The Lifeworks Group, Inc.

 By: Brian Murray, LMHC, NCC Taking things personally is attributed to low self esteem behavior. Low self esteem is caused by a negative view someone takes of themselves. This view creates a distortion of how you see yourself which translates into a negative perception of how you think someone else may see you. If you have a strong sense of low self worth and shame and don’t think highly of yourself, you will think and feel someone else may have the same viewpoint. This personal devaluation is like a filter that creates a distorted sense of self. So when somebody says something to us, the filter that we use to view ourselves gets applied to the incoming message. The message gets distorted by “personally” applying that filter. For example; a message that was meant for something good or positive gets filtered out and gets received as something bad. It got personalized. In order to stop taking things personally the filter has to change. This requires building in new thinking...

By: Megan Brewer, IMH Perfectionism costs us more than we realize and takes more energy than we are willing to admit. Many people will wear perfectionism around like a badge or as a description of who they are. They explain their actions or thoughts by saying nonchalantly, “I’m just a perfectionist.” But perfectionism is not an identity. It’s much more a method of survival we have adopted to protect ourselves from the parts of us we feel are inadequate or not enough.  Striving for the impossible standards of perfectionism is like trying to fill a never-ending hole with more and more work and expecting it to one day be filled. Perfectionism is different from a good work ethic or being passionately driven towards a goal. Perfectionism is exhaustive striving, with no personal boundaries, in an attempt to make up what we feel is lacking in ourselves.  Perfectionism robs us of ourselves How aware are you of the moments when an image of your perceived ideal slides in...

By Matt W Sandford, LMHC At the beginning I hated the idea of going to counseling. It felt like an insult that someone had suggested it to me. I was sure that what they meant was, “there’s something wrong with you, something that you can’t fix on your own and you need help.” I had never thought of such a thing for myself, because I knew I was not in that category; meaning the group of people who are screw ups or losers who can’t make their life work or can’t fix themselves. It doesn’t mean that I did not think I had problems - oh no! Of many of those I was keenly aware (sort of). You see, I was a perfectionist. And that, unfortunately for me, doesn’t mean that you are more perfect than other people. It rather means that you are keenly aware of your imperfections and that you loathe every one of them. The reason the perfectionist loathes them is because they see their weaknesses and mistakes as representative of their defectiveness. And so they are driven in two ways – t...