Dr. Mark Laaser's 12 Hidden Signs of Male Sex Offenders
1. Is a loner, has no accountability, meaning that he has no one who really knows his struggles. He may have hundreds of friends but no intimate relationships. He doesn’t’ know how to share his feelings and needs in healthy ways (Accountability Principle #2).
2. Spends “special” time with certain people (boys). He takes them on special outings or to special events. Engages in horseplay or any opportunity to touch the boys.
3. Outwardly he is seen touching them, not publicly inappropriately, and touching them often.
4. He is charismatic and very likeable. Therefore, everyone has a very hard time believing that he is doing “awful” things.
5. Uses his charm to form special relationships. He seems more friendly with certain boys than a grownup should be.
6. Gives out his private phone number. Meets at strange times.
7. Uses sexual humor or teasing.
8. Women might experience him as angry. This is because he has a great deal of repressed anger at women. Men experience him as a good old boy.
9. So likeable that there is a broad level of systemic denial. “How could such a man do anything like that?”
10. Certain boys seem suddenly to be more reserved, even depressed.
11. The system of boys “knows” that stuff is going on but is embarrassed to talk about it to grownups. Every one of the group “knows” that there is something weird or different about the man. The system learns to avoid him.
12. The whole system, including sometimes parents, get pulled into the problem because to them it seems so “wonderful” that such a great man is willing to spend special time with some of the boys. A systematic denial develops because it is so hard to believe that such a good guy could do such things.
2. Spends “special” time with certain people (boys). He takes them on special outings or to special events. Engages in horseplay or any opportunity to touch the boys.
3. Outwardly he is seen touching them, not publicly inappropriately, and touching them often.
4. He is charismatic and very likeable. Therefore, everyone has a very hard time believing that he is doing “awful” things.
5. Uses his charm to form special relationships. He seems more friendly with certain boys than a grownup should be.
6. Gives out his private phone number. Meets at strange times.
7. Uses sexual humor or teasing.
8. Women might experience him as angry. This is because he has a great deal of repressed anger at women. Men experience him as a good old boy.
9. So likeable that there is a broad level of systemic denial. “How could such a man do anything like that?”
10. Certain boys seem suddenly to be more reserved, even depressed.
11. The system of boys “knows” that stuff is going on but is embarrassed to talk about it to grownups. Every one of the group “knows” that there is something weird or different about the man. The system learns to avoid him.
12. The whole system, including sometimes parents, get pulled into the problem because to them it seems so “wonderful” that such a great man is willing to spend special time with some of the boys. A systematic denial develops because it is so hard to believe that such a good guy could do such things.
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