How To Confront Fear and Anxiety

 By: Brian Murray, LMHC, NCC

Anxiety is a natural fear response that is designed to protect us from danger. It’s a signal that comes from our subconscious mind that danger is near, and we need to prepare ourselves for fight or flight. Our brains are very powerful and can conceptualize danger even if it’s not present. This creates a problem as we can feel anxious about something that truly does not exist. This hovering anxiety is a type of generalized anxiety as it has no identifiable root cause.

Anxiety is very common in the United States and is one of the leading causes of mental health treatment concerns. Over the past year, U.S. prescriptions for anti-anxiety medications such as Xanax and Klonopin increased from 8.8 million in March 2019 to 9.7 million in March 2020 according to health-research firm IQVIA. Medication is a common first line defense for anxiety, however long term it has been shown not to be effective for treating anxiety. History of anxiety medication treatment shows that beyond a period of 4 weeks shows no benefit. Furthermore, continued use often leads to dependency and addiction to the medication. Benzodiazepines are the class of anxiety drugs often prescribed for anxiety disorders and can have a strong tranquilizing effect on the user.

So, what can be done if you are experiencing anxiety on a regular basis? Some anxiety is okay and considered a normal part of everyday life. It is a normal emotion. But what do you do when the anxiety gets excessive and begins to disrupt your job, marriage, and other areas of your life?

There are a few tricks a person can do that can have a quick, easy way to diffuse the anxiety. Since anxiety comes from the subconscious mind, we are challenged to bring our focus back to our cognitive conscious. In other words, we take control of ourselves and our anxiety from a rational thinking perspective. You actively work on anxiety through intentional coping strategies.

Below is a list of how to actively engage and manage anxiety. The list is progressive starting with some simple coping skills to more advanced techniques.

●       Count backwards from 5 to 1. When feeling anxious stop everything you are doing, close your eyes and count backwards. This disrupts the subconscious flow of negativity and puts the thought process back into the prefrontal cortex. It’s a disruption and returns your thinking brain back into being in charge of yourself. When we count forward, we tend to want to keep going in that direction. When we count backwards, we are left with nothing and so the brain must think about where it needs to go next. Give it the direction it needs to go next such as back on task.

●       Get rational to confront the fear. What are you fearful of? Identify the problem thought that is causing the fear and then get rational on whether that fear is real or some irrational made up fear. Our brains can create something from nothing so it’s entirely possible to create a fear that doesn’t exist. Ask yourself, “is this fear real or imagined?” Maybe and maybe not, what is the evidence that makes this real?

●       Say what you need to. In relationships you might be worried about hurting someone by the things you feel you need to say. True, you might, and you might not. Ask yourself if what you feel you need to say will actually cause harm. Harm is different from hurt. Some truth in relationships may bring discomfort to the other, however it may bring growth to the relationship and relieve you of your anxiety. Much of how this will go has to do with how well the other person can listen and receive what you have to say. Don’t beat yourself up if the other person is unaccepting of your truth and something you are trying to share about your experience with them.

●       Fear of failure. Yes, you may fail, you may not. Look at situations as an opportunity to learn instead of failure. As Thomas Edison once said, “I never failed at anything, I just found ten thousand ways that won’t work.” Once you find out that something isn’t working, let it go and move on.

●       Worry being out of control. Stop whatever you are doing. Put your pencil down. Put the phone down and just relax for a minute. Next up is focus, start by counting backwards from 5 to bring yourself back to reality from the fear. Prioritize what you must do next and execute that task, and only that task, and the next task and so on.

●       Worried that the anxiety will return. Yes, it will return. So be ready for it by developing your coping skills to manage it when it does. Metacognition is thinking about the thinking. Likewise, you are feeling anxious about feeling anxious. It’s important to understand that thoughts lead to feelings. Change your thoughts to change your feelings. How do you do that? Take a break, get a drink of water, take a 5-minute walk, phone a friend or have a trusted colleague you can talk to.

●       Out of control anxiety. Feeling hopeless and powerless over our feelings can be one of the worst situations a person can experience. Anxiety can be very real with a valid reason for it. Things like job loss, marital stress, family, conflict, loneliness, and other real-life situations can bring on despair, panic and even depression. If you feel this is happening to the point you feel powerless over it then it’s time to get professional help. Find a therapist you feel is right for you and talk about the problems you are facing in your life.

Trivializing your fears is never helpful, whether it’s coming from yourself or others. It’s not healthy to try and suck it up and push all the emotions down as they will often manifest in other ways. There is a saying that the body will betray the mind. It does this through high blood pressure, ulcers, and sleep issues just to mention a few. Anxiety will not go away, it’s a normal part of who we are. However, we are challenged daily to do our best to manage it so it doesn’t overwhelm us. 

  To schedule an appointment with Brian Murray,
Please call our office at 407-647-7005.
www.lifeworksgroup.org