keeping Your Cool Even When the Holidays Get Hot

Dealing with the Stress of the Holiday Season

By Aaron Welch, LMHC, NCC, CSOTS

Ah yes, the holidays. For many, it is a blissful time of reflection, renewal of relationships, and a much-needed respite in the midst of the chaotic monotony of life.

Unfortunately, for others, the holidays represent loneliness, a spiraling into depression, and the inevitable flashes of anger at family get-togethers. Yes, it’s true. Even if you can effectively avoid familial conflict for the rest of the year many cannot escape the hungry clutches of anger and conflict that arise within the holiday season.

Why does this happen? What universal forces are at play in these unhappy annual confrontations? Why is it that, at many holiday tables, tempers flare like the eruption of Vesuvius?

Truth be told there are too many reasons to count but here is a sliver of them:

-Holidays often emphasize to us how rough the year has been
(perhaps we have less money for Christmas)

-The joy in others can irritate the depr…