The Lifeworks Group, Inc.

By: Dwight Bain LMHC   Ever hear your kids or partner whine about something? Did it make you feel better or frustrated? My guess is it irritated you because listening to somebody complain doesn’t help the relationship improve. In fact it doesn’t help anyone improve and is an indicator of maturity. Listen to these words of wisdom from a bumper sticker. “The more you complain- the more you will find to complain about.” Whatever you focus on is what you get more of, so when you move away from complaining and whining you can move toward finding something better. It takes no more time to see the good side of life than to see the bad, and when you make this switch it helps the relationship and even your health by preventing energy loss. Randy Pausch wrote about this energy drain in his book, “The Last Lecture,” listen, “If you took one-tenth the energy you put into complaining and applied it to solving the problem, you'd be surprised by how well things ...

By Chris Hammond The other day a female client told me about her husband’s ranting and raving over what seemed like nothing and then again it was something. His work was demanding more and more, he did not like his boss or the people he worked with, the house needed some repairs, his health was deteriorating, he got a stomach ache from his last meal, the dog wanted too much attention, and several other large and small complaints. His ranting and raving lasted well over several hours and resolved absolutely nothing. At the end, she was exhausted, frustrated, hurt and desperately wanted to help him but had no idea where to begin. Sound familiar? Maybe it is a close friend, a co-worker, a child, a parent or a spouse who routinely rants and raves over what seems like nothing but usually is something. Their ranting and raving does not seem to resolve anything in the moment and by the time it ends they feel better and you feel worse. It is as if they unloaded their garbage onto you but you ...