How to build Thanksgiving Connection instead of Political Conflict?

By: Dwight Bain, LMHC, NCC, Certified Coach & Critical Incident Recovery Expert


20 Strategies to build unity using questions that connect relationships

The holiday season can create a loving connection between family members or be a time of conflict, arguments, rejection and hurt. Especially after the emotionally charged 2024 Presidential election left many family relationships stressed while leaving others completely shattered.

How can you have a calm conversation with your relatives when there is so much political pressure and unrest? As host you must set the tone that your Thanksgiving table is about connection – not conflict. It is a time of unity not division. The conversation needs to be focused about family relationships of the people who live at your house, not a debate about who is elected to serve at the White House.

Talking about personal life allows stress to go down because it allows for empathy and understanding about normal life challenges instead of national ones. Everyone is stressed and everyone needs more support to manage pressure. The questions below are designed to open a family dialogue to grow stronger during these difficult times and will allow for more disclosure as you go further down the page. Help everyone start a conversation and encourage others to share what was meaningful, or perhaps even frustrating about surviving this stressful time as you build unity by leaning in and connecting.

Thanksgiving can be a time to enjoy relationships if you set a firm boundary to block conflict and boost connection with meaningful conversation over a family meal. It is a chance to share gratitude for the people you care about, express appreciation and voice the blessings of life often taken for granted. To count blessings instead of counting problems.


Here are twenty conversation starters to build connection, emotional strength, mental toughness, and resilience. Ask –

  • It’s been a tough year – what are three things you are grateful for this holiday?
  • Can you share a family tradition that makes you feel connected and supported?
  • How do you think our family has grown stronger through adversity?
  • How do you think we can support each other better during difficult moments?
  • Can you share a time when you felt proud of how you handled a difficult situation?
  • What is something that has helped you stay positive during tough times?
  • Who in our family do you admire for their resilience, and why?
  • How do you usually cope when you feel overwhelmed or stressed?
  • What is a recent challenge you faced, and how did you overcome it?
  • What is a lesson you learned from failure or setback?
  • Can you think of a moment when you showed support to someone else through a hard time? What did you learn from that experience?
  • What’s one piece of advice you’d give to someone struggling with their mental health?
  • How do you define strength, and how do you think it manifests in our family?
  • What role does gratitude play in helping you stay resilient?
  • What are some strategies you use to stay motivated during challenging times?
  • How do you celebrate your accomplishments, big or small?
  • Is there a specific scripture or mantra that inspires you when things get tough?
  • What’s a habit or practice you’ve adopted to strengthen your emotional well-being?
  • What is a goal you have for yourself that requires mental toughness to achieve?
  • Can you share a time when you had to step out of your comfort zone? What did you learn and in what ways have you grown or changed this year?


Consider sharing from your heart to spark vulnerable conversations with your family and friends as you model the value of open conversations. Story is a powerful force to build hope and courage for everyone. Talk about life experiences you have gone through, especially difficult times your family and friends may not be aware of. Sharing how you managed previous challenges might give courage to family facing similar challenges now.

When you share your story of overcoming challenges, it helps each person feel less stress and stay engaged in the relationship. Post-Election recovery is challenging for everyone, but those who work at building connection will see their relationship improve. Crisis can create deep connections, so start a conversation this holiday which may help someone find resilience and strength in the New Year and beyond.


 About the Author:  Dwight Bain guides people through times of crisis or major change. He is a Mental Health Thought Leader, Nationally Certified Counselor Nationally Certified Trauma and Crisis Management Trainer with over 30 years of experience. Dwight has spoken to over 3,000 groups and partners with media, corporations and non-profit organizations to build resilience and rapid recovery. Access more positive resources to solve stressful situations by visiting his blog or on social media @DwightBain He lives in Orlando with his wife Sheila and their rescue pets.

 

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