The Lifeworks Group, Inc.

By: Megan Brewer, IMH Perfectionism costs us more than we realize and takes more energy than we are willing to admit. Many people will wear perfectionism around like a badge or as a description of who they are. They explain their actions or thoughts by saying nonchalantly, “I’m just a perfectionist.” But perfectionism is not an identity. It’s much more a method of survival we have adopted to protect ourselves from the parts of us we feel are inadequate or not enough.  Striving for the impossible standards of perfectionism is like trying to fill a never-ending hole with more and more work and expecting it to one day be filled. Perfectionism is different from a good work ethic or being passionately driven towards a goal. Perfectionism is exhaustive striving, with no personal boundaries, in an attempt to make up what we feel is lacking in ourselves.  Perfectionism robs us of ourselves How aware are you of the moments when an image of your perceived ideal slides in...

By: Christine Hammond, LMHC, NCC Brian came into therapy describing his wife’s behavior as having Borderline Personality Disorder. He looked up the definition online and said he knew she had it. He gave numerous examples of how perfectly she fit the profile and how he and the kids had been traumatized by her behavior. Brian said she was fearful of his abandonment and in desperation would rage anytime he mentioned separation. He talked about her alcohol abuse and how she seemed like an addict. He said she would be happy one minute and furious the next. Yet every time the conversation was redirected to him, he became evasive. Physically, Brian’s face seemed unusually red. He was a bit shaky, noticeably uncomfortable, and yet meticulously groomed. His manner of speech seemed rehearsed and he was hyper-focused on his wife. He desperately wanted affirmation from me, the therapist, that he was right in his diagnosis of her and was upset that I was unwilling to give it im...