The Lifeworks Group, Inc.

By: Brian Murray, LMHC, NCC A codependent is a person who has an unhealthy relational attachment to another person. It is also referred to as relationship or love addiction. Codependency was born out of the addiction field as someone who is an enabler of an addicted person. They get this way as they believe there is something they fix, rescue or control that will translate into the love they so desperately seek. The addicted person takes advantage of this need by using the codependent as a resource. This “resourcing” is provided in many forms such as food, housing, and money just to name a few. The term codependent has since morphed into identifying anyone who remains involved in an unhealthy relationship. This unhealthy attachment is due to some underlying fear that they will lose love or ultimately be alone. Once these feelings materialize, the codependent begins to do things to control relational outcomes. Codependency is a learned behavior that typically stems from childhood ...

Brian M. Murray, MS, IMH Codependency used to be associated only with those who are in a relationship with someone who has an addiction. Codependent is a term that arose out of the addiction community that addicts used to described the type of person to whom they would show love in order to use them as a resource to feed their habit. More recently, codependency has been expanded as a broader term to describe a behavior pattern that can affect anyone, not just those who are in relationship with an addict. Codependency is identified when a person sacrifices their well-being in favor of the interests and well-being of others. The other is usually a person with whom they are in a significant or marriage relationship. Codependency can happen in other areas as well such as family, church and at work. While all people need community and to feel accepted, codependents go out of their way to get this acceptance and love from others, often to the detriment of their true self character ...

  By Chris Hammond You thought that when the papers were signed for the divorce everything would be better and you would finally feel relief and calm.   But you don’t.   Somehow the hurt emotions intensify and unexpected emotions of remorse, sadness, and guilt pile on top of bitterness, resentment, and frustration.   This has left you confused, disoriented, and even wondering if you made a mistake.   You begin to relive the marriage all over again looking desperately for answers as to why this happened, what went wrong, and how could things have been dealt with differently.   But you are afraid to confine in friends and relatives because they have supported the divorce and your questioning is unwelcome after they have taken a stance for you. So you find yourself even more alone than before the divorce wondering if this lonely feeling will ever go away.   And it will, but not today or even tomorrow.   A divorce is more than the end o...

By: Christine Hammond, MS, IMH If the small stuff like bad test grades, periodic fights with siblings, friendships that come and go, or occasional defiance with food does not faze you as a parent, the tough stuff will. Sometimes it is a gradual progression, sometimes it comes in waves, and sometimes it hits you all at once. Whatever the method, the tough stuff of parenting can catch you off guard and leave you questioning yourself, your family and your child. Perhaps you are dealing with a child who has uncontrollable anger with outbursts so intense that they say hateful things, are uncharacteristically mean, threaten to harm themselves or others, or physically take their anger out on others. Perhaps you are dealing with a child who stays out all night, comes home acting differently, has questionable friends, lies frequently or displays other signs of potential substance abuse. Perhaps you are dealing with a child who has withdrawn from most social engagements, has no desire t...

By Chris Hammond Not everyone grieves in the same way. After all, we are different people with different physical appearances, different perspectives, different experiences, different thoughts, different emotions, different backgrounds, and different attitudes. So why when it comes to grief do we believe that there is one correct way to handle the loss of a loved one? There are in fact a number of constructive ways to manage the feelings of grief and some destructive ways. Learning the difference between the two is far more important. Denial. It is not uncommon for someone to struggle with believing that a loved one has passed away or to pretend that the person has not really passed. For a time being, the person may even imagine conversations with their loved one, knowing how they would most likely respond in a given situation. This usually does not last too long after passing and is more of the emotions catching up to reality. The seeds of dysfunction can begin however when the emoti...