The Lifeworks Group, Inc.

By: Christine Hammond LMHC William was ashamed and embarrassed. For years, he tolerated abuse from his wife yet he told no one. Knowing he would not strike back at her, she hit him, threw things at him, physically blocked him from leaving the room, and followed him when he did yelling insults. Sex was used as manipulation. If William did what she wanted, he could have sex. If not, there was no sex for months. He was so humiliated by the abuse that even when he entered therapy, he didn’t reveal what was happening. Instead, he minimized her rages as “disagreements”. But one day, after coming in with a fresh red mark on his face and looking visibly shaken by her latest outburst, he disclosed his reality. Just admitting the abuse was relieving but he had a long road ahead to recovery. All too often, the signs of domestic violence for men are dismissed. The old stereotype of an abuser being a male in a wife beater T-shirt is still alive. But in reality, abusers come f...

By: Christine Hammond LMHC The first time Nancy came into counseling she had a hard time looking at her therapist. Embarrassed and ashamed of the bruises on her body, the mental torture from her spouse, and sexual acts he coerced her into doing, she struggled to talk. She believed that she deserved to be treated this way and her actions were causing his rage. Nancy minimized his acts by making excuses for his abusive behavior and blaming herself. It took a while for Nancy to summon the courage leave her husband. Once she did, she thought that all of her problems would be over and she would be healed. However, what she thought was the finish of a race, was really just the beginning. It took her over a year to recover from her trauma and get to a place of feeling at peace. Here’s how she did it. 1.        Safety first. The healing process begins when the victim of abuse is finally away from their abuser. Unfortunately this step ca...

Understanding the psychological dynamics of domestic violence By C. Dwight Bain, Nationally Certified Counselor & Certified Life Coach Her cries for help in the middle of the night startled us awake and when we turned on the lights and let our neighbor inside, the red welts on her arms and face shocked us even more. “How could he do this to you?” My mother asked, and all she could sob out was “He didn’t mean to do it, please don’t call the police.” That was my first exposure to domestic violence almost 35 years ago yet I can still vividly remember the look of terror in her eyes after being beat up by her husband, (who was so out of control that he had actually pulled out a weapon to use against her). She ran for her life, but an hour later as the police were handcuffing him for transport to the jail, she was begging them to leave him alone so she could take care of him. It was a long night for everyone, but the next day it was like nothing had ever happened, because it was never ...