The Lifeworks Group, Inc.

By: Brian Murray, LMHC, NCC Codependency is a word that was born out of the addiction field of therapy. It’s a description that is used for a person who is involved with a person who has substance abuse problems. The codependent has an addiction as well. They are addicted to love. There are many traits and characteristics of a codependent that can be sub-categorized under the big 3 discussed here. These are the fixer, the controller and the apathetic. In addiction they may also be accused of being an enabler or a rescuer. Codependents provide resources to the addicted person hoping they will get love in return. And hope is the key word, they hold out for the hope of getting love if they just prove how wonderful they are to the addicted person. This creates a double bind in the relationship, henceforth, the codependent and the dependent. Usually it takes years before the codependent realizes they will never get the love they seek. Or, the codependent notices a behavioral reinforceme

  By: Brian Murray, LMHC, NCC At times we can all feel confused about life. We work and grind our way through along with the dissatisfaction of having fulfilling work and relationships. We fall into a job or a marriage without ever really understanding who we are or what we are getting involved with. Years go by and we live with resentment, frustration and anxiety about who we are and what we are doing. We change careers, end the marriages and yet we still feel empty and incomplete. What is going on? Searching for direction and knowing who we are, and where we are going can be difficult. This searching can be especially challenging after a major life event such as the death of a loved one, a lost marriage or job loss. Sometimes big changes can leave us feeling liberated, and other times it can feel like the world is coming to an end. At times these major life changes cause us to wonder about what we are really doing here. It begs the question of what is the meaning of all of this?

By: Brian Murray, LMHC, NCC Going to marriage counseling isn’t always easy. Sometimes clients can leave counseling after a couple of sessions with more questions than they walked in with. Before counseling it is common for one or both partners to question whether the problem is me, my spouse or some other dynamic that is causing issues. Some problems are clear cut such as cheating or addictions, however, sometimes the problem is due to personality and interactions.   What most couples do not recognize is that the problem is usually both of them. They are failing to realize that the main client in couples counseling is the relationship itself. Every person has their own “stuff” and it’s up to each person to handle their stuff. If you own it, then you are challenged to take responsibility for it. The same goes for your relationship. Going to counseling is the first step of taking responsibility for your marriage. However, the counselor’s office is not the place to start blaming the oth

By: Megan Brewer, LMHC The first time I had surgery, I was well into my thirties. It wasn’t major—just removing a small abnormality inside my leg. The surgeon told me to expect 1–2 days to heal; then I could walk on it. He also said most people returned to work shortly thereafter. This was good news, because I didn’t want to spend any more time than was absolutely necessary away from my regularly scheduled week. Being kind to my body and giving it time and space to heal is something I have regularly wrestled to do. So, you can imagine my surprise and disappointment when after 1–2 days I still needed my sweet husband’s help to get around the house. I eventually borrowed crutches in order to move about without pain. Two weeks after the surgery, I was still unable to walk without pain and sat in my physical therapist’s office feeling frustrated—like my body had failed me somehow. She too was surprised to see my leg so swollen and so unusable, which helped me to feel a little more va

  By: Brian Murray, LMHC, NCC Depression is a condition that affects our mood. There are variations of the disorder found in the DSM-5 manual that describes each type of depressive disorder. Clinical depression goes by many names ranging from mild to severe. Mild could mean nothing more than a case of the blues that fades out after a week or two. More severe cases may require medication or a brief stay in the hospital. However hospitalized cases usually involve psychosis which can be debilitating. Longer term depression, which can be life long, is called Persistent Depressive Disorder which until recently was called Dysthymia. An example of long-term depression is seen with Eeyore in Winnie The Pooh. Depression is more than just a sad mood for a day or two, it’s something that goes for weeks, months or even years on end. Most people who experience depression report a primary feeling called anhedonia which is the inability to feel pleasure. On depression questionnaires you will see th

  By: Elizabeth McKeehan, IMH “Do my words float like a swan, grace on the water?”    Though the words (altered a bit) from this 80’s alternative song by Echo and the Bunnymen are beautiful, words aren’t always.   They can be sweet like sugar (pleasing to me and those who I share them with) or sour like extreme sour candy (distasteful to me and others).   Let’s look at what makes our talk sweet and powerful. Self Talk - What I say and how I say it to myself. What I say to myself matters. We call this self-talk. I talk to myself more than anyone else.   Is my tone positive or negative? Hopeful or hopeless? What do I tell myself?   What messages or topics most run through my head?   Are these messages beneficial? Am I speaking truth to myself or lies? Regular Talk - What I say and how I say it to others. What I say to others in my life matters too. My tone with them matters as well.   Is my tone kind, non-judgmental, hopeful, or helpful?   Is there intentionality