Preparing for Marriage – Two Becoming One

By Chris Hammond, MS, IMH

There are many definitions of marriage today with different states and churches adding their own definitions to the mix. You, like I, are each free to follow our own definition of marriage within the laws of our state. But as for me, I choose to follow the Biblical model of marriage which is a man and a woman united together in a covenant from God (Genesis 2:24). This unity is the beginning of a family unit to which children may be added in the future but it is also a departure from your family of origin. It is in its’ very nature a formation of a new relationship, a new bond, and a new unit. To better understand a Biblical marriage, some ground work needs to be laid.

In His Image. Ever wonder why God created man and woman in His image (Genesis 1:27)? Could it be that He created man and woman in His image because we are to model Him here on earth? Several times Jesus tells us that we are “a light” to the world (Matthew 5:14). Our light does not come from us, rather it comes from reflecting God’s light which is never extinguished. We were created in His image to reflect His light. Why you ask? So that even in our relationships, in our most important relationship such as marriage, His image and His light can be seen.

Intentionally Created. Looking back over Genesis 2, we see that man was created out of dust and woman was created out of the rib of man. Men and woman are literally created differently. God could have created them the same way but He did not. This is not just a physical difference, but a difference in purpose and design as well. Why you ask? Each of us has a different role in life. When we look at the trinity of God: the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, each part of the trinity has a different role to play. One of the many roles is the Father as the Creator, the Son Jesus as the sacrifice, and the Holy Spirit as a guide. You do not see the Holy Spirit called the sacrifice because the Holy Spirit knows the role it plays in the trinity. A husband and a wife are intentionally created with different roles yet they are part of one unit.

Separation from family. In order for two to truly be united as one, they need to leave behind their family of origin. Just as there are no additional roles in the trinity, there are no additional roles in the new family unit. The new family unit consists of a husband and a wife (Genesis 2:24). Leaving parents can be a difficult task but it is an essential element for the formation of a new bond. Why you ask? As long as a parent is there to cling to in times of need, a spouse will never learn to cling to one another and the bond will not be properly formed.

Two into one. This is a great mystery which is difficult to understand until you experience it. Once we accept that our purpose in life is to reflect God’s image, that we are intentionally created for a reason, that we are to leave our family of origin, then we can begin the process of becoming one with one another. Why you ask? The new bond properly reflects the relationship between God the Father, the Son Jesus, and the Holy Spirit to one another. When the marriage unit adds children, it is a perfect reflection of the trinity.

The bond of two becoming one is tightly woven and is not easily broken if formed correctly. Many of the marriage problems are centered on an improper unity of a marriage and often going back to the basics of what a marriage is can elevate some of the most difficult challenges.


Chris Hammond is a Registered Mental Health Counselor Intern at LifeWorks Group w/ over 15 years of experience as a counselor, mentor & teacher for children, teenagers & adults.

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