10 Ways to Stay a Good Parent during a Bad Time

Deedra B. Hunter, M.S., LMHC

Getting a divorce is a hard decision and creates a tremendous amount of stress for everyone involved especially your children. Here are 10 tips to help you maintain a loving relationship with them at this time.

1. Tell you children in age appropriate language the divorce is about you and your spouse not about them.

2. Reassure your children that the love that you and your spouse have for them can never and will never go away.

3. Never turn your children into “little friends” using them to take care of your needs and emotions during the divorce.

4. Never tell your oldest male child he is now “the man in the family” and never tell your oldest female child she is now the “little mother” in the family.

5. Never make your children feel they must choose between you and your spouse.

6. Encourage the children to spend time and call the non-residential parent.

7. Never ever tell the children terrible things about your former spouse.

8. Tell your children this is a sad time and allow them to grieve.

9. Encourage your children to talk to their friends about the divorce.

10. Remind them often how much you love them and how much you and your spouse are working together for their best interest.

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