Is A Better Job Worth Moving Across Country?

Is a Better Job Worth Moving Across the Country? Use the Quality-of-Life Checklist before calling U-Haul. 

by

Dwight Bain, LMHC & Certified Leadership Coach

Leaders faced with the decision to advance their career often struggle with uprooting their family to make the move. Listing all the financial benefits of the right job may not really matter after they factor in the 25 elements that shape quality of life, (QoL). Consider –

• Trying to not make a major mistake can sometimes lead to making more.
• Becoming a road warrior to try and balance both sides leads to exhaustion.
• Staying frustrated in a struggling organization can lead to impulsively jumping at any new opportunity to escape. Basically, jumping off a ‘sinking ship’ by leaping over to an unknown, and potentially leaking organization. You can’t sail to new places when you’re busy bailing old problems from a different cubicle.
• Wisdom is to measure what matters before taking the new job and then calling U-Haul.

Mapping wellness with decisions to protect your personal life, while expanding your professional career is a logical path to build a better outcome. As you think about your current circumstances, measure it against your potential life in a new zip code and consider the qualities that lead to a meaningful quality of life. This involves charting out dozens of essential issues, including how the change would affect your partner, your children, and any extended relatives you have responsibilities to care for.

Making a major move can expand your life for the good by adding value to your family, finances, and future. But don’t miss the other side of this process, since a poorly thought-out move can explode your quality of life and potentially hurt your family. There is a lot to consider, and a lot to compare because some moves are so extreme there isn’t any going back. As the ancient carpenter advice goes, “Measure twice – cut once. “

Consider how the personal factors of Mental, Physical, Relational and Spiritual would change if you made the move:

__Relationships with immediate family

__Relationships with peers in both places

__What Age / Lifestage are you, your partner, and children in now?

__Access to medical, dental, mental healthcare

__Access to nature, parks, and recreation in greenspaces

__Community services and resources to match your values.

__Are there houses of worship that fit your traditions and beliefs

__Community that values fitness, youth sports, concerts, arts, social events, and fun

__Affordable Housing that fits your family’s needs

__Neighborhood that welcomes new people and ideas

__Time and opportunity for travel, or other social experiences to connect relationships after the move.

Then consider the professional factors of - Career, Finances, Organizational Health and Life Purpose if you made this move:

__Meaningful work that lines up with your natural talent and gifting

__Purposeful work that matches your interests and core values

__Opportunities for Legacy work by mentoring or coaching others

__Ability to express your voice and agency to create change.

__Opportunities for decision making where your voice can be heard.

__Access to mentors or leaders who might expand your thinking and skills.

__Opportunities for professional development and leadership

__Organization values new ideas and respects all voices.

__Financial income to support a lifestyle that fits your values and family needs.

__Work matches your personality, motivation, and natural curiosity.

__Joining an established team, or doing solo work with clear direction

__Organizational culture of growth that embraces positive change.

__Position offers room to grow and expand capacity and potential.

__Have you prepared a new leader to take your place in the position you would be leaving; and have you set them up to succeed after your departure?

To map out both sides is a logical way to prepare for the psychological pressure that may come from extended family and friends who may not want you to leave. Their arguments are often based on the fear of not seeing you, your partner, or kids as much, and sometimes they can layer on the F.O.G. (Fear-Obligation-Guilt) to manipulate the decision for their benefit, while pressuring you in the process. In extreme situations, (think pathological instead of logical), they may become controlling or angry… and it may not just be your relatives. Sometimes friends, coworkers or even a boss can apply this pressure.

Emotions are normal, but often can cloud the decision process. Manage those emotions using the Quality-of-Life checklist above, spend time charting out the options, create a comparison with the known and unknown variables, then sit down with your partner and measure what matters at this stage of your life. There is much to consider so give yourself time to honestly look at all sides of the situation, and remember -

• Moving won’t make a bad or failing relationship better.
• Moving may not lead to your kids’ finding friends or getting better grades in school. But
• Moving might lead to more meaningful work with greater opportunities.
• Moving could lead to a community of like-minded people where you feel like you belong.

There are twenty-five factors that lead to quality of life, (QoL) and when you take time to create a map of what matters you can move forward with the excitement and confidence of beginning a new chapter of life in a place where you can put down roots and deepen relationships.

Mapping out what matters is the place to start, then after lining up your personal and professional goals you can call U-Haul for boxes and packing tape to turn the page to an exciting new season of opportunity. The best part? You will be building a better life together. 

About the author- Dwight Bain is dedicated to helping people achieve greater results. He is a Nationally Certified Counselor and Certified Coach in practice since 1984 with a primary focus on solving crisis events and managing major change.

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