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Showing posts from October, 2006

How to Choose a Therapist…

First of all check the therapist’s education, credentials, knowledge and experience in dealing with your problem.What is the therapist’s reputation in the community or is the clinic reputable? How long has the counselor been in practice? Was the therapist referred by a physician office, other professional or prior client? This adds credibility to the therapist’s work. If any of your friends or family have ever consulted a therapist, ask them what their experiences were like. Did they like their therapist and was the treatment helpful? Ensure that your therapist’s moral values are similar to yours. A therapist’s role is to guide you in the choices that you make. If your therapist’s views are too different, the advice that they offer may not make a lot of sense to you. Therapy, however, is an adversarial process and you shouldn’t start looking for a new therapist just because your current therapist challenges your views and attitudes. That’s part of their job. What is important is the …

Don’t Forget the Blessing! By Aaron Welch, LMHC

When we think about the phrase, “bless you”, what immediately comes to mind is that someone has probably sneezed and, for some reason, we believe that offering them this comment brings some relief to their allergies or head cold or whatever they’re suffering from. Come to think of it, I have no idea why this tradition was started. Perhaps it is designed to counteract any potential embarrassment they may feel by sneezing in front of us. I don’t know. I only know that, when we think of blessing, this comes to mind. Another situation that stirs in my brain when I think of a blessing is when we pray before eating a meal. “Don’t forget to say the blessing” is a sentence that I heard a lot while growing up. I always wondered if something horrible, perhaps even fatal, might happen to me if I forgot to pray before taking a bite into my bologna sandwich. Luckily, I am still intact in spite of forgetting to bless my food at times.
But the blessing that I want to encourage you…

Relationship Cancer: Understanding the psychological dynamics of domestic violence. By Dwight Bain, Nationally Certified Counselor

Her cries for help in the middle of the night startled us awake and when we turned on the lights and let our neighbor inside, the red welts on her arms and face shocked us even more. “How could he do this to you?” My mother asked, and all she could sob out was “He didn’t mean to do it, please don’t call the police.”

That was my first exposure to domestic violence almost 35 years ago yet I can still vividly remember the look of terror in her eyes after being beat up by her husband, (who was so out of control that he had actually pulled out a weapon to use against her). She ran for her life, but an hour later as the police were handcuffing him for transport to the jail, she was begging them to leave him alone so she could take care of him. It was a long night for everyone, but the next day it was like nothing had ever happened, because it was never discussed again. Nothing ever changed at that house for years until a sudden divorce ended the marriage and they just went their separate w…

Problem Solving Process by Dwight Bain, LMHC

State the Problem in a way that it can be solved.
· You are so messy. Not a solvable problem.
· You haven’t been getting your clothes into the hamper. This can be solved.

Brainstorm all possible solutions without evaluating them.
· Put a hamper in the bedroom and the bathroom.
· Pay someone else to pick up the clothes.
· Do your own laundry.
· Buy new clothes and throw away the used ones.
· Wear wrinkled/dirty clothes.
· Post reminder notes around the house about picking up the clothes.
· Etc.
· Etc.

Evaluate the possibilities.
· What will happen if I pick this option?
· How will this one work?
. Pick one, or a combination, to try out.

Re-evaluate.
· Many people omit this step.
· Schedule a time and date to re-evaluate how the solution is working.
· If it is not working, then go back to step two and start over again.

Terrible Two’s or Terrific Toddlers? by Aaron Welch, LMHC

I know.........everybody seems to claim that toddlers who hit the age of two suddenly become a close replica to Satan himself. You know, they are demanding, they throw temper tantrums, they grab everything they see, and they seem to have fallen in love with saying the word, “NO!”. Although some of these behaviors do happen during this stage of development, it doesn’t mean that these years have to become an unbearable nightmare that leads every parent into psychological therapy. Raising children of any age is challenging. Although children are a tremendous gift, they can also be a test of our patience. It’s just part of being a parent. If children were born with the innate ability to handle life, where would the fun be? Most parents love to hold their children and love on them as much as possible. Is there any greater word in the English language than “daddy” or “mommy”? Yet, just as parents enjoy the sweet dependence of their children, they must also endure the immature emoti…