The Hidden Power of Change: Part 2

By Dwight Bain, Life Coach & Counselor

Change involves the cycle of fighting for control, feeling like you are losing control, surrendering control and making the choice to allow God full control your life.

Change cycle: Life = change = stress = strength = success; so as you master stress the successes come faster and more frequently.

Every change tests what you believe. If you wiggle out of facing the test today, it just comes back bigger next time so face the change, take the test and show the world what you believe.

When change happens you have a choice- manage it and grow stronger, or avoid it and grow weaker.

Reacting to change wisely improves every part of your life-reacting foolishly destroys your life. The rich get richer and the poor get poorer all based on what they do with change.

Change is temporary and usually comes from unexpected circumstances. Confidence is lasting and usually comes from strategically planned choices.

Crisis forces change which is good for everyone but never really appreciated by anyone.

Changing your spouse is impossible-changing your situation is possible and changing yourself gives you the strength to say "I'm-possible". Everything is different when you make the decision to change.

When you stop spending your energy trying to change the people in your life who don’t want to change, you discover a hidden source of power for personal change in your own life.

Stop trying to change! Decide to either do it or not do it, but quit telling yourself and others that you are trying. When you’re trying-you’re lying.

Some people spend all their time trying to change others because they fear changing themselves. However, when you overcome that fear and change yourself it forces the people around you to change as well.

When you make a dramatic change, it forces the people around you to make a dramatic change as well. They have to change along with you, or they must leave- either way the relationship is never the same.

Unexpected change will happen- so get ready now to manage it when it comes; which will always be sooner than later.

You can try to escape change or you can equip and get ready to face it, either way you have to make a choice about dealing with change.

Changing yourself is hard work, because you have to make right choices in the face of possible rejection and failure. Not changing yourself only brings a greater chance for even greater rejection and failure.

Change what you can, (like exercising to lose weight), instead of what you can't (like trying to stretch yourself taller to hide the weight by shifting it around or buying magic ‘fat burner’ pills). That’s why you can grow stronger with the power of personal change in spite of any obstacle or setback. Remember- you always have options.

When you make a bold choice to change, it brings an immediate sense of confidence, control & energy. The decision to change gives you a huge boost in mental power and strength to overcome obstacles.

If you avoid making the choice to change, you get confusion which leads to chaos. When you take bold action and choose to change you get confidence which leads to success.

Change yourself or change the system. People like to discuss or criticize the system, because it feels safer than taking the courage to risk something new and in the process change themselves.

Control change now, or it will be controlling you later.

When you avoid making a relationship change in order to avoid relationship conflict, you guarantee that there will be more conflict than you ever dreamed possible. Better to deal with the changes now on your terms and with your time frame, than let it build up into a power struggle full of conflict that always explodes when you least expect it.

When someone brings the “worst” out of you in a relationship, let the experience challenge your weakest points to change. Don’t let their personality problems get in the way of your progress and growth. Grow before you go.

If you want to experience dramatic change in your life it can only come from improving every day. There are no instant plans for maturity.

The things you control, are the things that you can immediately change- if you have the courage to face them and take action!

Most people know what needs to change in their life- they just lack the courage to boldly face it and do something about it.

It’s easier live in fear than to find the courage of Todd Beamer who empowered a nation to change when he faced the 9/11 terrorists with the words “Let’s Roll”.

Whoever said, "If present trends continue" didn't understand change. That's why you can't look back at trends and accurately predict the future, it changes too fast. Learn from the past, study where you are today and get ready for the new trends ahead. As John Maxwell says, “Yesterday ended last night.”

Trust is everything & everything builds trust or it builds distrust. That’s why every relationship is getting stronger or weaker every day based on the choices you make today. You always control your side of relationships, both personally and professionally. Change your side of the situation before you criticize the other side; that way your integrity and self-respect continues to grow strong, in spite of the difficulty or problems.

Trust takes a long time to build, a short time to lose, and then a long time to build. So whichever way you turn, you have to be building trust.

Facing change has always been the fastest way to achieve greatness in life. That’s why we remember the names of Edison, Ford, Carnegie or Disney instead of equally talented people living during the same era who were afraid to take the chance to make a change.

This is your time to change!

So, what insights have you gained from this quick study of the subject of change, and more importantly, what are you going to do about it …today? Now?

I’ve studied what people say when they are facing the end of their life, and noticed that they find their greatest satisfaction from areas they took the positive action to change. Relationships that grew strong, houses or businesses they built, financial security they achieved and then wisely invested, health and happiness from doing something different to leave a positive legacy. Those were the things that people smiled about as they faced eighty years worth of life.

What about you? Have you thought about the value of making positive changes over a lifetime? If you begin today to move forward and face your problems with the hidden power of change, it will get you off the road of complacency and comfort and move you toward a better life. A life that will be scary at first, but leads to counting blessings instead of problems because you had enough courage to risk moving forward to face and deal with change; instead of staying stuck and being destroyed by it.

I challenge you to begin that process today as if your life depended on it, because it does! Real life is lost when you try to avoid dealing with change, that’s why some people have the same problems at fifty-five that they did at twenty-five. They just got older on the outside instead of growing up on the inside. When they say they have had a problem for ‘their whole life’ it’s a lie! Life isn’t over yet, so you can’t have a problem every day of life- unless you are dead!

This is your time to break away from the crowd, take a risk and move toward change. Even taking one step is a change from the way you used to live, so take it! Take it and know that when you do, the right people will come along side you to help; after you make the first move toward change- never before. You see, God is always on time with the people, ideas, capital or whatever resource you need to change, but He always waits on us to take the first step. That may explain why Jesus would always ask the sick people he was about to heal one simple question. “What would you have me to do for you?” He asked before He healed.

Now it’s your turn to experience the supernatural power of change. What do you want to change? What prayer do you want answered so badly that you can taste it? What area of life is about to explode with growth and potential in your life? There is a tremendous power in change but it waits on you. Success in your life is always waiting on you and you alone. Are you ready? I believe this is your time, that’s why you have read this far as you considered making a positive change in your own life. However, there is no power in a coach telling you to change, because the power is in your movement and your action. Change is waiting on you, because when you believe enough to take the first step, the power will grow inside of you to take the next one. Change grows with every positive action you take, as does your personal power.

Here’s a warning for you though. It will be a lot harder than you think when you begin to honestly face the weaknesses that are crying out for change in your life, both personally and professionally. Not only will it be painful to do this, but you can’t do it alone so you will need to take action to involve other healthy people . Go find a coach, counselor, mentor, book, tape, CD, seminar, or even a fellow struggler who is motivated enough to risk making a change and ask them to come alongside you in the journey of changing instead of complaining.

Here’s another warning! Know that some will come against you to criticize your progress, because your growth makes them feel uncomfortable and it exposes the weaknesses in their life that they need to take action on. They may attack you, your motives, your character, and especially your dreams of a better life. The bigger the change you make, the more they may come against you! Don’t stop my friend, Press on anyway.

Sadly, this will especially be true for those who are the closest to you. Be ready for their attacks, since it’s not really about you, it’s about the discomfort they feel about making change in their life. Don’t slow down- don’t stop…just keep growing and changing and pray for them to do the same, since the momentum from your positive growth might challenge them to do the same. God wants them to change too, that’s why He sent you to lead the way. So don’t wait on them, just keep growing every day as you draw from the hidden power of change.

As you take this positive action in your life, be prepared for one more surprising thing. Everyone around you, including total strangers, will begin to praise you in amazement because of how quickly and powerfully your life has become one of strength and significance. Everyone will be surprised at your progress except God, who designed you for greatness a long time ago. It was inside you the whole time! Your difficult life experiences opened up your mind to the new possibilities that are only available from the hidden power of change.

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About the author- Dwight Bain is dedicated to helping people achieve greater results. He is a Nationally Certified Counselor, Certified Life Coach and Certified Family Law Mediator in practice since 1984 with a primary focus on solving crisis events and managing major change. He is a member of the National Speakers Association and partners with media, major corporations and non-profit organizations to make a positive difference in our culture. Access more counseling and coaching resources designed to save you time by solving stressful situations by visiting his counseling blog with over 300 complimentary articles and special reports at

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