The Lifeworks Group, Inc.

By Matt W. Sandford, LMHC When we were young people probably asked us what we wanted to be when we grew up. And I think for most of us, when we think back on how we answered we chuckle about it. Childrens’ answers to this question can be fanciful, and have nothing to do with the concept of a good “fit”. But what constitutes a good fit? And how can we expect to find satisfaction in life if our job is more a fight than a good fit? What can we do? I believe that in some ways we are conditioned in our culture to conceive of finding a “good job” in specific ways, such as: it is something I am good at, it is something I like doing, it is something that pays well, and it is something that is respected by others. Our parents and families were likely highly invested in us finding a “good job” and so the expectations were there hovering over us. And with the cultural and family expectations doing their job, many of us pursued what we hoped would be a “fitting” career. We worked hard thr...

By Matt W. Sandford, LMHC Do all couples fight? Over the years I’ve certainly seen plenty that do, and I’ve also have seen a fair share who claim they don’t or that they never saw their parents fight. It’s my proposition that pretty much all couples fight. I would wager that those who claim they don’t fight either are using a style called withdraw or alimentation as their form of fighting, or they don’t have enough of a relationship to even bother to fight. You see, fighting in marriage may be really bad stuff and may represent a road to the end – divorce is on its way. But , fighting in marriage may also represent two people who are really different, living in a fallen world, trying to get their needs met, express themselves and make their marriage work, all while under stress. What if a lot of fighting in marriage isn’t really bad, it’s just badly managed? What if often we aren’t really trying to be a jerk or bitch and we don’t hate the other person, but instead we are...